Sudden flash of emotions

Whew, haven't posted here in a couple of weeks. ^^; But yeah, getting to the main point. Lately, for whatsoever no reason at all, I've been having sudden 'bursts' of emotions. Like I could be entirely happen one minute, then the next just bawl. I don't know what's happening-- because right now it's actually quite stress free, but my rib problems and headaches are getting worse as well. Then sometimes when I'm in the shower, the steam just gets to me and I try not to faint-- or if I'm in a crowded place, it seems like I'm getting more distant.

I know I have alters. I know most things like that, and I know about the trauma the previous host had, but am I really that weak? The previous host was amazing-- always happy, helping people, yet holding that aggression and pain for more than six years. Now it's been eight years, maybe. Two years ago, Rauiko, who is arguably quite forward aggressive. He then passed the responsibility of a host onto myself, Ciro. But both of them have been able to cope with it-- yet I can't?

Seriously, I'm just confused. This may be a new alter, or it might not be, and maybe no one here can tell me what it is-- but it'd be just the least tad comforting to see someone post something that'll be of help.

Do the bursts of emotions feel like they belong to you? Because multiples can get "sudden bursts of emotion", when that emotion is actually coming from another alter. If you suddenly feel like crying, you might want to check inside, to see if it's really someone else who's sad. As for the headaches, maybe someone inside is upset about something? Or you're switching more? There might be a trigger somewhere that you're not noticing, that might be causing the sudden emotions and the pain.

Ciro wrote:Then sometimes when I'm in the shower, the steam just gets to me and I try not to faint-- or if I'm in a crowded place, it seems like I'm getting more distant.

Do you have the fan on, when you take a shower, to take care of the steam? Before it gets too hot in there, make the water a little cooler
Does it make you nervous to be around a lot of people?

Suddenly being a host, can be a big change. A lot of alters find it very tiring, when they have to be out more than usual, or if they need to take care of things they aren't used to. Every person is different, and handles things differently. Being different than the others doesn't make you weak.

I have had this happen 2 me. I was with my kids @ a carnival. The kids get on the rides..and I am there watching very happy 4 them and then all of a sudden I am being racked with crying and uncontrolling ripples of pain and crying. I did not know what was going on. I should have been happy 4 my kids. Well later (many years later) I began 2 think about this and was still confused until recently . One of my alters probably wanted 2 b on there 2 but was afraid 2 b on there.
Now I am going 2 the rodeo and I am going 2 ride ALL the rides.

Sometimes I feel Shirley is sad while I am fine myself, and it took a bit before I realized it was her. Amy pulls away and doesn't
let me in on her difficult emotions, but I often feel a flash of her smile when she sees something she likes, or i'll feel that she is familar with something though I am not.

Also, though, a lot of the time I feel a certian way for no reason at all. And it really is me, I really do feel unsafe or paniced for no discernable reason. I'll be going on fine then BAM suddenly a change. Fine then filled with anguish and grief. Or happy then suddenly angry, or I call them mood crashes, mood shifts or mood swings, depending onthe situation. Sometimes my moods just crash and stay crashed, other times they shift around for no reason and sometimes they really get going and do nothing but swing around all day like a cosmic yo-yo. I just figured I might be bipolar. Over time i've become more stable, but sometimes I go thorugh a month or weeks at a time where I am like this again. Actually i'm kind of worried i'm heading into one of those episodes again because yesterday I was so angry, then I was just breaking down into tears so easily. And then I got loud and fidgety, but that might have been the Caffine Shirley tells me not to drink.

Do you ever feel completely fine, think fairly positive thoughts about a difficult situation and then when you open your mouth and talk about it, you sound so bitter and angry, and you're like, I thought I was ok with this?

Bright Eyes

Oooh~ Thanks for responding the three of you. =D

Canolime, the first time I read that I was determined to write 'Camomile' xD Oh, but I don't know how to describe them... for example, in computing today, the second last class of the day, I just kind of 'sensed,' for lack of better words, that someone was shouting vulgar terms. It doesn't sound like any of the alter's of my voice, so it must've been the previous host's or something. All I could remember was someone-- namely a male-- shouting the 'f' word and swearing, then there was a whoosh of wind and it sounded like a train was going by... then it felt like I was having my ribs pulled apart. That always seems to happen these days.

Hmm? A fan? Nope. And no, I don't particularly dislike being in a large crowd. Also, I've been the host for two years now, and nothing like this has happened before. Thanks for responding though~

Now onto Mmscandy. That's good, good. =D Fight the power! Yeah!

Finally, Cuteclevermonster, was it? Yeah, that used to happen quite a lot around two years ago, where you convince yourself? Ahaha, it's quite awkward when you do that. xD; For example, it doesn't help if you're, say, 'emotionless' or such in the first place. Oh God you just reminded me of a time when I was actually quite content, and had forgotten what I was angry at and was eating in English, then when I went to say 'Thank you' to the teacher, it came out as almost a slither. Stretching on the 's''s.

Oooh, but yeah, yeah. Today a lot of stuff happened-- that I can't really remember... eh, but a chemical imbalance in the ol' brain sounds about right.

Ciro wrote:Canolime, the first time I read that I was determined to write 'Camomile' xD

Ciro wrote:I just kind of 'sensed,' for lack of better words, that someone was shouting vulgar terms. It doesn't sound like any of the alter's of my voice, so it must've been the previous host's or something. All I could remember was someone-- namely a male-- shouting the 'f' word and swearing, then there was a whoosh of wind and it sounded like a train was going by... then it felt like I was having my ribs pulled apart.

Hmm... that actually sounds more like it might be a flashback. Flashbacks can be seen, heard, felt (physically or emotionally), tasted, or smelled. Do you think that could be it?

Maybe the flashbacks are causing you to be a little overwhelmed, and that's why you're feeling different in certain situations (like crowds).