New here......scared

I'm more surprised myself than anyone else, that I have joined this forum. I am so scared of so many things right now. I don't think I could list all of them. I have known for a very long time that I have D.I.D. I think that I have spent half of my life trying NOT to KNOW what was wrong. Maybe if I try hard enough, it will go away. And sometimes, I think it has gone away. I can come up with all kinds off excuses to why this or that or the other happened. So what if I don't remember doing it? I'm just ditsy, right? No big deal, shrug it off and move on. Crap, don't look now, but I think it's getting worse. A lot worse. I love my sweet little family. I love my man. Time to face reality. If I lose them, I have nothing. I'm here for help. I'm here for answers. I'm here to see if I'm alone.

Barbie,
Welcome and just take your time bearing your soul. You could find that you want to just lay it all down. After you do, you may feel exposed and feel the need to take it back delete--sometimes happens. Just kind of ease in and remember to take care of the other part's needs for safety. It can feel very exposing to some parts to have stuff layed bare to a bunch of strangers on a world wide forum with God knows who reading.
I hope you find it comforting here.

Calm down. First off can you tell us what kind of relationship you have with your alters.

Feel free to ask any questions and I'll try answer them.

I'm calm. Scared, but calm. You will be able to tell easily when I'm not.

As far as my relationship with my alters, I don't really feel I have one. I only know what people around me tell me. I don't have any memories of it. Very recently, however I asked to be videoed when it happened. It took me quite a few attempts to watch a small portion of one incident. I am having a very hard time accepting what I saw. Weird as it sounds, it's not me. I guess you could say I am extremely segregated. I want to learn how to accept D.I.D. I guess I'm one step closer than I was before though. Otherwise I wouldn't be discussing it online.

Have you tried talking to them. If you can't yet leave them a note or keep a journal so you contact them.

You are NOT alone and are among family and friends who love and adore you.
There are those who will listen if you wish them to do so...TRUST and BELIEVE...
The truth will set you free, so take a breath and proceed.

A man I care for and love has DID, I did not know this until very recently.
I am seeking your help.... please answer this question.
Should I call him again to reassure him that I am here for him.... if he wants or needs my friendship?
I want him to know I understand a" little bit" more and I do not hate him.
How should I proceed?

And remember, we are never alone....
you do not have to look only to the heavens to see angels...
sometimes they are standing right in front of us
with arms ,wings outstretched.....
all one has to do is
open their eyes to see.

Hoping you are well, hoping you respond.
Love always and never forget....
Brown Eyed Girl.....
xxoo

WarpedBarbie wrote: Very recently, however I asked to be videoed when it happened. It took me quite a few attempts to watch a small portion of one incident. I am having a very hard time accepting what I saw. Weird as it sounds, it's not me.

It's not wierd. You weren't watching yourself in the video, you were watching someone else in your body. It wasn't you. You can't talk to them in your head, and that's normal. Since they switch out, try leaving around a journal, or notes, where they will see them. Ask your friends to urge them to reply. Just like any other relationship, the most important thing is communication. Feel free to ask questions, this forum is all about helping one another.

Hoping you all are doing well,
Stephani

I'm late, but... Welcome, WarpedBarbie

WarpedBarbie wrote:I think that I have spent half of my life trying NOT to KNOW what was wrong. Maybe if I try hard enough, it will go away.

Yeah, as you found out, ignoring them will make things worse.

Like J3f and Stephani said, you should try leaving out a notebook for them to write to you in. Introduce yourself (in the notebook), ask them to write back, and leave it somewhere they will see it. Then, wait to see if they'll reply.

Sup yeah, it's F yeah.
I wanna say thank you and hello for coming to the forums, yeah!
I don't get out much nowadays cause we's workin' hard and our mom is sick, yeah,
but we love ya anyways.
It took us a long time to say "oh yeah, we have did, i accept that" yeah.
It took her even longer to say "all these different people are all parts of me, and the more
i get to know them i get to know myself, and i gotta love all of them because they are all myself"
It's a good thing if you can learn to be friends with everyone cause we learn our body better than anyone
else who doesn't have did, and we can all talk about what makes us happy and stuff.
We work together, yeah.
It's not scary or weird that you have DID yeah, whatever made this happen is the scary weird thing.
But all in all life sucks sometimes and we got the short end of the stick for a while there.
But we's gettin' stronger yeah, and it's all cool and good yeah.
You take your time and let everyone inside you talk they're probably bubbling with stuff to say yeah,
and sometimes we like to stretch our legs but don't let us stretch too far and do bad stuff,
make rules yeah. But thinking of us when grocery shopping a treat goes a long way if we've been helpful
and silly and funny and nice yeah! My favorite is the licorice, yeah.
Just take your time and work hard and be gentle with yourself yeah. You're normal yeah.
You're good yeah. It's all okay yeah. We love ya too yeah.

Love F the little protector that I am.