Advice please? possible trigger maybe

I really don't know what to do about Nicki 3..for the most part she is always really sad and wanting to cry and feels unloved..I try to comfort her I really don't know what to do..I don't know how to make her feel better I tell her that we all love her and that nothing can hurt her but she still holds on to the sadness like she can't let go..does anyone know what I can say to make her feel better?

I have no clue if this made any sense but if it didn't just let me know and I can try and make it make more sense...

Hmm maybe it would help to like include her in something with you? Or maybe with everyone, depending on how your system works. I'm almost always either empty feeling or very depressed, and at times suicidal (with no real threat of doing it) and I know how Nicki 3 must feel. It's really lonely and overwhelming to feel that sad, but what seems to cheer me up is to be included in something. Like we can all draw or listen to music and sing out the words or something. It's not always helpful if I am really feeling that low, but anything helps.

How old is she also? The age of someone who needs to be taken care of like this really does matter sometimes too. If she is fairly young, maybe toys or special foods could help, but if she is in her teens maybe a more angsty outlet could release that sadness? If she is in her 20's and up she would probably like going out to a special place and getting to be around loving people/friends could cheer her up, but that could also help the other age groups too. There are lots of different things that you could try .

She is between 11 and 13 ish

when she is really bad she does like to cut and is somewhat suicidal...she is at the surface right now. I am fairly knew to this so what do you mean by doing something with me? all of us are co-conscious/co-present of each other

Ohh okay I think I can help. I'm 16 (and 6 months) so I guess for her age you would probably want to be a little more adult about everything, but nothing too mature. Probably no baby-talk like you would with say a 6 year old . But do keep reassuring her that she is loved and safe now, and nothing will hurt her if she starts to feel comfortable. She probably has really deep-rooted trust issues.

Well we like to do tasks together sometimes. Like, when our little one Emily is really sad we will let her be close to the front and the Body will do something fun with her around. Like coloring or playing with her little brother (running around in a game or something). That cheers her up. For me, I like to be out for a long time when I do come out, but if I'm depressed and emotional and I'm not out Katie will have me close by and we'll listen to music or she'll let me write down how I feel and all that. It's kind of like how you would "hang out" with somebody on the outside, but it's with somebody on the inside. There are tons of things you could do like have her be near by and paint something crazy, or let her paint if she wants, and just get messy with it. It's more about enticing her to "let go" of what she's feeling and eventually join in or take over the task and get involved with something.

The goal is to distract her from her fears and sadness long enough for her to put the thought out of her head and focus on something positive .

I am in a very good mood right now well kinda..a lot better not feeling like crying to much. I am listening to Ozzy Osbourne I love him. I do get thinking about if people care about me and then everything happens and I start breaking down. then I usually hug a stuffed animal or family member. hugs seem to work for me.

nickip212 wrote:I am in a very good mood right now well kinda..a lot better not feeling like crying to much. I am listening to Ozzy Osbourne I love him. I do get thinking about if people care about me and then everything happens and I start breaking down. then I usually hug a stuffed animal or family member. hugs seem to work for me.

I'm listening to Ozzy too! "Let It Die" has been my latest obsession. I'm happy to hear that you are in a better mood. I wish I could send a hug your way! Everyone around you must love you very much to worry about how to help you feel better. If you ever start to forget that reach out to one of them and grab a hug. They'll remind you how special you really are .Times do get tough and things can feel very hard to handle, but it'll go away soon enough, and you'll still be left with all the people who love you and not what is bothering you anymore.

I told Nicki 3 that she could hang out with me and she has basically been by my side all day..we have both been rocking out to Ozzy and Otep. I learned that she is mini goth metal rocker like me except she actually likes to dress the part too hahaha she is a lot like me in a many ways a little bit more extreme on certain things but stil very much like me. she finally opened up to me and I am so happy she did that.

I think thats what I have to do for everyone is to let each of them hang out with me just one on one with me so they can open up.

I think that there's someone in here who is similar to Nicky 3 and Katariina's Rossy, although I'm not quite sure who it is. I feel his or her presence sometimes, and they just seem to have this constant, crushing depression. I'm not quite sure if it's Francis, my little who I believe I've identified (and has shown himself to my SO, even though she wasn't aware of it). He seems to have a lot of fear and insecurity, but I don't think this awful depression is his; I think it belongs to one of the ones who I haven't yet identified. As usual with my comments, I don't really know how to fix it, I haven't gotten that far yet, but I think I know what you mean.

We're happy to hear that! Rossy, Jack and I all love Otep and Ozzy and that sounds like a nice time listening to music together . I'm especially happy to hear that Nicki 3 is much happier and that you all have grown closer together. It's just the beginning .

Nicki 3 is much happier and that you all have grown closer together

Well I don't quite know what exactly happened but Nicki 3 is back to being sad again...but things don't change over night right?

I asked her why she was so sad and she said that she just needs time...she just needs encouragement right? Re-assurance?