BLENDING...

Demon Lilith wrote:Hiya. I'm RAGE, 16 year old host. I'm what our system calls a 'skin'. Basically, unless the core comes out herself, I'm always there to provide a sheild between her and the world. I'm an alter in my own right, don't get me wrong. Katherine and I are pretty different. I'm more mature, more socially out-going,braver, more hyper. Most of the time, though, we're blended. She sits directly behind me. She can't always hear all my thoughts or anything, but she can feel most of my emotions, she feels like she is me (or, if we need to take on her name, vice versa), we both feel like we're the one moving the body.

It's interesting, because this alter took on the name Rage too. She sometimes goes by R, and she sometimes goes by Rage. When I first discovered her, she just went by the body's name (my name), but we both decided it would be best for her to pick her own name so that we can differentiate between us. I am starting to think that R is right behind me most of the time too. I was never aware of this until recently. Sometimes she keeps pretty quite, and mostly I don't even know she's there. But I feel all her emotions whenever she feels them. When we're "blended", it's hard to differentiate between what "I" do and what "she" does, because we mostly feel like the same person (like what you are describing).

Demon Lilith wrote:Sure, I was still pretty angry, but once I was calmed down, I remained pretty calm unless we blended again. Then, we felt like the same person. While blended, you don't even realize you are a seperate person. It was a bit unnerving.

YES! This is exactly it. You don't even realize you are a separate person. I think that's what freaked me out so bad, because I couldn't feel separate! I had no sense of myself separate from her, and couldn't differentiate between her thoughts and my thoughts (although it was pretty easy to figure out which was which), between her feelings and my feelings. I had never felt that way before (that I was conscious of) and it freaked the heck out of me! I'm so glad you have experiences that are similar to mine. This helps make me feel a lot better.

brandic wrote:It's interesting, because this alter took on the name Rage too. She sometimes goes by R, and she sometimes goes by Rage. When I first discovered her, she just went by the body's name (my name), but we both decided it would be best for her to pick her own name so that we can differentiate between us. I am starting to think that R is right behind me most of the time too. I was never aware of this until recently. Sometimes she keeps pretty quite, and mostly I don't even know she's there. But I feel all her emotions whenever she feels them. When we're "blended", it's hard to differentiate between what "I" do and what "she" does, because we mostly feel like the same person (like what you are describing).

Oh, wow! Really? That's cool. From your signature, it looks like she even spells it in all caps like I do.
That's certainly possible. That really does seem like what happened with Katherine and I. Before we knew we were DID, the only time I was seperate from her was to handle blinding anger. The rest of the time, we were pretty much the same.
Yeah, exactly!

brandic wrote:YES! This is exactly it. You don't even realize you are a separate person. I think that's what freaked me out so bad, because I couldn't feel separate! I had no sense of myself separate from her, and couldn't differentiate between her thoughts and my thoughts (although it was pretty easy to figure out which was which), between her feelings and my feelings. I had never felt that way before (that I was conscious of) and it freaked the heck out of me! I'm so glad you have experiences that are similar to mine. This helps make me feel a lot better.

Yeah, exactly! It makes you feel entirely and completely together with them, and it really screws up your sense of self. You know you shouldn't be feeling like that, or thinking that, or doing that, but while with them, it all feels natural because it's normal for them. Even once you seperate, it still messes with your sense of self for a while.

I'm glad we could help.
~RAGE

I need a fairly current reference for the term blending for this page. Can anyone help me out with this? I am pulling blanks both in all the books I have and online.


Blending.
http://www.dissociative-identity-disord ... ology.html

Another question about terminology and DID.

I cannot find anything about front or fronting. Does anyone know anywhere it is used that can be referenced?