help identifying dissociation?

Una+ wrote:Middle-man, I would push for an assessment by a specialist in diagnosing dissociation to "rule out" (or confirm) the presence of DID. That is the route Bourbon has taken, going to the Pottergate Centre in Norwich. If there is DID, which seems likely given what you have posted, then treating dissociation as secondary to anxiety won't be helpful for you and may actually be worse than no treatment at all.

Good luck!

Thank you for your comments Una+. I think the psychiatrist(s) seem to be focusing on the
dissociative side of anxiety, as they keep mentioning it. I had not heard of the terminology until recently and when enquiring of it's meaning my psyche pointed me in the direction of this website which was extremely helpful : http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/dissociative_disorders
so they do seem to be quite aware of dissociative disorders in my county (luckily).

Having just re-read my opening post, I stated one of my symptoms as -

"my Wife says I have a changeable character with different people" ......

...what i meant was i behave differently around different people eg. she says i speak clearly
and use a much wider vocabulary around my Mother etc.
I hope this wasn't mis-leading.

middle-man wrote:i behave differently around different people eg. she says i speak clearly
and use a much wider vocabulary around my Mother etc.

Yes, we understand. Many people who don't have DID do that. The thing is, people who have DID sometimes behave differently and later have no memory of those times or their behavior.

Where many people get confused, including many mental health professionals, is that there are dissociative symptoms and dissociative disorders. Dissociative symptoms are present (of course) in dissociative disorders but also in many other, more familiar disorders. When a client has severe dissociative symptoms, ISSTD guidelines recommend a thorough diagnostic workup to check for dissociative disorders, but many mental health professionals do not know this. Consequently, many clients with dissociative disorders are misdiagnosed.

DID is a superordinate diagnosis, meaning when it is present it takes precedence over any other diagnosis and treatment should address the DID first.

Yay! Another UK person! No offence to everyone else I'm just a bit jealous of your therapists sometimes. It's nice to have people here who understand the lack of therapy in the UK NHS system.

Anyways middleman I had a social worker like that with diagnosis, which I kind of understood that attitude. But he was brilliant in pretty much every other way though, except for not believing I exist, which is a bit off when I talk to him all the time, but there you go. He died though, which was not so great. I need a new one soon, because they are all breaking Kerry with their expectations and we have nobody to phone when we want to die. The NHS is not so great at helping us is it.

I'm sorry you was in hospital. Was it helpful at all? I ask because I might end up there if I keep telling people I want to die.

At least they put Anxiety & Dissociation on your diagnosis. They are probably going to put Borderline Personality Disorder on mine. They may as well write lying angry manipulative attention-seeker, since that is how I'm being treated by people. It sucks. I'm none of those things & I'm the one with the BPD traits. I really hope they give you some proper help now you got a diagnosis.

Also congratulations on not being a druggie or an alkie any more. That must have been hard to live with and overcome, so well done you.

Chloe. X

How are things going Chloe? Are they still pushing that diagnosis on you? HAve they finished their "assessing"?

Bourbon

Una+ wrote:

middle-man wrote:i behave differently around different people eg. she says i speak clearly
and use a much wider vocabulary around my Mother etc.

Yes, we understand. Many people who don't have DID do that. The thing is, people who have DID sometimes behave differently and later have no memory of those times or their behavior.

Where many people get confused, including many mental health professionals, is that there are dissociative symptoms and dissociative disorders. Dissociative symptoms are present (of course) in dissociative disorders but also in many other, more familiar disorders. When a client has severe dissociative symptoms, ISSTD guidelines recommend a thorough diagnostic workup to check for dissociative disorders, but many mental health professionals do not know this. Consequently, many clients with dissociative disorders are misdiagnosed.

DID is a superordinate diagnosis, meaning when it is present it takes precedence over any other diagnosis and treatment should address the DID first.

I'm not sure I have no memory of these changes in my character, but I'd say my memory of them is sometimes vague or hazy, which happens quite a lot really.

Thanks for the info concerning dissociative disorders or dissociative symptoms, interesting.
I suppose I've ended up on this forum after having my Dx of "anxiety disorder manifesting as dissociative episodes" simply because although I experience some level of anxiety now and again, I don't seem to fit into any of the anxiety disorder groups and have not been told of such either. The dissociative side of my symptoms seems to feel much more about what I'm experiencing in the present and have in the past. I suppose once i'm back with my usual psychiatrist I may find out more, it's early days in terms of my diagnosis/treatment (7 weeks), so we shall see.

Thanks, Dave.

Kerry H wrote:I'm sorry you was in hospital. Was it helpful at all?

It was helpful in the respect that while i was there the doctors and staff could monitor my mood swings and behaviour 24/7, which I suppose resulted in me getting a basic diagnoses much faster than visiting my psychiatrist once a week. But psychiatric units are not pleasant places to be
staying in and can add to your symptoms through the stress of the situation.

I really hope they give you some proper help now you got a diagnosis...
Also congratulations on not being a druggie or an alkie any more. That must have been hard to live with and overcome, so well done you.

Thanks for your kind words.

Dave.

Dave, do you know exactly what "dissociative episodes" refers to? What episodes, exactly? Perhaps you did lose time. Many people with DID initially do not know they are losing time.

Una+ wrote:Dave, do you know exactly what "dissociative episodes" refers to? What episodes, exactly? Perhaps you did lose time. Many people with DID initially do not know they are losing time.

Yes, i can tell you of some symptoms from the last 7 weeks, as i've kept a diary for myself and
the psychiatrists to read also, which they said they have found useful.
It all started during, and immeadiately after i went through an alcohol detox on librium 7 weeks
ago, the psychiatrists think i may have been self-medicating for years as i have had delusions and heard voices on and off since my early 20's. Things have escalated considerably since i've been clean and sober though, with what i now realise is dissociation creeping in as well. (i'd never heard the term until the psychiatrists told me about it).

I will post a **trigger warning** here as i'm not sure if any of these below will be triggers
(as i'm not fully sure what is, being new here) but best to be safe.

Here are some of the more disscociative symptoms i've been getting recently:

-having times in public when suddenly my vision becomes crystal clear, my hearing is much
more sensitive and everything sounds twice as loud. I also get a strange feeling that i'm
seperate from everything around me and i'm seeing things as they really are, that is, the whole
thing feels like a hallucination, that nothing is real - this happens frequently.

-having racing thoughts where it's like someone is trying to tune in an old radio in with a dial,
really rapidly, and all you catch is static and snatches of dialogue, conversations or music.

-also having quite loud 'chatter' in my head, a bit like when several people are talking to you
at the same time, you can hear them talking but can't focus on one voice.

-i've recently had a conversation with a nice, soothing american lady in my head who told me her name was "Roxy". She asked me loads of questions about my dogs on our walk.
This happened before dissociation was ever mentioned to me and is probably the reason i ended up on here. I think we've spoken since, but i don't know if i'm imagining the voice myself.(if that
makes sense?). My memory of this day is extremely hazy and i really retreated into my own
world later on and was convinced nothing was real.

-I've had very sudden and impulsive, intrusive thoughts of suicide

-even today, i did some cleaning around the house and felt like i was a passenger in my own
mind and body, or as if i were wearing a really thick mask and my conscious was sitting at the back of my head.

I know there are more, but these are some i remember.

Dave.

You have a lot of company in the world, unfortunately. Self medication with alcohol is very common in older adults with DID, especially older men. DID expert Richard Kluft says a substantial minority of his older male clients were referred to him by a social worker who ran a support group for recovering alcoholics. Most of the memoirs written by men with DID mention heavy alcohol use.

The symptoms you describe include typical forms of depersonalization and derealization, and some hallmarks of DID: chatter, voices with names, voices that talk about what you are doing, passive influence (those suicidal urges), and co-presence (being a passenger in your body while an "other" cleans the house). All consistent with a diagnosis of DID. Did you have many blackouts? Possibly not all of them were due to alcohol. Do you remember any evidence of blackouts when you were not actually drinking?

I too have experienced inexplicable suicidal urges. They are really, really common in DID. I got way too close to actually carrying it out. Please develop a safety plan for yourself, because the urge can return when you least expect it, at least until your system stabilizes.