Hard time for all with DID?

I don't know if we can keep Alia in school or not I'm certainly trying. Dolci and Castro have been having a field day with mutilating and Alia can't seem to stay around. Our Psychologist today said that having trouble right now for the last couple of days and the next couple of days is very common for people with DID because of RA(ritual abuse). Autumnal equinox arrived Wednesday night at approximately 11:15 EST. This year is the first harvest moon at the autumnal equinox since 1991 and will not occur again until 2029.
Why is this all important? If you are one of the DIDers that has suffered RA then you may know that these things come with rituals of their own (not good ones if you're on the end of the abused). You may not even realize anything other than this time of the year is always bad for you, along with Halloween and some others. Alia doesn't even understand the significance of why she is suffering so badly right now and she knows that her dad was the leader of the group and has seen some VERY limited flashes of things done to her that we've allowed her to see.

I just thought I would share this with everyone because we were talking about it today and she was saying how she has been totally swamped by calls and emails from her clients in crisis right now. I don't know if there are even any here that are in that category.
This was part sharing information and part hoping for some kind of support or advice for Alia right now. I fear sometimes that we will lose her for good either to going back home because of school or just killing herself-- which she has been talking about.

Thanks
Fen

I had been sort of freaking out for a whole week until the equinox passed and was very aware of the day and the moon but I don't know why. I was never involved in RA.

It was strange but things are much calmer now.

I'm sorry, guys I wish I had great advice to give. Just have to ride the week out, I guess, and know it'll get better. Have you tried looking for another place you guys can stay at, instead of going back home?

By the way, have you been writing to Alia in the journal? She said she's not getting much other than insults and scribbles, and I think it's making her feel more alone.

InfinitD wrote:I had been sort of freaking out for a whole week. I was never involved in RA.

Same. No ritual abuse that I'm aware of, but I've had a horrible week. It's making it incredibly hard for me to post Not over for me yet, though...

Hi Canolime,
I'm thinking she doesn't know what she is looking at sometimes. I think maybe she takes my things as her own in a more lucid time. I do write. Hell, I do much of her homework. The arguments that she talks about for that class that she stressed so much about are half mine. I guess I need to clarify that Fen is a name.

As far as the week being bad for you guys as well. Strange, huh? I know it is for many people. I'm not saying that you were in fact a victim of RA but I wish some one would find a reason for why so many people with abuse histories have a hard time with the moons if it isn't about RA.
I know what ours is about even though Alia is still somewhat in the dark.

Hope you guys feel better.

Alia wrote:I'm thinking she doesn't know what she is looking at sometimes. I think maybe she takes my things as her own in a more lucid time. I do write. Hell, I do much of her homework. The arguments that she talks about for that class that she stressed so much about are half mine. I guess I need to clarify that Fen is a name.

I think you're right. She doesn't seem to fully understand what's going on. Two littles (Madison and Addison) posted, and when Alia saw the posts, she asked me if the posts were real. And she said she saw names in the journal, but she didn't know if the names belonged to you guys. I think she's just finding this stuff a little hard to accept. Clarification would be good... might help her understand

Alia wrote:As far as the week being bad for you guys as well. Strange, huh? I know it is for many people. I'm not saying that you were in fact a victim of RA but I wish some one would find a reason for why so many people with abuse histories have a hard time with the moons if it isn't about RA.
I know what ours is about even though Alia is still somewhat in the dark.

Yeah, it is strange. Over the last few years, I've noticed I don't feel well around this time of the year. Um. You know, I think I actually get like this around six months from now, too. I know this year it was the week around March 21st... that's actually spring equinox, huh? Odd
It would be interesting to know why a full moon affects people like that.

Alia wrote:Hope you guys feel better.

Thanks. I hope you do, too.

I do exist. I'm not stupid and who ever that is doesn't need to talk about me like I'm not here and like I'm stupid.

All of this is really hard and confusing. It doesn't help to find injuries and emails about things I didn't write and a psychologist that I never get to talk to. I'm not stupid or slow. I'm really confused right now and very sad and I don't want to be here anymore.

I am Alia

No one said you're stupid

Alia wrote:All of this is really hard and confusing.

I know it is. That's why we were talking about clarification. If you understand it better, it won't be so confusing.

Alia wrote:Hi Canolime,
I'm thinking she doesn't know what she is looking at sometimes. I think maybe she takes my things as her own in a more lucid time. I do write. Hell, I do much of her homework. The arguments that she talks about for that class that she stressed so much about are half mine. I guess I need to clarify that Fen is a name.

Can he/she just take over from now on and get rid of me? I don't want to be anymore. Is that possible? You say they don't want to go back to dad's. I don't want to be out in the world alone anymore. If he can write arguments and take over at the psychologist's office, then I must not be needed anyway. I seem to just be in the way and seem to be the dull bulb in the chandelier.

Hi Everyone
I always woundered why Heidi had such a reaction to the phases of the moon it all makes more since now for alot of the time when it is the time of year when the season change she gets such horrible panic attacs. Her flashbacks also seem to get stronger as well and scare her even more that they normally do. Though one of us will try to take the flashback for her so that she wont see it this way she doesn't panic or try to harm herself though for Heidi Halloween is like a release of sorts for she sees it as the one day where myself and the others with in her can come out and not have to worry for it is common for people to act in a different manner on Halloween. Johnny

Alia wrote:Can he/she just take over from now on and get rid of me? I don't want to be anymore. Is that possible? You say they don't want to go back to dad's. I don't want to be out in the world alone anymore. If he can write arguments and take over at the psychologist's office, then I must not be needed anyway. I seem to just be in the way and seem to be the dull bulb in the chandelier.

It won't be this bad forever, Alia. All of you are needed... without you, the system would be even more of a mess. Believe me, it's not the same without having the original host around.

One alter can only do so much, and Fen is already trying to help out as much as possible.