What happens? *Triggering*

I'm trying to figure out, but I'm not really good, so i'm gonna ask.
When a person with DID dies, that person becomes an alter. And I have proof. But I don't really know what to believe, though.
I wish I was a doctor or something like this, so I didn't have to ask questions. Also I can give an example of a friend of mine, who also has DID. Today, a girl came and was really scared. I tried to assure her that she is safe, but she started to cry and she was trembeling. She died because of her father, who abused her. She's from Holland. And she has DID too. So, my question is, when someone dies, does it really becomes an alter?*Claire*

Hi. I'm Renee. I'm 15. I'm from New Zeeland. And I have DID. So, that means I have an alter. Her name is Cleo. I came a few weeks ago, but I don't know how. The last thing I remember is that I was at home, more exactly in the back yard, hiding from my alcoholic dad and his friends. And they all came to me, and hit me really bad, and then...they did horrible things to me and they thought it was fun. Dad used to beat me every day, and as time passed, I learnt not to be scared. But that night, something happened. Actually, I died, and I woke up here, in this body. Now, I'm scared. I know he can't hurt me anymore, but I am scared. Because of the nightmares, because I will do a lot of damage to this body, as I'm anorectic, because I don't know what to do and because I don't want to be brave anymore. I hate it when I have to hide. I want to be myself, and I don't think there is something wrong if I say that I am scared. I am sorry for this, I had to say it. I don't know if any of you will want to help me, and it's ok. And I know I don't lie.

Ok, I got it. It sounds really stupid, right? And no one would like to comment such a worthless post. Because I'm really stupid, of course. *Cleo (Renee's alter)*

I apologise for not being able to make you understand what's going on. Next time, I'll try to do better. But, I have something to add. The core personality left a few months ago, so we're trying our best in order to make it through each day and we have really bad nightmares because of what happened to Renee and Kate (separete, of course) *Tasi*

I dont think this post is stupid. To me, you posted for a reason, and are feeling deeply about it. I know how I feel when I think about the things I can't falsify or prove correct, however I feel deeply about them. Such as my origins or how I got to be like this, in this life, with my alters, and who they are to me... who we will be to each other when this body dies.

You said you don't want to be brave anymore. That's a good first step. You are allowed to feel like it is getting to be too much for you to stand up strong and act like nothing is bothering you. You deserve for others to support you and acknowledge that. You also deserve to work closely with a therapist who wants you to feel better, if you want to feel better too. You will do damage to the body and continue to have nightmares if you do not work together with your family (system) and a good therapist (you need one, so I hope you can find one) to make it so that you can be happy without it being infected by the injuries you have inside from your past. And I know you are not lying - it is physically still reality, in your memory cells, which you experience, and which affect your present understanding of reality. Just the same as anything else that happens or will happen.

But it can get better if you want it to, and it seems like you might. One leading theory is what explains how EMDR (eye movement desensitization) works: in the event of trauma, your brain waves change to reflect the trauma, and it is not a healthy state. To cope, we dissociate from the trauma, but unfortunately, this can leave those brainwaves sectioned off and isolated, unattended to, and still reflecting trauma while we go on with our lives. We are then continuing to deal with a part of us that needs healing, but is difficult to reach because it has been dissociated from. A lot of people respond very well to EMDR and it is now widespread amongst clinicians, so this theory seems to be on the right heels of understanding how to help us when we are behaving in ways that make us unhappy, even though we don't want to be doing that.

I also think that art therapy would be great to look into, especially for alters or anyone with DID, because through symbols and pictures, we express our emotions that we have not been able to become as familiar with as chronic dissociators. It might be a great way to get bad energy out of your body and thus might help with how you feel like you 'will damage your body' and your nightmares. These are all actions that call your body to spend energy that is active inside you... so the question might be to figure out how to let it get out of you in a healthy way.

Anyway, just some ideas. Hope you guys can feel better.

I know that I have to see a therapist, but I can't because
1) money
2) my mom won't allow it

Well I would suggest maybe getting in touch with your local health authority, in the mental health department. I think that if you told them your problem (that you have ongoing mental health issues and that you have no support or advisor), and said that you would like to speak with someone who can give you advice, they could at least think of some phone numbers you could try and repeat the process with. There are youth workers who work to be available for people who are in difficult situations, such as if you are hard of money and/or are living with someone who you feel has control over you. You just might have to find them yourself.

If you had some phone-therapy or phone-advice for now, that would be something, which is better than nothing. Your mom is incorrect and I'd probably disobey her if I were you. Good luck

You have a pretty unique situation and I wish I could help you or give some sort of advice but I am not sure what to tell you. At this point I really do think you should ignore your mother and get therapy. Don't cause any problems with your family but I think you should seek professional help.

~Yuriko