my psych doc (rant)

so i saw my psychdoc today, and we talked a bit about DID....
she said that i didn't "present" as having DID, that people with true multiple personalities arent aware of it...
she said that my people are just a delusion that allows me to dissociate. that i do have a dissociative disorder, but not multiples.
i got so angry, but i said nothing.
is she right?
i mean how could i have been delusional since i was like 5?!?
maybe i did just "make it all up" as a coping mechanism...
maybe its just a fantasy world that allows me to behave a certain way, or cope with situations without being accountable for my actions...

raeleigh wrote:she said that i didn't "present" as having DID, that people with true multiple personalities arent aware of it...

#######4. people with full amnesia, no seeping through at all between parts, yes.

but that is not everyone with DID. However traditional her views are. Sounds like tehy are outdated to me.

So does that mean the instant we become aware of our DID, we don't have it anymore? Pfft. Of course you were enraged; this is invalidation at its most toxic. This psychdoc is not well informed.

In the 2009 book edited by Paul Dell and John O'Neil, Richard Kluft devotes a chapter to a single case history. A woman comes to him saying she must have DID but this is not possible because she has no symptoms. This conundrum seizes his complete interest . . . and by the end of the interview he has witnessed her switching and confirmed her self-diagnosis.

im so frustrated, and depressed, and angry...
ive posted my symptoms here, and youve all agreed that it does sound like i have DID, but i cannot get any validation from my MH profs, except my case manager...who sees me most often.
the noise in my head right now is overwhelming, i dont even know which thoughts are mine...
im gonna go dye my hair.

Yes I think you have every right to be frustrated. Are you case manager and your other MH professionals completley sepreate from each other. Can your case manager not talk to them about what is going on and what s/he thinks?

Bourbon

they do talk to each other, but apparently they dont agree, of course my case manager is not prof trained, shes just here to check in on me, we talk...
i dont even know why this is bothering me so much, i mean, i have my DX, im on disability, what more do i need?

It bothers you maybe because you want all your mental health professionals to be working on the same page. If one thinks one thing and another doesn't believe it... well... it leaves you in the middle kinda being torn? At least, that is how it would make me feel.

Bourbon

Your "psychiatrist" sounds like she doesn't know her stuff at all concerning DID, if she can even call herself a "psychiatrist". I'd love to show her a thing or two about awareness while having DID.

Levels of awareness are different for each person, just as each case of DID is different. To say that you do not have DID simply because you are not supposed to be aware of it shows that your psychiatrist is sorely misinformed, and does not have the proper knowledge of the subject at hand. Her views sound extremely outdated, and it seems as if she has done no current research at all. Perhaps she is a skeptic? I cannot understand a doctor who plants their feet so firmly in their views when they clearly have not done any proper research, especially when it involves a patient who is concerned about what they're aware of. ~Rain

I agree with Una+ and bourbon. Your doctor sounds like she has outdated views on DID and doesn't understand or know enough about it to help you. I've been aware that I've had SOMETHING, I didn't know what it was, but I was aware that something was going on since I was 11. I've had at least one voice ever since I could remember, but when I was younger I wrote it off as just being a kid with an over-active imagination. Some people have no idea they have DID, some people have an idea but don't know that they switch, some people know that they switch but don't know anything else, some people know all their alters, and some people know everything about their system (when they switch, how to co-host, who their alters are, etc). It varies from person to person. Don't let her misinformed views cause doubt in you. Only you truly know what's going on inside you, what you hear, what you feel, what you see, and so trust yourself. Your doctor isn't you, she doesn't know what it's like to be you, she'll never truly know what you experience. So don't let her cause doubt. I knew I had DID even when my psychiatrist was skeptical, and even after I switched in front of him (Kat came bursting out), he was still skeptical. But I held onto my beliefs because I knew what was going on while he didn't.

raeleigh wrote:im on disability, what more do i need?

You need help, from someone who knows how to help you, not make your symptoms worse. Being invalidated is guaranteed to make them worse.

Can your case manager get the team to agree to having you assessed by a specialist in diagnosing DID, just to "put to rest" your "delusion"?

It's not that her statement is outdated; it's just ignorant. Often but not always, and only at first, the host does not know about the other alters.

Rayleigh it also maybe bothers you because you got called a lier! Who wouldn't be angry and depressed at that?

Chloe. X