how do you lock away an alter?

***** Parts are Triggering!!**** i tried to white those parts out so you don't have to read them if you're triggered...

So i had some weird dreams this morning (thinking i had another complete system and was talking with the protector of that system) and it turns out its my new alter (taken on the role of the abuser- only sicker/darker) trying to mess with my head to make me psychotic and need to go to the asylum (even though he knows it will be hospital)

Looong story short, he threatened me and the teen alter who experienced the abuse that when we were in hospital 'bad' things would happen like when we were little...( trying to be as least triggering as possible here so i whited that part out for those who are triggered- if you want to read it highlight it and it should show up).

The teen has been in crisis all day and her only coping skill (SH) was taken away by the new guy because he said its only going to get us to the hospital sooner and make us look crazier...So she's in her room crying, pacing and rocking herself on the bed curled up like a ball. The ISH and the Protector and the Little by her side trying to get her to calm down...I felt physically sick when all this happened because it was just horrible and this is the 1st time something like this has ever happened to me.

The teen doesn't feel safe being inside because the abuser alter is in there too and regularly comes and laughs outside her door and doesn't feel safe being 'out' either because of 'bad men"(highlight to see why) so i have no idea what to do for her... I called the T( huge for us but it was an emergency as i was feeling and seriously contemplating SU) and she said that i have the upper hand because i still have reality (i'm the host- so i'm the one out all the time) so i can see and know that these threats are never going to come true and that i AM safe ect ect... Trouble is, i only believe her when the Teen is sheilded from me.(which isn't much because the stronger insiders can't stop the emotions radiating from her to me...) I asked the 'god' like alter who controlls everything to get the killswitch alter to take away the pain and numb everyone out, but he said he can re-install the brick wall between me and everyone else but that means i cant see or hear them and i wont feel anything for a few weeks! and that won't help the Teen... (i want to help her soo badly but i don't know how!) Everything i've told her she doesn't believe and i'm trying to ground her and myself but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm still full of panic, paranoia and fear.

The ISH is against violence, but the protector wants to (and plans to) kill the newcomer for his actions...(these aren't the first hurtful actions by this new guy) They've decided to lock the new guy away in the cave for some time out ( a HUGE deal because no one except the protector believes anyone should ever be locked away) but we don't know how to successfully lock the new guy away and dont know where he is to catch him...My SO suggested some of those pain free foot traps to catch him but the new guys just laughing at the idea and walking away saying "you'll never catch me."

So i'm after some practical advice here... What do you do to lock an alter away?? How can i comfort the Teen?? How can i calm myself down?? (so far i've tried: distraction, self talk, enjoyable things, hugging the Teen, talking with her, being numb/dissociating away from it all... NOTHING seems to work!!)

This all happened at 12 noon today and it's now 4:30pm (the T only just called me back about 30 min ago) i know i've gotten through it so far by distraction but i'm feeling really hopeless and fed up...I'm so over this constant state of crisis and SU ideation...Its always in the back of my mind and its times like this that i think i cant be here anymore...Sorry for the long post...This is 100% new to me and the T's suggestions were to 'work as a team to maintain reality' and 'ask on the forum' and 'journal all the reasons why the threats will never happen...' She listed a few reasons and tried to tell me that they will never happen ect but knowing it rationally and feeling it are 2 totally different things...

Any help would be greatly appreciated...
Thanks you all so much for letting me vent this here and ask for help.

so i'm adamant i posted that topic over an hour and a half ago and i just went through the rigmarole of trying to find it only to see it never got posted....Don't know if this is something internal or if this this foum...This is the 2nd time it's happened in less than 2 weeks!! NOT HAPPY JAN!

vent over...

Wow that is a lot of bad stuff going on at once! It's the middle of the night here so I'll try and give as much useful advice as possible. First of all start with calming yourself down. You as the Core are strongest of them all (or theoretically you should be...isn't always the case) so it's most important that you get yourself calmed down. Start with yourself and try and block your alters out as much as possible. I am not in favor of ignoring alters at all but I think that right now you need to be selfish and work on you first. The only way to do that is by having Master put up the brick wall between you and the others again. Maybe you can figure out a way within your system so you can reach ISH and your protector if you need them. Maybe by sending them messages via Master? Right now your Teen is safe with the others that are calming her down so she should be taken care of for that time being. If you get some time to yourself without communication and without the majority of all their feelings I think you should be able to calm down to a point where you can think clearly enough to form a plan with your T. While the others are "away" so to say you can try talking to your T and your SO about everything that has been going on and what you think can work to make it better. I think this should be a first step. Secondly would be locking up the 'bad alter'. I'm not a fan of this option but from what I've read it seems to be necessary for your wellbeing. Unfortunately I have no clue how that works. I guess the whole system together is stronger then him and if you try to push him away, he will eventually be locked up?! I have no clue I'm so sorry. I'll ask my gf's if they know something in the morning but I doubt it. I'm sure there are some people on here who can help you with that. Third step would then be taking care of teen. This is gonna be one very long process but talk, talk and more talk. Comforting, playing with her, showing things that are fun in life and worth it, trying to built up positive thoughts. She's gonna have to do that with your T.

Right now you are most important. If you the host are not calmed down and at least a little stable, your system won't be either. So put Teen in second place right now. Have the others take care of her and talk to her when you are capable of really offering her support when you yourself are doing well enough. You need to get rid of the paranoia, panic and fear first and it's gonna take time. So make a plan for her with your system and for yourself. Then have Master put up the brick wall cause you really need some time to yourself. If your system has this kind of coping manner, I think you should use it to your advantage when really necessary.

I'm so sorry I can't offer you any more advice but I'm afraid this is all I got right now. I'll think about it more and when I have something else I will write you straight away!!

Good luck and hang in there. You'll be ok!!

hi onlyme,

Thanks for the advice...Sometimes i hate the time delay haha sitting around waiting for others' help isn't fun haha

i'm thinking seriously of the brick wall again and master has stopped most of the teen's emotions coming through to me. I can still see them all in her room but i feel much calmer...I talked it over with my T briefly and she knows there's alot more work to be done with the teen...(shes agreed to 3 hr time slots too)

Thanks for the help...I did some stuff for myself throughout the day, as well as for the teen. I had a long hot shower (she likes them) and played some puta games while listening to music...Tonight i'm watching my fav tv shows and double and triple checking the doors and windows..The SO will be home tomorrow so that will help alot. Just to have that someone else here to ease the paranoia.

I agree with the inners, locking this one away seems to be the only suitable thing to do atm. I cant have him doing this to us every few days... Its taken alot for the ISH to agree to this so now they just have to manage to track him down and catch him...We're working on that. lol

Thanks for the help...

weeble wrote:So she's in her room crying, pacing and rocking herself on the bed curled up like a ball.

Well, that's not fun. If cutting helps her, maybe doing something similar to it will help... did you look at SI alternatives?

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/fself.html
http://www.mosaicminds.org/safe-asi.shtml

weeble wrote:but we don't know how to successfully lock the new guy away and dont know where he is to catch him

Send a few of the stronger ones out in a group, to get him? And to lock alters up, you create/build a place in your mind, make locks and whatever else you want for it, put him in there, and lock it up. Have one or two people keep the keys. If it's built well enough, he should stay in there.

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Onlyme wrote:You as the Core are strongest of them all

Do you mind if I ask why you think that?

hi Canolime

My T tells me I'm the strongest of them all too because I'm the 'core'... she says its because they are only 'parts' of 'me' and then yesterday she told me i was the strongest and in the best position because as the core, i had the handle on 'reality'... Because i can see reality for what it is now and i know I'm a grown woman and that i know the abuse is gone now it's over and that it will never happen again ect ect...She said the others don't know that, they're all still stuck in the past when the abuse was happening...

i don't know if that helps, but that's what she keeps telling me...She says I'm the strongest because I'm in control...(99% of the time i am)

I don't know if onlyme has a different view though...lol

i forgot to say thankyou for telling us how to lock up the alter...Helps a lot to know my ideas were on the right track lol i'm not sure if they've got him yet because i'm getting mixed signals about it all...Some say they have but then i hear the 'bad' alter haha so i'm not sure... I can't really concentrate today either though, still reeling from yesterday i think...Still not feeling 100% safe either...

Thanks again!

Onlyme wrote: You as the Core are strongest of them all (or theoretically you should be...isn't always the case)

Like I said it's theoretically the case. Most therapists/psychiatrists think that this is in fact true although very often you find certain alters to be much stronger than the Core. From my experience that's only the case when they've been in control for years over time with the Core completely blacking out. From what I know from Weeble, she - the Core- is one of the strongest in her system, her protecter,master and ISH close behind. What I say is not fact, it's simply advice and things I know from experience that can always differ. Everybody is different.

So anyway that was it!