Wow, a new dimension of "spacing out"

I've done the space-out thing, too. I don't always switch; sometimes I just get put on hold.

As for denying the DID, all I know is when I fight switching I get killer headaches. Now I just try to stay aware and work together.

hi walden, i can really relate to that - the times when i feel less present are exactly how you're describing... it feels like im existing through a fog or something, and at those times staying with things does take a whole load of mental energy!

lol, ive never tried chanting to myself the other parts of me dont exist, but ive rationalised it by thinking, "dont be stupid youre making it up!" but ive got a feeling ive been in a very similar situation with my dissociative disorder this thread really sent my head places when i first read what everyone has written here.

walden wrote: last night, I was on the computer when I heard "You have had enough of this"..I found myself obeying it and instantly walked away. A couple paces later, I THOUGHT to myself (there is definitely a difference!) "woah, I wasn't done yet, why did I just do that?". Something like that seem familiar to you??

Definitely! I do that a lot. For instance, if an outside person offers me something, I'll just automatically repeat whatever I hear in my head. So, if someone inside says "No", then I'll automatically refuse whatever was offered. Then, in my head, I'm like "But I wanted some..."

walden wrote:Oh and lately I hear an angry little boys voice yelling out "who are you!!" to people around me.

From now on, when you hear that, try answering the boy's question Calmly, explain who the person is, and tell the boy not to worry, so he won't be so upset.

walden wrote:People seem like adults to me for a brief spell, in the way that a child would see them. It has been happening for weeks now, I think I've been trying to block that out (or just convince myself its just me thinknig it). Perhaps thats where some of the headaches come from?

Yeah, that happens sometimes, with DID (feeling like a kid). It is possible that blocking/denying it is causing headaches.

walden wrote:I asked myself what was that?! after that happened, and I could hear some sort of heavy breathing in my mind. Something stirring, and a feeling of intimidation. This spacing out has been out of control this evening.

That's a bit creepy You could try asking around (inside), now that whoever said it has probably calmed down a little.
I'm sorry you're so spacey

katana wrote:hi walden, i can really relate to that - the times when i feel less present are exactly how you're describing... it feels like im existing through a fog or something, and at those times staying with things does take a whole load of mental energy!

Today was like that big time! I was exhausted by noon.

I made a list of things to talk about with my psych today. its waaay bigger than I thought it would be! maybe its the engineer in me, but I need to be 100% sure of what I think before I bring it forth. I have some big memory lapses I can prove now. That, the headaches, voices, the memory lapses, the "distant, dizzy, out-of-control" feeling... I am very sure of the DID now.

Hey Canolime, I just posted a response right when you did!

canolime wrote:Definitely! I do that a lot. For instance, if an outside person offers me something, I'll just automatically repeat whatever I hear in my head. So, if someone inside says "No", then I'll automatically refuse whatever was offered. Then, in my head, I'm like "But I wanted some..."

Interesting..I have noticed all sorts of emotions coming from something within when I talk with people too.

walden wrote:From now on, when you hear that, try answering the boy's question Calmly, explain who the person is, and tell the boy not to worry, so he won't be so upset.

I will try that, thanks. I actually started talking with the female voice yesterday. Usually I sort of respond in "thought", but that time I was so frustrated I was a bit crass when I spoke out loud to her. I think her name is Annabelle I feel love when I say it..wierd, but it feels good!!

canolime wrote:That's a bit creepy You could try asking around (inside), now that whoever said it has probably calmed down a little.

I will do that. I feel some very old and bad feelings when that happens. It is definitely that man that I see..I think I mentioned him before...He is the one that I see grimacing at me.

walden wrote:I made a list of things to talk about with my psych today. its waaay bigger than I thought it would be! maybe its the engineer in me, but I need to be 100% sure of what I think before I bring it forth. I have some big memory lapses I can prove now. That, the headaches, voices, the memory lapses, the "distant, dizzy, out-of-control" feeling... I am very sure of the DID now.

i did something similar... mine ended up pretty long too, guess there was just a lot to say. - every time i go to talk to someone, i tell them something different - different versions of me come up with different issues so in the end i sent myself an email to show to the GP lol still the version of me i was when i went to see the second GP didnt want to show her the email...

good luck with the psych appointment

Thanks! I have been seeing him for years now. I don't think he'll be surprised..He referred me to a Therapist the specializes in PTSD about a year ago, but I wasn't ready to go. I wasn't really having any of these issues. I was just having lots or depersonalization.

Another question..For years now, when I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep I have been hearing voices. They sound the same as they do now- I know they aren't coming from outside of my head, but nonetheless very real. I told my doc about it and he was stumped haha!

He ruled out hypnagogia, as I wasn't on the brink of sleep when they happen. My theory is that they have always been there, getting louder and more pronounced. It's totally quiet when I'm laying in bed, so perhaps I could just notice them more? Now I hear them almost all day. Anyone else experience this??

walden wrote:Hey Canolime, I just posted a response right when you did!

walden wrote:Another question..For years now, when I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep I have been hearing voices. They sound the same as they do now- I know they aren't coming from outside of my head, but nonetheless very real. I told my doc about it and he was stumped haha!

He ruled out hypnagogia, as I wasn't on the brink of sleep when they happen. My theory is that they have always been there, getting louder and more pronounced. It's totally quiet when I'm laying in bed, so perhaps I could just notice them more? Now I hear them almost all day. Anyone else experience this??

It's normal to hear alters more clearly, before you fall asleep. I guess everything is more quiet, and you're able to focus more on the inside Maybe it's getting louder because they just aren't trying to hide it so much, anymore. If it's bothering you, you could try asking them to keep it down, a little

I know what you mean - you have to be ready before the therapy can help, before that is almost like working up to being ready, which i guess is just the step before. i was using all sorts of defence mechanisms to block or deny the problems and tho i noticed the dissociationi didn't understand what it was, or recognise the feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation - for a while i thought i had some sort of attention deficit disorder or something ! lol

not exactly the same, have only heard something "not there" once when i was pretty crazy and very low on sleep at the time. i have "heard" voices when asleep or half way between awake and asleep, but it doesn't literally sound real or seem to come from outside my head, its more like "thought-hearing" and like being interrupted! - just assumed it was my subconscious, they have been adult female voices and 2 kids... which makes sense. im not sure i have "complete" alters tho, so i guess it may be different for me.

katana wrote:i was using all sorts of defence mechanisms to block or deny the problems and tho i noticed the dissociationi didn't understand what it was, or recognise the feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation - for a while i thought i had some sort of attention deficit disorder or something ! lol

I thought the same thing!! ADD because when listening to someone, they would start commenting on what they would be saying, or whats around us. Drives me crazy!! I get a bit scared, often at work they pipe up and try to ask questions to people thru me. For example, at a meeting, I was listening to a coworker talk..while he was talking , a little boys voice said to him "do you love me??" I would be humiliated and lost control and actually said that to him!!

canolime wrote:t's normal to hear alters more clearly, before you fall asleep. I guess everything is more quiet, and you're able to focus more on the inside Maybe it's getting louder because they just aren't trying to hide it so much, anymore. If it's bothering you, you could try asking them to keep it down, a little

I think I'll try that, thanks I do feel guilt when I've tried that in the past though.