New alter, new questions.

It's been a while, and a lot of things have been going on. I'll do a quick recap just for everyone to catch up.
C:

- Demi's 21st birthday
- The addition of Lani
- Moved out of my mothers house
- Got engaged to my boyfriend
- Depression came back with the finding out that the love of my life has a child that he never told me about
- The realization that there was ANOTHER alter inside.

So, yeah. A lot has happened. I'd like to talk about the new alter Blessed. Needless to say his presence is, yet again, not a surprise. I've had the feeling that there was someone else, but that they hadn't come out.
Blessed is quiet, yet you can feel a type of darkness coming out of him, like he's hiding something. He's yet to give his true age, or true name. The reason we call him Blessed is because of a song that he loves - Blessed With A Curse. Yet believe me, he is far from Blessed. I don't know how to explain it other then he can "control" the other alters. And I'm not talking about Lani or Ann, but Demi and Zach. I noticed it the other day.
I was hanging out with my boyfriend, and suddenly I heard Demi whisper, " he's not worth it, E. He doesn't understand you. He doesn't understand us." which is strange for Demi, because he was the first one to say he was cool with it. Demi was so out of control that Zach and I had to hold him down and force him in his room until he calmed down.
It worries me, because Demi is my protector. I'm concerned because, if he can take control of Demi and force him to say these things, I'm worried what he might do to the system as a whole,and yet, I can see good things about him too, which is why I don't want to be rid of him.
He knows so much. I can tell that he's holder then me, so I guess that might be a reason. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like there's something he's supposed to do.
I'm at a loss. I want to help him, I want him to stick around and be helpful, but I'm worried about what he's capable of. Any kind of help would be great. . . I think it might be because I need someone who understands to talk to.

-E

Blessed can blend with Demi? And to Demi it feels like he (she?) is being compelled to lie?

Una+ wrote:Blessed can blend with Demi? And to Demi it feels like he (she?) is being compelled to lie?

In a nutshell, yes. I'm worried, because Demi ( he ) is the strongest out of us.

-E

Hi E. I read your post and found myself being able to identify with it through similar situations.

I'm new to this forum. I was doing D.I.D research and stumbled upon this site. My name is Cassandra, and I'm 20 years old. People often call me Sandra for short. There are 6 others, being my "multiples", that have surfaced over the years and that I have learned to live with as well as control/moderate, at least to the best of my abilities.

Among the multiples I'm able to communicate with and for the most part moderate peacefully, there is one that causes trouble and is out of my control. He has not named himself, and has been hidden for a few years, preferring to act through a different multiple of mine by abusing her and forcing her to do his will. For his cruel tendencies, his apathetic nature, his lack of emotion in even his voice, and his habit of biting, my boyfriend and I have nicknamed him "Hannibal", after Hannibal Lecter in movies such as silence of the lambs.

He prefers to stay as hidden as possible, and as I said before used to abuse another multiple of mine into doing what he wanted. For a couple years, this multiple became abusive and violent towards me, and while some of it was her doing, most of the self-harm and abuse originated from "Hannibal". He would wait until she was in control, and abuse her, verbally and physically. He doesn't see his actions as self-harm because he doesn't see himself as being a part of me/a host, unlike my other multiples. He's able to take control when he wants to, and I'll have memory lapses when he's out. With my other multiples, I can usually control the degree of control they have when they're out. I'm also able to look through their memories and see what experiences they had while in control, so I'm never left out. "Hannibal" does not let me do this. I have no control over what he does, unlike my other multiples, and he enjoys causing trouble for me, my multiples, and my boyfriend by making him worry.

Currently, the multiple he used to abuse has taken it upon herself to try and protect the other multiples and well as myself from him, but he is more powerful that she is and often wins. So far I've had to simply cope with what happens and do what I can to react to his actions, though I am seeking therapy to see if there's anything else I can do about him. I like my other multiples and they still serve a purpose to me, but this "Hannibal" only causes trouble. Needless to say, I understand where you're coming from and what you're now dealing with. Feel free to respond if you just need someone to talk to. Hopefully yours only sticks to lies and whispers.

~Sandra
~Kat, Rain, L.C., Cassie, Ray

tomboy24 wrote:Hopefully yours only sticks to lies and whispers.

~Sandra

I hope so too. Thank you for sharing your story. C: I know how hard it is to open up.


Just an update for everyone else. Demi's been locked in his room all day, but we can hear him yelling and screaming to get out. It's upsetting Ann so much. I hate seeing her like this.

- E