DID help

trebenstan wrote:The girl is the hardest one because I'm a male and she wants things that I don't.

I'll bet

A lot of nightmares last night. It was terrible. I finally feel like I've blacked out. I remember keeping my eye on the clock. I would have terrible feelings, several spiders on my arm in bed. I didn't see them, but that's how it felt. Sometimes I felt like someone was stroking my neck. The next time I looked at the clock, so much time, typically an hour or so had gone by.

I then felt as if I was being interviewed by myself. This person seemed to be interrogating me about my alters and those I spoke about on this forum. It was when this happened, I made sure I was wasn't dreaming. I plan on leaving a journal out tonight.

This all felt like a power play. This person confronted me about an arrangement I made with my people about a year ago. I offered them 40% of control in my life. They could have that time to do what they want, but I wanted to be present. Now, it seems that being honest about all of this had led to them feeling threatened.

What does this mean? How is this a form of protection!?

I'm sorry I didn't post another reply. I really meant to How are things going?

It's a form of protection becuase your alter is trying to make sure that you're safe. Telling people about what happened may not be safe in that alter's mind. S/he might think an ab*ser can find you through your posts, or that knowing all this will overwhelm you. Is there any well to tell them that it's ok, that this won't hurt you?
Sorry if this isn't very helpful.

This is an old thread from the year before I found the DID Forum, before I knew anything about DID, but I am feeling the impulse to post a comment. I think if I had ever read this thread before now I would have been triggered. Even now I am triggered. The poster trebenstan was new here and was only just discovering his own DID, and yet even then he was so much more aware of his system than I was when I came here.

trebenstan wrote:That's what so confusing to me right now. I have one right now with me. When you talked about J, I guessed that triggered it. It's sometimes hard to even tell who is talking to other people. Is it me or them? Sometimes we'll both be talking to people and the conversation confuses people because they believe I'm contradicting myself, when it's really a three way conversation.

Canolime's comments about her alter J were enough to rouse my Alter 2, who is a similar type. That's normal enough for me but what triggered me was this reply by trebenstan. It got me all worked up. This is how I am now. For a couple of years now verbal communication has been difficult for me, due to too many minds trying to direct one mouth. Trying to produce coherent sentences out of the multiple lines of mostly parallel thought going on in my head, I get wedged, gears bind, I halt. I am more consistently functional online, where I/we can edit before I send.