Where do alters live?

I'm really new to DID - well, maybe not "new" to it but at least new to understanding it and coming to terms with this might be what I have. Right now I'm so confused and I really don't understand what is going on.

I guess my question is, do your alters know where they live? Do they know what year it is? I am aware of at least one alter that is very confused about where she lives and what year it is. She is insistent that she still lives in my old childhood home with mom and dad. Is this normal? Is it possible to bring her to the year 2011?

Sorry if this is a stupid question. I'm just trying to figure this all out.

Welcome to the forum! I'm glad you posted. I hope you find this site to be helpful to you and that perhaps some of the confusion will clear. Feel free to post any questions, thoughts, or rants you have and are comfortable with posting! And again, welcome.

Most of my alters know what year it is, where they live, etc., but then again that's mainly due to the fact that we share time out in control and are often co-conscious with each other. However, there are 2 alters for sure that are confused about the time, and 1 alter that might not know about the time.

2 of my alters, a 17 yr old named Rebel and a 2 yr old named Lynn, definitely do not share my memories and time-line yet. Rebel still thinks is the summer of 2009, and every time she comes out she's very confused and tries to leave home. My best guess is she's trying to go back to my old apartment I had in 2009. She doesn't know who my current boyfriend is, she doesn't know how to drive, she doesn't know most of her friends aren't our friends anymore, and she doesn't know where she lives. However, she seems to share all of my memories up until summer of 2009.
My 2 yr old, Lynn, doesn't seem to share my memories either, not even my other little alter Cassie's memories. She thinks that we should still be at home with mom and dad, and is confused when she comes out and isn't at home. My boyfriend's been telling her that he's a babysitter, because she'll ask where her mom and dad are. Unfortunately, my mom's dead, so of course that would be a bit difficult to explain to a confused 2 yr old.

The other alter that might not know or care where I/he lives is "Hannibal". I'm sure he knows what year it is, but he doesn't consider himself to be a part of my body/mind, so I have no idea where he thinks he lives (or is supposed to live) or anything. He seems to share my memories, as he knows what happened in my life, but I know he doesn't see them as his own memories, so I have no idea what he makes of the whole situation.

As for bringing them up to date, right now I'm simply waiting for Rebel to be out long enough to process an explanation. It seems every time someone tries to prove something to her, like the fact that it's the year 2011, her face goes blank and she leaves and I come back out. I'm sure that with enough proof, easily understood explanations, time, and patience, I can figure out ways to slowly help her come to terms with the fact that she's 3 years behind. She'll definitely need to be treated gently and given plenty of comfort, so I have plans set up for that as well with trusted people.

With Lynn, she's so young I'm not sure she would be able to fully understand an explanation. And I doubt she could grasp the fact that dad moved away and mom's dead. So for now, I try to distract her from her questions. I offer her safety, love, care, comfort, everything that she could need to feel comfortable. Little kids need to feel safe and loved, and my hope is that with her needs met and people to play with her/look after her like my older alter Rain, she'll feel more at home and will accept the change of environment. It probably won't stop her from asking where mom and dad are, but I'm hoping it'll help her to not focus on the fact that mom and dad aren't here so that she can be happier where she is.

I'm not sure if any of this helped, but at least you know you are not alone in this. If I think of any more ideas to help bring your child part up to the year 2001, I'll certainly post them here. I wish you the best of luck with this. Remember to be patient and gentle with yourself.

Hmm, let's see. In general, most of our insiders know what year it is, etc.

There have been a few exceptions.

"Angel" is one of our newest insiders. She's a little girl, but she can't remember her name, age, or anything since 1998. Apparently, our dad threw us into the wall and we got a concussion--she never woke up from that until very recently.

And when Dragonfly first woke up, she wasn't so much confused by what year it was as knowing that we were safe and away from our parents. She wanted us to shut up and was almost a persec*tor in her quest to keep us safe from consequences of telling.

In general, we all know that this is 2011, we live in our aunt's apartment, etc. Of course, none of us want to live here, but that's another story.

Tomboy and Eisa,

Thank you so much for your reply! I have been hanging around this forum for awhile now but I have been terrified to post anything. Thank you for NOT calling me crazy or a lier - I do enough of that myself, I guess I just expect it from everyone else too.

My "alter" (I really hate that word but don't know what else to use) also doesn't seem to have a name or know her exact age. She seems to be around 8 or 9. Would it help if I gave her a name?

Okay, I need to take a break from writing, my insides are getting really anxious and don't like me talking on here. It seemed to be okay when I was just reading what other people wrote but they don't like me sharing my own stuff.

Welcome to the forum =) I am pretty sure none of us will call you a liar here!!!

And yes - why not give your little a name if she doesn't wnat to choose one for herself?

You don't have to use the term alter. There's plenty of words to choose from. Child part, teen part, adult part, family member (i often use the term inner family), little one/little/littles, use whatever you're comfortable with!

I'm sorry you get anxious as you're writing. Perhaps you can explain to your others that you're trying to seek help on here? Let them know that their privacy is still well-kept, and explain that you need help with things, and that you have to share some information to receive help. Assure them that you won't share all information though. Perhaps you can come to a compromise with what you can and cannot share.

And I agree with bourbon. I think it'd help to give her a name, but first let her see if she wants to pick it out herself or if she has a name but didn't tell your.

hi! *waves* i just wanted to say hi to you and your little! my name's cassie and i'm 8. here's a smiley face for your little. i know the world can be scary sumtimes so i hope she feels better soon.

My little alter, Cassie, has been kept inside and alone for a long time, so she loves this site and learning about others' littles. (She doesn't really understand DID, but she knows enough to grasp the basics).

You could use a Monitor to examine her actions and determine an action to be taken from that. Example: She doesn<t know the year or her place. Work something behind her back to make her believe her amnesia does that. She may be sceptic, but she may give in to it after a while.

Thanks everyone for your support. My insides have not been very happy the past few days. I think a lot of it has to do with the confusion everyone feels. I don't think anyone knows what is really going on. T has opened up a lot. However, I must say, I love the T I am with now. She is kind and patient and she knows a lot about trauma.

Last night while in T, my little told us she wants to be called Sam. When she is out I don't really remember what she does or what she says but I feel like I pick up on bits and pieces. I feel like Sam really likes our T, which makes me happy because I do too. I also get the feeling that she is very scared and confused but she feels safe with our T.

Cassie, thank you for saying hi to Sam. I am still learning how to communicate with my insides but I will do my best to tell her that you said Hi! In fact, I kind of get the feeling that she already knows and she likes you very much!

yay! *waves* now i can say "hi sam"! so, HI SAM! hehe. i'm glad she feels safe with your therepist. i hope she won't feel confused or scared for much longer. when she feels like that tell her to imagine a pair of invisable arms hugging her! (those are my arms!) *hugs if wanted*

Hi Nugget44. I see you have made a lot of progress in just a few days. To answer your question, yes some alters initially are very disoriented re the current situation "outside". But once you have good communication with them they quickly come up to speed. There may be a period of mourning for the life they remember and the lost years, and a further period of adjustment to their new life. Hang in there. You are in therapy and getting better, and your future life will be richer and fuller than you ever imagined.