Alters get panic attacks (***May trigger***)

Hi Aecy!

Hahhah! Our host isn't doing so gracefully at times but she's tough one and can handle things after she has let some panic-steam out. She's a brave girl. (My, thank you so much! ^^)

Heheh, malice seems like a nice dude. But we don't put anything behind us because...well because! I'm not going to tell you... xD It's a secret! Shhh!

We're co-conscious right now. I keep my eye on him and he does the writing.

But aren't all hosts freaking out because of their DID? Hah! It's part of the illness. You just gotta go through the panic and keep walking. It gets worse at times but at times things go fluently and better. It's like an on-off roller coaster! Hahhah!

I agree on the latter part. Thank you for your message and I hope that you're doing good too! ^^

I know how hard that is on a host. Boy do I know. D:

I'm glad. Though any host has to be tough; how else could they manage to keep things together with minds and hearts as uniquely chaotic as ours? I have the utmost respect for hosts; I know I wouldn't wish for that position myself. I wish her well.

Malice is, indeed, nice, though she's female. Though do attempt to avoid getting on her bad side; she was once an internal persecutor, even if she has transitioned into a rather valuable force for good, as they may say.

Hmmm. Putting the past behind you does not mean forgetting it, or its lessons. It simply means remembering that it is in the past and not the present. The past is over, the present is here, and that things may always be different. That, and you cannot change the past or make it better by dwelling on it past a certain point. Learning to work towards the future, even if there seems to be no future ahead but darkness, is better.

But I digress, as usual. I agree. Most of dealing with DID in our experience is simply trial and error, finding new solutions to old problems. Fall, get up, try again, whether one has hope or not, have a good day, have a bad day, feel like crying because you want the good day back, but keep walking and eventually the good days get better and the worse days get less severe.

If it helps, [which it may or may not, being different people and whatnot,] another of malice's sayings is "Accept that the worst may happen, be willing to face it, but hope for the best. Then, prepare for and expect something inbetween." Feel free to disregard it if it doesn't "click" with you, as they say.

*Big trigger warning!*





One of my alters is having a flashback/panic attack again. :/

She sees very scary flashes of images and animated memories of some sort. I don't want to go too deep with the description since they're pretty messed up stuff!

Argh. Hi. My name's 17. Yeah, it's a number...get over it. Sorry. I'm just freaking out... I see these...things. I really don't want to look into mirror either! There's something in there that isn't supposed to be there... I'm sorry if I cause anxiety to some readers...heh. I'm kinda super anxious myself right now! Those creatures just keep jumping on my face! F**k! I want it to stop...I'm going completely crazy!

She should feel better within an hour or so. These flashbacks don't last long. :/ Z is taking care of her now.

These never stop...they just keep going! F**K this all!
They do stop! Just try to stay calm, It'll be okay soon. Be patient. You're not alone.

It's not easy to help my alters when their panic is roaming around. Especially if the alter happens to get a bit aggressive during the panic...! She's trying to attack the images now.

F**k! I need to help Z...

Yeah, this is my everyday/night life...! S**t!

You're damnedly strong, then. Congrats for keeping that up. ._.;
We've had some major issues of the sort, but it was better by degrees. Most of our crap was emotional/psychological/neglect.

Hmm. Another idea is a "bouncy/slippery/fluid shield". Whenever things go after you, the shield sloshes around and can repel them. The shield has to be trusted as invulnerable, because if you don't trust the shield and hold it strong and elasticy against the attacking phantom, the phantom can break through. Once again, different people, different methods, though. If there is any way to help you feel like you are safe, phantoms or no phantoms, that'll help.

[We had to consider a looming, giant skeletal shikigami spectral following us around for weeks a "normal" part of everyday life, while in college no less.]

But either way, you're not alone! D: Lots of people deal with this. I'm sorry you guys have to go through it but it'll be ok. Just keep at it!