Taking Memories Away..?

This may be an odd question, but... if the host experiences something that he/she is not dealing well with, can someone take that memory away from him/her? If that is possible, can someone try to explain how to do it?

If the host was not the original one to experience the event (ie if the host has been given the experience of the event by one of the others after it happened) then yes, the others can take that memory away from her if she's not dealing well. She needs to ask the others to do this and they really need to think that it is in everyones benefit to do this (because often they have given her the memory because they think that overall it will help everyone, even though they know that she will find it hard to deal with).

If the host was the original one to experience the event, then no, I don't think that memory could be taken away from her. But we wouldn't ever put our host in that situation where at least someone else wasn't co-present so that not all of the bad details could get through to her. In that case she could ask for the bad details to be taken away, but again they would have to really be convinced that it was in everyone's best interests for the memory to be taken away. We generally only let the bad memories be experienced by the host if it is important to do so and we think that she will be strong enough to deal with it. So perhaps they think that you are in a good enough place to handle some stuff at the moment... I know you might want it to go away at the moment, but you are a very strong person who has been through a lot and you will be able to make it through this too...

Sending you lots of strength and support...

Take good care. X

Yes, this is how DID works. Alters are created during or after a novel traumatic event, and they take away with them the painful memory of the event. My alter Teen Girl was a fragment containing the emotional pain of being discarded by my first love.

Thanks, salted lipstick. The question wasn't about me... forgot to include that. Remind me not to post on so little sleep

salted lipstick wrote:In that case she could ask for the bad details to be taken away, but again they would have to really be convinced that it was in everyone's best interests for the memory to be taken away.

It's actually an alter who thinks it would be better if the host did not have that memory.

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Una+ wrote:Yes, this is how DID works.

Yeah, I know. I meant if the host already has the memory

canolime wrote:I meant if the host already has the memory

I have not had this experience myself (as far as I can remember), but it is described repeatedly in When Rabbit Howls.

My psych has said to me that once i remember something i cannot unremember it. No putting it back in the box. He might not be right but he usually is.

Rosie et al.

Well, things might be slightly different for us. But our subsystem, Control Group A, is able to steal memories they don't want us to have. Even if they can't take it, they use other methods to distract us or blur the memory, at the very least taking away it's meaning or the emotions behind it. They've done if to both the host and me (the core) many, many times.

What Lilith said, in my case, is true as far as I can tell, though it might just be a feature of co-consciousness.

We tend to be able to "fence off" memories, though it's usually better to try to help the one dealing with them to deal with them right away, because once it has been pushed off and repressed, it's way hard to try to recall it and deal with the crap from whatever it is later on. But yeah, if we wanted to forget something back when we were doing that, we would push it away and put up an internal mental wall around it so that when we get close to "touching" it, we're turned aside, we just don't do it anymore because it seems to be a short-term gain, major long-term loss.

Nothing sucks worse than having major issues and not being able to really understand exactly what caused them. I have a lot of trouble with that because of how thoroughly I repressed and shoved aside memories of my ex, for instance, and to this day it leaves a lot of room for doubt and confusion on the subject because of the lack of information because we remember more impressions instead of actual information, and it's really hard and kinda painful to try to get to actual memories.

As far as I know from my fiance this is not possible. However if at the time of the event an alter was co-conscious with the Core and took over at some point, the alter may be able to block that memory to a certain extent (depending on how strong said alter is). I know for a certainty that one of my fiance's alters at one point did. It doesn't mean that the memory is completely gone. If something happens and the Core remembers only a second of that memory, it is no longer possible for the alter to completely block that memory as it is the Core's memory as well. It's very complicated and my fiance's T has said it is actually impossible. I do however believe my fiance (all the alters are my fiances as well) when she says she did take that memory away. As far as the Core goes she says she doesn't remember. I hope it makes a little sense what I just wrote.

My apologies!

I have found a lot of what I have "recovered" so far is details and affect of memories that I knew about, but in a purely detached sort of way that meant they almost never came up. I contrast this to some sensory/flashback type memories that I don't know if they're true, because I have no sense of EVER having remembered them or any context for them. In my experience, even though I am now aware of the details/affect that accompanied those events that I never truly "forgot" (and have retrieved some extra sensory data for them as well), I am not always overwhelmed with that input when I think of them. Sometimes, I can just go back to, for one very triggering example during my teens, the list of things that happened, without the flashback like snapshots, sounds, body memories and affect. I can shrug it off and think I must have been exaggerating a few months ago when I thought I cared about it. Then, sometimes I will get triggered into re-experiencing it again. So, even though that information was given to the host, I assume, it wasn't fully integrated and isn't "contained" within me yet. That is my guess, being new to the lingo. It's like I saw a mysterious box on my shelf, grabbed it, opened it and interacted with an object inside, got overwhelmed and put the object back, sealed it and put it back on the shelf for now. I remember having interacted with that object, and how it made me feel at the time, but it still feels like just some thing that showed up in my house, not something that "belongs" to me. So, I guess I'm saying, I still remember the experience of recalling the abuse in question, but I don't clearly remember the abuse the way I did when the box was open. It has turned back into "information" until I am ready to deal with it, I think. Does that make any sense?

I have a related question: for (potential) memories that are nearly all sensory (images, sounds, sensations, emotions), but no narrative story around exactly when or how those things might have happened...do they tend to get cleared up? Do you ever get more information on what happened or do they just fade and become unimportant? I have one that has been freaking me out on and off for months, giving me nightmares, intrusive flashback-like experiences, interfering with my relationship with my husband...but I still can't say anything beyond, "Obviously, this guy made me very scared," because it is like a single moment of time trapped in a bubble that pops when I try to examine it.