Falling in Love & DID

Yep, he thought it was all too messed up so therefore didn't wanna hear it, and pretended it never happened!
I hope you do manage to find a proper love who accepts you for who you are I'm sure we will both get it one day! (And your golden retriever )

i've only been in one semi-serious relationship. it's too hard for me. got too many boundary issues and other problems so I mostly give up on having anyone. I like my solitude anyhow and i stay occupied. it's lonely yeah but I do ok.

Well, I don't know if "forced" is the right word. More like convinced whoever was in front to force their way through to try to get at what was hidden. It was VERY bad for a long while after that first boundary breach; before then everything seemed to work fairly well when any awareness of there being more than one entity could easily be denied and pushed away/hidden, especially since I thought everyone was like this.

I'm not just being optimistic, though. I'm immensely fortunate, all things told. When I left, things were getting increasingly bad and getting closer and closer to the situation my older sister was in that caused our first major split. [That we remember. ]
The upset in power let the parts that could and would get us out get enough of a hold to do that for us. Without that, I don't even want to think of how much worse I could possibly have gotten, or what I would have ended up like, or what would have happened, being stuck there with them. And what's more, the whole thing motivates us. Everyone remembers the war. No one wants to go back to that. Everyone agrees that if it means never going back to that, we're willing to do anything that needs to be done to get better. So it ultimately brought about good results, even if it wasn't a good thing at the time.

Thank you. ^ ^ It's hard sometimes, but I can never seem to feel sorry for myself very long, because whenever I am, especially nowadays when things have calmed down, I just remember how bad it could be, how bad, by all rights, it should be, and how good it is compared to where I've been and I just can't help but be thankful.
Well, that, and Alice would never tolerate self-pity or counterproductive stuff for very long. xD

I wish you luck in finding someone of your own. :] It can be hard sometimes, but there are a lot of little things to watch for that can tell you how a person will take such news. Go slow, too. But like a lot of people say, it can be done. ^ ^ And I tend to think it's that much more special when you know the person is willing to love you and support you with all this stuff, you know? Takes a special person, and that special person is willing to be yours.

Rejection is painful, but far less painful when it comes early in a relationship. I can recommend some books about being your authentic self.

Brad Blanton, Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth
Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

As for someone who doesn't have DID, how do you deal with being romantically and physically involved with the "host" ((haha minerva doesn't like that word...)) but anyways would i treat his/her alters like sister and brother-in-laws? What would happen if another alter surfaces and wants to be physical with me. If you don't realize it would that cause issues?

Love is way overrated.

I stick with casual sex. Don't need females crowding me.

I met this chick about six months ago at some bar and we got high and you know. I'm careful of course. Gotta protect the body.

Jake: Well, I wish you luck with telling her! I hope it all goes well ^^ I would brace myself for questions, but other than that, I hope

it goes well and everything works out. I never know what to expect either, but I'm sure the more people post in this thread, the better idea we can get from the range of reactions different people get when they tell others. Good luck again

Phoenixrise: Wow, that is interesting to know too (since my ex had DID as well, I kind of know what that's like...but we were never married, so I dunno what THAT's like XD). It's good that he knew about it before you started dating. I'm glad you both took it well, that's good to hear ^^

I can imagine it getting pretty intense if you both have DID, but it's good to hear that you can sense when you both need to ground yourselves; that's always a good thing to notice.

Congrats on your first child! That's always exciting. It's good that you're preparing all of them in that way; I wouldn't have a clue how to explain to some of my alters about child-rearing or anything XD

Yeah, I know I need therapy too, but not for my DID. Just about my life in general, my overanalyzation of certain things and my compulsions...but it's good to know when people need it. I'm just glad I know I need and that I'm taking care of it. (Unlike my parents telling me I needed therapy but they won't do anything about it).

Carpediem46: I can't believe he thought it was "messed up" and ignored the situation. XD ~gets rubber mallet~ Here ya go >< And I hope the same for you too! Haha. Yes, and a puppy. Puppies make everything better.

Persona X: I see :/ Well I am sorry about the difficulty of relationships; but you have to do what's right for you and do the things that keep you happy! We don't always have to "fit the mold of society" so they say.

Aecy: Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying that XD

It's always good to hear when bad situations bring about good results in the end; we've often hit situations like that. They seem terrible at first, but (hooray for another cliche) "what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger" and all that jazz.

Huzzah! Good for you, for looking on the bright side. That's always good to hear Yeah, I [we] all try to be as positive as possible. I'm often told by a lot of people that I'm just uber-friendly and am trustworthy, like, immediately when they meet me in person and I always seem so happy lol I try to be positive too but I don't try to fake happiness as sometimes I worry I come off that way ^^;; I'm just so flippin' hyper sometimes a lot of people wouldn't have the slightest idea what was going on in my head.

Thank you for that! Yeah, I couldn't have said that better myself. The few and far between people who can handle all this and still love and care for the person are a special bunch, indeed.

Una+: Oh, thanks! I will add these to my neverending reading list, lol ^_^

Jsilver: Actually, this is something (complicated) that happened with me and my ex. She only knew of Bernadette and Bridgitte at the time. Minerva was kinda inactive, on a back burner somewhere, at this point. She and Bernadette were friends, but after Bridgitte went off to where she did - she and Bernadette kind of...got intimate. It's kinda hard for me to talk about, but it was not discussed with me first, so it was kind of the beginning of the end. This kind of thing, I think, should be discussed when the people start dating and write up an agreement with the alters about how the relationship with the other person will be; that kind of thing to avoid any painful issues.

Persona X (again lol): Someone suggested this to me once, but I don't think I could handle that, emotionally. I'm kinda sensitive about that kind of stuff, so I'd just feel like an a**hole if I did that. Especially in my situation, whether it be a guy or girl, I'd feel like a royal ***** even if that other person didn't particularly care because I would just worry about it too much XD

I'm still with no diagnosis but this is an interesting topic. I haven't fallen in love since 2006, which is the same year I became conscious of R.

Yeah, I like to see all the different stories.

It gives me hope for the future XD


Also, my ex who had DID, informed Tucker today that it was difficult to deal with someone with such an "intense case" of DID when dating them.

Whut? XD ~headdesk~ And that was where the conversation kind of died.

Or a real mallet
And puppies do make everything better I have one myself hehe.