Kids

I know there are a few of you with kid alters, wondered if you could just give me your thoughts.

There are 5 kids under 7 in my system.
Jonathan (J)
Kaia
Mysery & Addi (twins)
Kymani

J & Kaia were best friends & used to play together all the time, as they were the only 2 who were out, but as we've gotten more stable etc the others have all come out. Since the others have come out, Kaia has become friends with Mysery & none of the kids play with J now. It's been a nightmare cuz I've spoken to them about it, but obviously it makes him really sad. Ideas?

Also, we went to a park/water playground with our lil bro & sis-in law & J was really upset that he couldnt play (obvs cuz I'm 23 & it would've been a bit weird in a kiddy park) We sneakily went on the seesaw but he seems to be getting more & more sensitive to it & it makes me so sad

J has been with me since I was 4 - i grew up, he didn't. We do loads together & i try to make sure they get to do pretty much whatever they want (with-in reason etc) but it's horrible seeing him upset at not being able to play with other kids etc.

Any thoughts? Cheers guys

mara

I would suggest that you be his playmate, or your SO, or maybe even look into whether you can arrange a play therapy session like how they structure therapy sessions for children. Play therapy is great for kids, I remember that it was great for me when I was a kid and I think it might be the best thing for someone with DID who has child alters too. Its fun, therapeutic, lets you play around as an individual and be the center of attention.

Right now I have a couple who we have hopes for making happy with some planned playtime, making friendships with them, rather than depending on inner children/outer children being their friends. I'm going to buy a couple videogames, etc, and SO wants to explore being a potential playmate. Does any of that sound like it might be fun for J?

Poor J, I really feel for him. But we can make the most of our situations short of controlling other people in the world, like the others who are causing him to feel sad.

my only advice is,
let j play! just because you are 23 and you think it would look weird doesn't mean you should let it be weird. my husband took my 4 year old trick or treating, and here adults are not allowed to collect candy only kids are, but he took lil rose and they had so much fun. im sure there were a few people who gave a few funny looks to them and maybe they even figure i was "special" slow or what have you. I dont mind it so they think i am childish or a little slow, people reacted as if i was a slow person and they will talk to me as if i am a child which if little rose is there then its kind of good for her that they do treat her like a child even though they are really thinking i am an adult that has autism or something similar. but j needs to be a kid! there is nothing wrong with letting them be kids! i know everytime im in the toy section at the store she pops out and goes to playing and if people are around then oh well? i guess i just like to make my little happy =)