Ok, I need to talk to somone.

L said we cant tell the therapist because somtimes I say way too much. He thinks if I tell the therapist that I will say too much about us, and then feel more comfortable about telling my parents, then friends, then everyone, which might be true... Xana wont talk here because xana doesnt like it, sorry.

letraindrown wrote:L said we cant tell the therapist because somtimes I say way too much. He thinks if I tell the therapist that I will say too much about us, and then feel more comfortable about telling my parents, then friends, then everyone, which might be true... Xana wont talk here because xana doesnt like it, sorry.

Maybe you could promise L that even when you feel more comfortable talking that you won't tell everyone - only people you can trust to react decently and keep it private, and agree with L who you're going to tell before you tell anyone? sometimes how many people its ok to tell about something can depend on how you feel about it yourself, maybe because L doesnt feel as secure about telling others as you do and needs to give things more time/ease into it more than you would.

L - being open with people isn't always a bad thing, but i can understand why you wouldn't want to tell people who might react badly or judge you - its not helpful when people react that way so its fair to be careful who you tell and who you don't. You could always ask your therapist about confidentiality, what she has to tell your parents and what she doesn't? but i would guess if she is going to be able to help any of you, its probably going to be much easier if she knows there are more than one of you because you all probably have different issues. as far as friends & family go, if there are people you can trust not to judge you and to keep it private for now if that's what you'd prefer, sometimes telling people is not such a bad thing.

im guessing Xana doesn't like to tell anyone anything personal about herself or any of you, but if maybe she is willing to talk to the others (inside your system), have you tried asking her why? (if she doesn't want to answer you could always just leave it open and say she can talk any time she likes if she wants to)

hope you all manage to work things out