My Sister Thinks I am Faking DID

jsilver wrote:Rini,

What can i say. Your parents are jerkfaces. :\ You should hijack that chick from youtube's Anastasia jewelry and sell it to afford therapy... Thats all i could think to say...

Jsilver

Heh, yep. C'est la vie, is what I'd usually say, but...it's not. I just know I'll come out of this stronger, and one day, when I have children, I'll know exactly how NOT to raise them XD
Luckily, I make decent money from my job. Which is why I could support myself two years prior to now but I was wearing thin on patience with my school and my situation, which is I guess why I gave in to go home. So, I'll be able to do it, but I also have to pay for school, so it looks like my plan on saving anything this summer is kinda...jacked XD But, eh ~shrugs~ I'll deal. I work tonight, 8pm-2am. Yay student security. But at least I'll be outta the house ><

~Rini

I hope you all manage to make therapy happen how ever you can...

If they can't i'll drop my major and become a therapist for them

I'm going through the same thing, only without the attacks. I tried to get treatment last fall and ended up being referred, but I had no job, so I had to get the money from my sister. [I live with my sister and her family, now that I got the nerve to move out of my parent's house, because she understands what our family is like and was happy to take me in and get me away. ]

When I told her the first time, the was understanding and accepting and it went well, but later she decided that I hadn't "figured out who I was yet." And when I said I was going to go to someone else, she said "For what you think you have...?"

Needless to say, after hearing that, I dropped the matter and said nothing more to her. There was no way I was going to cause waves and try to pursue treatment from the specialist who had experience with DID at that point. If she wants to believe that, I didn't want to make an issue of it, so I just dropped the subject and never mentioned it again to her.

It hurts a lot, more so because I know she doesn't mean anything bad by it, I think she's just afraid to the truth. It's scary, considering your sister as more than one person, especially if you have a trauma history that's less dramatic than theirs, like me. She had it worse, but there is only one of her.

That, and I don't really show many different faces to them. Out of habit, I usually only show one or two selves to them. I'm not dramatic in real life; I don't like causing awkwardness and I fear confrontation, so I don't make it obvious or let it show on the outside. I can relate to the doubt, too. I spent most of my late teen years fighting with internal voices and forces, telling myself it was all for attention and that it wasn't real, that I was making it up. I'd force it back, find a way to hide it all, pretend it wasn't there, and make it work.

Let your own experiences be your guide. Did you have it before knowing about DID? Did you struggle with it on your own without knowing what it was? Do you function better and work things out more effectively if you treat yourself as selves and respect each individual self as its own person? Try to be understanding of her, and if you can avoid the issue, I would, especially if she's lashing out at you over it. Focus on trying to make peace and increase cooperation and understanding between your alters.

And, if all else fails, maybe it'll help you to take Alice's approach. Consider the consequences if you're right vs. if you're wrong. What's the worst that can happen if you're wrong and you don't have it? Then you haven't made anything worse by trying to address it. And if you're right? Well, then, there is very little worse for you than trying to deny reality instead of dealing with it and improving things. Therefore, it's better to act as if it's correct and get help accordingly, because the consequences of being wrong are less severe than the consequences of being right and denying it.

Hopefully that helped. ^_^;

Salted Lipstick: Thank you...we all hope we can go too XD I got a call from my therapist again, and we made an appointment - it's not until the beginning of July but when I told J, he said he could continue to be my "stand-in" therapist. Honestly, today, I think I'm going to get biking directions to the place, memorize it, and figure out how long it'd take to bike there and back and the best routes to do so. I used to bike in my college town, so being here and bikin' ain't much different. An I like the outdoors so if Rin don wanna ride all that way, I'd be happy ta do it.

Jsilver: Lol, thanks ^_^ Haha, that is much appreciated

Aecy: I understand that whole not living with your family thing...my family is a bunch of...I dunno what. And it's not so much that I'm TRYING to hide it or try to only "show a few faces" it just happens that my triggers are much more intense and frequent now that I'm sharing a house with four other people who...1. Don't understand this, 2. Don't TRY to understand this and 3. Don't understand that their actions/words sometimes trigger me.

I went through a period of denial as well, 2 years ago, after Bernadette finally revealed herself to someone. I straight up told the person she was just a character I made up to get me through high school (Bernadette: ~facepalm~) And I overanalyze EVERYTHING so when someone accuses me of doing something, I sit there and think..."Am I?"

And yeah, I did have it before I knew about DID (as I mentioned in a previous post) I used to talk to myself, and someone would talk back, but I always just thought it was my own brain thinking things back to me but I never realized they were alters. I talked to them from before high school until now. It helped more than hindered me, because that's what my system was there to do. I didn't even know it had a NAME nor that other people had the same thing until this past year (except for my ex). So, I'm *pretty* sure there is no doubt at this point. Especially when you have alters going "Hey moron, I'm right here". I don't think consequences if I'm "right" or "wrong" are quite relevant.

Sorry for the long-windedness. ^_^;

I'm sorry about that. I'd hate to have to be back in that situation again, I mean, I have enough trouble trying to re-write my "faulty programming" as it is, without being back with those people. All but one or two aren't "acceptable" to my parents and so had to "go away", so hiding the others has always been my default I guess.

I wish there were a way to help your family deal with it better.

I have the same issue. I'm absolutely sure at this point, but sometimes, like recently, Vie has a total self-doubt freakout despite it all. Everyone tells me I overthink stuff. xD; I can MAJORLY relate. So at least you're not alone in that, even if I don't know a better way to help. ^_^;

This is true; it's one of the reasons I decided to join & post here - because I feel less alone in my situation now.

Time to go get them bikin' directions

Doesn't it make you feel soooo much less worried about being wrong when you can compare your experiences with other people and see that they're the same after all? So much of the top links on google about DID just left me feeling that much more like I was making it up or something. D:

But then I found the DID sourcebook by Deborah Haddock [sp?] and read it, and it suggested finding online resources like this.

And I found it and I was like "OH EM EFF GEE I'M NORMAL!!!!! [in a sense] ~PROCEEDS TO HAVE HAPPYFREAKOUT OF ULTIMATE DOOM~ [then overdoes it and disappears for a while, heh. >.>;;;;; ]
So yah. x] It sucks, but it's nice to know that at least there are other people who CAN relate, yah know? ._.; Yah talk to a normal person and they just don't really get it. >.>; It gets uuuuber awkward sometimes. DX Grargh. I hate that. >:T

Anyhow. Either way, hopefully things are going ok-ishly for you all, being at home with all that idiocy and derpiness and denial and all that sort of garbage. D:

You guys definitely deserve some cookies, or ice cream, or beef jerky. [Violet LOVES beef jerky. x3 ]
Or maybe just some time by yourself at a nearby park, curled up beneath a tree or a bush with an awesome book. ^ ^

Aecy wrote:You guys definitely deserve some cookies, or ice cream, or beef jerky. [Violet LOVES beef jerky. x3 ]
Or maybe just some time by yourself at a nearby park, curled up beneath a tree or a bush with an awesome book. ^ ^

Actually, Rini is working on a new novella (fantasy) and a screenplay (about D.I.D.~!) so that's how she escapes.

Yeah, it is nice to find other people who have similar situations. I've got to get on reading that book. I've heard many people talking about it.

RebekahRin wrote:
Yeah, it is nice to find other people who have similar situations. I've got to get on reading that book. I've heard many people talking about it.

I cried a couple times reading it because I was so happy that it was so fitting for me that I could be absolutely sure of things. For the first time in my life I knew what was wrong and how I worked and it was just such a relief to know for sure that yah.

And I pretty much never cry. ^ ^; So that was a really big deal. I don't remember the actual book much, just the impression it gave me, but I'd definitely recommend it. :3