Alters being sneaky

Wow, another topic.. Um, okay. So I'm wondering something else. Lately I've noticed that I actually seem to switch more often than I previously thought, it's just that sometimes they're really sneaky about it and don't let me know...(I think) Or, perhaps worse, they don't bother taking control, but just go and start planting their own thoughts in my head, disguised as me. I thought I was just being paranoid about that last one until the other night, when I actually noticed someone doing it and caught her out. She was pretty quick to fess up but then we had an argument for about an hour. So now instead of impersonating me, she just bugs me openly which I guess is kind of an improvement?

So, I'm guessing this happens to me because of the co-conscious thing and them not wanted me to notice them for how many years. I'm not sure what to think of it all though. I wish we could all just get along? Does or did this happen to anyone else or am I just weird? (And I hope I don't make anyone else paranoid by posting this )

hehe. i'm guilty of this one. and it's caused issues, ive started being less snatchy about having time. (I dislike being alone for more than a day anyway)

i'd assume insessant pestering is better than blacking out hours-to-days

for me it's kind of an old habit. *shrug* for awhile we kind of assumed we were forgetful and moody and the idea of 'telling him waht i'm doing' didn't quite work.

set some rules maybe? "please tell me what youre doing and maybe make an attempt to not block memories"?

Well, I don't actually get the blackouts (I think), that's why I said they were being sneaky. The ones who do take over (at least I think they are, it's really hard to tell!) have been impersonating me, both outside and inside (they're better at the inside part, but apparently it's hard to tell outside anyway), so that I think that it's me doing stuff when it's actually them. ...That's really confusing isn't it? I'm still trying to figure out how it all works though. I could be wrong...

There are times where I do something uncharacteristic for me (they're influencing me), but I'm still in control. There are times where I feel half in, half out, and I'm not sure who the heck's doing what There are times where I think I'm in control, but as soon as I try to do something a little different, it's obvious I'm not in control. And there are times where I'm positive that wasn't me. So, yeah... nice mix

Thoughts can be the same. Sometimes I'm not paying attention, and hear a thought about doing something. So, I go to do it, and then realize that thought couldn't have come from me (too out of the blue, and/or didn't sound like me).

Skink wrote:So now instead of impersonating me, she just bugs me openly which I guess is kind of an improvement?

Yeah

Skink wrote:Well, I don't actually get the blackouts (I think)

Hmm... yeah, I didn't think I had them either. Wrong

Freud does this to Jef. Jef can't handle Freud's emotions so he lets him take front.

This happpens to me all the time. They never even completely take over, I can still see what they're doing and move a bit. That's what made the diagnosing so hard.

We were/are really sneaky with our main too

Skink wrote::lol: Well, I don't actually get the blackouts (I think), that's why I said they were being sneaky. The ones who do take over (at least I think they are, it's really hard to tell!) have been impersonating me, both outside and inside

Our main didn't think she had time loss because (she didn't realize this but) she'd ask in our head questions about her day like "how did my boots get mud on them? I don't remember that..." and she'd get back a 2-3second visual memory snippet of walking through a puddle from whoever it was that walked through a puddle. Or if someone outside asked her what she'd been doing during the week someone inside would say inside by impersonating her voice and then she'd say the answer out loud to whoever she was talking to (we still want her to come across normal to other people and part of being normal incorporates thinking you know what you've been doing with your time).
She only realized just how much time she was losing once we started seeing a really good therapist and he would ask her what she'd been doing for the past few days and none of us would give her an answer, we'd be silent (so that she finally became aware that we do exist and that she was, absolutely beyond doubt, losing lots of time).
Once we got the communication book, we wrote in there some really light bad things she'd missed out on during our day and she has gradually begun to realize that she is grateful for all that we do for her. Now that she is realizing that she appreciates us and realizes that she doesn't mind the times we take over (because she knows we make her life a bit more bearable) we have been more free to gradually start making ourselves known to her. So now we don't need to be as sneaky which is good because now we can help her more easily too.
I don't know if what I've said will help you but at the very least it should give you a clearer idea of why your others are behaving the way that they are.

Salted lipstick,

Wow, I hadn't really thought about it that way. I could kind of guess at some of it, but the way you put it made it a lot clearer indeed! Thank you

I can kind of relate to this, I think! I've just spent the last week as various personas, according to my partner, but the majority of the time I convinced myself I was normal. To the point of not communicating with them (as I think I was one!!) or taking any measures to look at why things were going wrong, I wasn't speaking properly or behaving appropriately. I totally missed them, and I was them, which has set me right back. It seems to me they had me fooled the whole time, right up untill this morning when it all began to make some sense.
The thing is, previous to this I was getting really good at knowing when they are there and communicating a lot with them, and them with me. This was working at helping me maintain some level of control over myself, less sudden switching etc. It had all been going really well for the longest time in ages, and they went and got sneaky on me gggrrrrr.

salted lipstick wrote:she'd ask in our head questions about her day like "how did my boots get mud on them? I don't remember that..." and she'd get back a 2-3second visual memory snippet of walking through a puddle from whoever it was that walked through a puddle. Or if someone outside asked her what she'd been doing during the week someone inside would say inside by impersonating her voice and then she'd say the answer out loud to whoever she was talking to

They did/do something like that to me, too. I think it's cool... confusing to the hosts, but awesome that alters can do this stuff