My therapist said I sucked.

You need a new therapist. End of conversation. If she's trying to hurt you and intentionally keeping herself ignorant she is no help to you and isn't worth your time, money, or tears.

Like some other people, I have been in a somewhat similar place as you. Not SO bad as a therapist plainly saying I suck (gee!!!), but working with one that did not know what she was doing, and liked to use mockery to 'get things moving'.

It sounds like that therapist is at a loss with you (like burn-out), wharf rat, and it sounds like you know what you need: empathy. You need a therapist with better relational skills, as you are very well aware that what you are bringing to the table are transference issues. The therapist is only getting defensive, indicating she doesn't know what to do. I would actually not be surprised that (a wise) part of you is (still) checking out this therapist, and is now (appropriately) coming to the conclusion that this is not the right party to bring your more important issues to!

Well done!!! Time to move on.

I'd like to add some nuance to TwilightInsight's comment that certain things NEVER should happen, btw. Taking or making a phone call, if it happens... or leaving a session in tears (not unfinished, or upset about the therapist, though, hopefully), are 'imperfections' that can be dealt with in a healthy way, and would help setting great real-life examples of how to deal with some real-life situations. But of course, that should not be the tone of the therapy or relationship.

Try to compare 2 or 3 therapists before you make a choice, and see and ask straight out how they work with situations/examples that you now have. I ended up doing that too with my therapist #9, and I have finally found someone who really seems capable and reliable.

Good luck!

pob wrote:I'd like to add some nuance to TwilightInsight's comment that certain things NEVER should happen, btw. Taking or making a phone call, if it happens... or leaving a session in tears (not unfinished, or upset about the therapist, though, hopefully), are 'imperfections' that can be dealt with in a healthy way, and would help setting great real-life examples of how to deal with some real-life situations. But of course, that should not be the tone of the therapy or relationship.

I meant due to the therapist, in regards to walking out distressed and crying. Sorry I wasn't more clear.

-Mik

pob wrote:

Mr. Bates wrote:That was the correct response I was looking for from you. I can definitely say with ease you need a new therapist. Your's sounds like a real dumb twat who should have her licence revoked.

Mr. Bates, it is arrogant to say "this was the correct response I was looking for". Those words suggest you are in a position of control. That is such bad gaming for people on this forum who have been abused (i.e. controlled) by abusive people. I know that in the end you are well-meaning, but I am letting you know this is NOT okay with ME!

Pob, straight up, shut the hell up. Just shut the hell up. I've been here for a few years now, and there have been just as many fakes seeking attention on here as there have been real people with real issues. And by answer I was looking for, I meant Wharf gave the answer of someone who sincerely needs help. Which is good. Because I want to help. I want them to feel this forum is somewhere they can go when the real world sucks a little too much that day.

I am in control. I'm in control of this forum. It's my job to weed out the attention seekers from real people with DID looking for answers so they don't cause any damage. Go white knight elsewhere and stop stepping on my toes every chance you get.

omg!! i'm so sorry you had to go through that. that is such a turn off, dont' get discouraged there are alot of therapists out there who are crap, anyone can put themselves through school and get the title of therapist and could not know what they are talking about. i had to go through a few to find the right one and i did i couldn't be more happier with her now. don't give up go find someone who can help you cuz u deserve it!!

get a new therapist. my therapist helped from day 1 and even our first phone call when we first talked was helpful. the therapist and the person in therapy both have to work together and be compatible.

I agree with the general census of everyone here. You need a new therapist that will abide by a code of conduct and help you in the way you need to be helped. It is time to change.

~Yuriko