Q. for DID people; are alt personalities stereotypes?

Hello there. I actually bumped Heather out the way to answer this question :p

One of the things that upsets and angers me more than anything else to be told I am the "evil one of the system". None of us are that simplistic, even the people I hate. Yeah, I suppose you can probably categorise them, but you can categorise any human being and it's never, ever accurate. It's just a way of labelling. I am the "bad girl", but I also DO care once in while contrary to popular opinion/belief. Heather is the carer, but she can be a bitch. Emily is a damaged bulimic with "voices in her head", but she's also an actress and performer and a brilliant person to boot. It's never that simple.

Jen


Hi, Heather here. Jen wasn't supposed to answer that, but I'm abiding by system rules - she does have a point. Definitely not that simple. And actually, there does seem to be some crossover between BPD and DID - Emily believed herself as BPD before she finally accepted who we all were and what it meant. And if I'm not wrong, alters can also have BPD - can somebody confirm that for me? I personally reckon Emily might have BPD (esp in terms of black and white thinking) as well as accepting our existence. Hope that helps.

Heather.

smallcat wrote:And if I'm not wrong, alters can also have BPD - can somebody confirm that for me?

Yes, different alters can have different disorders.


And I know I'm totally late in replying... I've been really bad with posting the last couple of weeks. You all can throw tomatoes at me, if you want

thanks for everyone helping to explain all this. It is not easy to understand for those of us who are not DID and maybe those who are, too. It does make sense that these alts have different ways of acting, but they arent really stereotypes.

In fact when I think about how I act, sometimes I when I am with friends at a ball game I might swear like crazy. And when I am at bar, with friends who smoke, I smoke. And I NEVER smoke, unless I am with them. So I behave differently when I am in different surroundings. I dont think of myself as a set of stereotypes, but i can see that I do act in predictable ways when I am in different settings.

I will probably start a new thread, related to this, but I might as well ask: are there certain triggers that set you into different alts? I mean like when I am in a bar with smokers and having a good time, that is when I smoke.

Specifically, is it an external event that might change your alt? Or perhaps an emotion? or perhaps you are tired? Thanks.

EDIT: Oh I wanted to add that bipolar could certainly exist with a DID person, although I dont think you have to have bipolar to be DID; almost certainly not. I wonder though if bi polar is unusually high in DID? My wife is diagnosed with bi polar; and I think it's clear she has DID. ANother person I know is dating someone who is likely a borderline, and has been diagnosed with bi polar. But I have no way of knowing, there are many many people with bi polar...

Yes, switches can be triggered. They're not always. Sometimes people will come out just because they want something, or they want to get word in, or they want a turn to do things. But external things can cause a switch too. If other little kids are around, that might 'trigger' a younger part to come out. And if something bad is starting to happen, the protector will come out. After all, that's their job, to protect the body. Someone else could also go to work or school if the main is unable to. As far as I know, being tired would only cause a switch because it lowers your guard, so others can come out easier. That, or you have bad feelings related to being tired.

It makes sense what you say and it does not seem all that unreasonable to have these alts come out when needed. I think the only difference is that my alts are integrated, they know each other, they are very aware of each, etc.

is it ever a problem like when you are one alt and this alt does not know they have to go to school or go to work. Or do all the alts know what time work is? Or do some alts are never around when it is time for work or school?

I thought you were asking for your wife?

I know others might have that problem, but as far as I know, everyone in my system knows when it's time to go to school and all that. My little one never comes out during the school day, it's too busy for her with too many adults and she doesn't understand the work. Another of my alters is almost constantly there for school, and like I said, she does most of the math. The protector is just always around, and she knows what needs to be done. She wouldn't let us randomly skip, as much as we might want to.

thanks for the reply. I am not too concerned about my wife, she does whatever she does. I am still somewhat interested I guess, also I have a friend and she is trying to figure out what is going on with a friend of hers. It sounds like borderline/DID; I invited her to come here and hang out. So I guess I am just interested in the whole thing.

I asked my hosts partner and she said that normally I would act proper or elegant in a way. Somewhat of being in charge or wise. So I assume everyone has some sort of predictability

smallcat wrote:Hi, Heather here. Jen wasn't supposed to answer that, but I'm abiding by system rules - she does have a point. Definitely not that simple. And actually, there does seem to be some crossover between BPD and DID - Emily believed herself as BPD before she finally accepted who we all were and what it meant. And if I'm not wrong, alters can also have BPD - can somebody confirm that for me? I personally reckon Emily might have BPD (esp in terms of black and white thinking) as well as accepting our existence. Hope that helps.

Heather.

My alter, N, was diagnosed BPD. She didn't ever talk about being an alter or anything about DID so I'm not sure if that changes anything.

Do you find that it is the "core' or "host" that is the one alt that is aware of all of the others? Do you find that the other alts often don't know about or communicate with the others? I was thinking that maybe that would be a way to define how someone w/ DID would experience things differently than me. It's all very interesting to me and as I said there are a couple people in my life that I suspect are like this, although I have never brought it up with my wife because I think it would just upset her and set her back.

She goes to a marriage counselor with me and she was also in a DBT class until that was curtailed, they hope to restart the program again. She is working w/ me fairly well at sharing our daughter and planning those sort of things; also helped a lot when my dad went downhill. He passed away in Aug and she was there much of the time, she did the rosary with him the day before he died.

She is real good at that sort of thing, probably it is her "main" or at least the one that is present most of the time. Her main is very shy, quiet and really enjoys helping others. her main works very hard to avoid saying something that might upset someone. to the extent where she would rather say something non committal then hurt someone's feelings. If she doesnt want to do something she might say "I'll think about it, rather than actually coming out and saying "I dont want to go." It makes for some misunderstandings sometimes, often with our daughter.