Advice? Wondering if anyone's been through the same thing..

Oh, thank god. So we won't just disapear? That's what it sounded like as being said. But that's good to know. I don't want to leave.
~RAGE

Demon Lilith wrote:So we won't just disapear?

No, that shouldn't happen From what I've heard, it has to be something that the alter wants or agrees to.

Montyone - was that supposed to be a seperate post? :S not trying to be rude, just didn't seem related to my OP that's all, and it triggered me quite badly cos i didn't expect it..

I'm just going to address this to all of you, because people are saying similar things. I'm not ready to integrate, it's not what I want. I think my T didn't suggest we should integrate, it was more like saying it would happen as I heal. I understand what you’re saying broken_mirror, it’s just that I don’t want us all to blend, I love the fact we’re all different, it’s hard for me to accept . I feel the same as you RAGE, I don’t want my alters to blend or ‘die’ we are separate people, we all need eachother.

Thank you so much for all your advice, sorry I took a while to reply!
K

I wonder how you can 'kill' a part of you when it becomes part of you? The way I understand it is... the only difference is that you will have to own their behaviours and thoughts and feelings at yours.

Thats of course just my opinoin

I don't want us to blend is what I mean, I see us as different people and therefore eliminating them or 'integrating' would be like doing that for me, when we are all completely different.

I can hear what you are saying. I guess if you like living life like this and you are happy then why not.

It's just that while their traits will still be there, they won't. Besides, for us alters, it's a very creepy idea, since theoretically, we're the ones who stand to lose the most. At least the main person will still be acknoledged after integration, while we'll just be a distant memory.

But thanks for being understanding about it. Some people really try to push it, and it's kinda creepy.

~RAGE

Demon Lilith wrote:It's just that while their traits will still be there, they won't.

Thank you. I think when someone tries to talk someone into integrating, they miss the point. It will only be a part of the alter there... that separate person will no longer be there. And that's absolutely fine, if that's what everyone wants. I just hate it when people say no one will be gone. No, they won't actually be gone, but it's not like they will be able to make their own decisions or anything.

I just don't see my DID as a problem, we all get on and we're all happy, so why should that have to change? I agree RAGE, I feel like if we integrated I'm losing people I love and for them, integration would be even harder, as they would lose their freedom and indentity altogether.
Canolime, I agree with you also. I feel like for some people although integration might be scary, if they're willing to go ahead with it a part of them wants to. I don't think they'd do it without any part of them wanting to. So for some people maybe it's the right thing to do, if they find it too hard to cope with or stuggle with the idea. But I like the way things are personally, and I don't want that to change.. They would be gone..

I'm not seeing 'blending' and 'integration' as the same thing...

For example I am 'blending' with F and S- we are sharing some memories and picking
up some of each other's characteristics, making it easier to function... but we remain separate...
It could be that I haven't gotten there in my healing yet, but
I really can't see my kids integrate, because even people without DID have parts.
I can see them blend, but they're already too well developed to 'integrate' personalities..
It may just be my personal experience but the integration (temporary) wasn't fun or helpful...
Although blending helps me get a better view of my life.
It's like clearing away the dirt on a window so you can see through to the other side.
I love my kids to death (They have all grown since we started therapy, not age wise) but I do
wish I had some of the memories and thinking capabilities that they have!
Perhaps that will come with time.

Also, integration never happens without consent! The reason we've been blending is because we've been healing.