Very Confused--Help

I'm still struggling to get what is happening and where I fit in. I've been reading what has been posted in my name but with other names and sometimes with no other name but I don't remember posting. Sometimes these others know things I don't understand.

The question I have is whether I'm supposed to be the smartest one here and am I just failing miserably by being constantly so confused? Shouldn't I be the smartest, not the most ignorant? I'm constantly lost and feel as though I'm somewhere I don't belong. Should I just find a way to turn things over to these others since they seem to have it more together? Am I doing things all wrong? I don't seem to have it together like most of the people here. I don't talk to these others. I want to. We have a journal and they write in it but I find it today after losing days worth of time and it's covered in blood from injuries that happened while I was in my forgetting times. I don't know what to make of what was said in those pages or what was being said by the blood.

Alia wrote:The question I have is whether I'm supposed to be the smartest one here and am I just failing miserably by being constantly so confused? Shouldn't I be the smartest, not the most ignorant?

No, actually hosts (the "main" person... which is what you are) don't know as much about what's going on, as alters do. That's normal. It won't be as confusing once you get some co-consciousness

Alia wrote:Should I just find a way to turn things over to these others since they seem to have it more together?

No. You all play different parts. You're needed too, even if you don't feel like it, right now.


You think the blood was purposely put there?

canolime wrote:No, actually hosts (the "main" person... which is what you are) don't know as much about what's going on, as alters do. That's normal. It won't be as confusing once you get some co-consciousness

I seem to be totally in the dark as to the direction of my life. Down to where we are going to live and what grade I got on my argument paper last week ? I have injuries that I don't know where they come from and extreme makeover home edition and Sunday night football is on. Survivor should be on tonight. It's like everything is messed up.

canolime wrote: No. You all play different parts. You're needed too, even if you don't feel like it, right now.

From reading what they say about me, they think I'm an imbecile. I'm not so sure I disagree at this point. I do stay confused most of the time and I don't get what they try to tell me. So, I can understand that. Just so many things coming at me to process.

canolime wrote:You think the blood was purposely put there?

yeah, with the attempt to draw with it and write with it, I think they were doing

yeah on purpose

Alia wrote:I seem to be totally in the dark as to the direction of my life. Down to where we are going to live and what grade I got on my argument paper last week ? I have injuries that I don't know where they come from and extreme makeover home edition and Sunday night football is on. Survivor should be on tonight. It's like everything is messed up.

Argument paper... ask Fen what happened with that one. Any questions you have, you should write in the journal. Or I guess you could ask me, and I could ask them I know you missed a couple of days...

Alia wrote:From reading what they say about me, they think I'm an imbecile. I'm not so sure I disagree at this point. I do stay confused most of the time and I don't get what they try to tell me. So, I can understand that. Just so many things coming at me to process.

You're just confused. Not understanding what's happening, is understandable. That doesn't make you an imbecile. It'll take a while of talking with each other before it gets clearer.

Alia wrote:yeah, with the attempt to draw with it and write with it, I think they were doing

yeah on purpose

The blood was used to draw/write with? You can't tell what it says?

I was thinking. Someone mentioned using emails to communicate with alters. If the journal isn't working, do you think you could also try sending emails to each other? You wouldn't have trouble reading their handwriting, and if it's in another language, you can just copy/paste into a translator.