A little bit about me...

Howdy forum!

I'm new here, as you may have surmised. I'm a 32 yo female, been married for going on 13 yrs. Was wondering if anyone has/had a situation similar to mine. I have suspected for years that there was something "different" about me, though I have in the past had a tendency towards melodrama for attention - which has always led to my wife poo-pooing any new "issue" I came up with, as it was likely just another crutch/excuse or effort at getting some negative attention. I had mentioned years ago that I wondered if I might have multiple personality disorder, which was immediately shot down. My situation has now changed: I was "officially" diagnosed with DID in Dec 2008, much to my wife's surprise. She has accepted it and we've tried to move on. The [ b]problem[/b] is that I am trying to find a therapist who (ironically) does not tell me that it is my wife who tried to put the idea into my head in the first place. Has anyone else ever come up against this???

Don't get me wrong, my wife has been supportive all along (in many cases, the only one who was) but it's just driving me nuts that the majority of therapists out there are so disbelieving and quick to suspect foul play or fakery. I have enough issues of my own regarding therapy, having had some negative issues with it in the past. I've no desire to play guinea pig anymore with psych meds or *gasp* more electro-shock therapy (years ago, for unrelated reasons, but still), etc. Don't they get it? Why can't they have more productive and less-scary approaches to actually helping me???

I have, near as I can tell (my wife and I differ on this ) 6-9 different alters. Once, they gave their names to my wife, but we refer to them using pseudonyms now, more of convenience than disrespect. I have a beligerant 12 yo boy who causes no end of grief and troublemaking, referred to simply as the beligerent one; a "scaredy-cat" with a british accent who is relatively "normal" but who disappears in times of stress or extreme tension, f I think, not sure; my "frog-face" - an escape artist of unknown gender/age due to the fact that its sole purpose seems to be to tune out when I can't deal with something. A very unfortunate thing, since it can happen no matter WHAT I'm doing at the time.; an angry and EXTREMELY violent male personality who for all intents and purposes seems purely evil, and doesn't talk much; my "faker", who seems completely responsible, and I would dare to say, the "ideal me", who handles all my intellectual matters and got me through college, and the most well-balanced; an alter referred to as "Bobo", since it seems either autistic or very young (not sure which, nor which gender) - has anyone seen the movie "Walk Like a Man" with Howie Mandel? You'll know what I'm talking about and how s/he got the name. There is a 36 yo Russian woman named "Sasha" who actually speaks Russian (though I've never taken it) and speaks english with a Russian accent, another male personality that seems very similar to the angry violent one, though on a lesser scale... there are more I think, but again I can't be sure. This is just a general (though lengthy - sorry) overview.

I am getting to know them all, bit by bit, though at times that can be a very awkward or intense process. I'd welcome any and all advice that you felt free to toss my way.

I will post more as I get more familiar and/or comfortable here.

Cheers!

Welcome, jacksenigma!

I probably won't be of much help, but I did want to welcome you, and I will comment on some of what you've written

jacksenigma wrote:I was "officially" diagnosed with DID in Dec 2008, much to my wife's surprise. She has accepted it and we've tried to move on. The problem is that I am trying to find a therapist who (ironically) does not tell me that it is my wife who tried to put the idea into my head in the first place.

Why would they think she put the idea into your head, when she had dismissed it, years before?

jacksenigma wrote:it's just driving me nuts that the majority of therapists out there are so disbelieving and quick to suspect foul play or fakery.

Too many people fake it, I guess Do your therapists believe in DID? A lot don't, so maybe they don't believe you, because they don't believe in the disorder...?

jacksenigma wrote:electro-shock therapy

Cool bunch of alters

jacksenigma wrote:There is a 36 yo Russian woman named "Sasha" who actually speaks Russian (though I've never taken it)

You'd think that would be interesting to the therapists who don't believe you

Welcome... it's really encouraging to see someone in a lasting relationship Do your any of your alters have a relationship with your wife? Do they know about each other?

Do you have any idea about what the underlying cause of your dissociation is? Sorry if this is a rude and blunt question. Feel free to ignore it, heh.

jacksenigma wrote: My situation has now changed: I was "officially" diagnosed with DID in Dec 2008, much to my wife's surprise. She has accepted it and we've tried to move on. The [ b]problem[/b] is that I am trying to find a therapist who (ironically) does not tell me that it is my wife who tried to put the idea into my head in the first place. Has anyone else ever come up against this???

Er... eh?! I don't understand why they would think she put the idea in your head if she didn't think you had it in the first place? Doesnt make sense to us.

jacksenigma wrote: Don't get me wrong, my wife has been supportive all along (in many cases, the only one who was) but it's just driving me nuts that the majority of therapists out there are so disbelieving and quick to suspect foul play or fakery.

yeah that's kinda normal with DID. I've been point blank told that DID isnt a valid diagnosis in the UK. Er, ok. tell that to the people in my head

jacksenigma wrote: I have enough issues of my own regarding therapy, having had some negative issues with it in the past. I've no desire to play guinea pig anymore with psych meds or *gasp* more electro-shock therapy (years ago, for unrelated reasons, but still), etc. Don't they get it? Why can't they have more productive and less-scary approaches to actually helping me???

YIKES!!!

jacksenigma wrote: I have, near as I can tell (my wife and I differ on this ) 6-9 different alters. Once, they gave their names to my wife, but we refer to them using pseudonyms now, more of convenience than disrespect.

I would find that disrespectful, whether intended or not. If Mara called me "the xxxx one" when she knows my name I'd be annoyed. But that's just me!
-Sabrina

jacksenigma wrote: There is a 36 yo Russian woman named "Sasha" who actually speaks Russian (though I've never taken it) and speaks english with a Russian accent,

I have a totally French speaking alter & two who speak both English & French, tho my French is limited to 2 words!!

jacksenigma wrote: I am getting to know them all, bit by bit, though at times that can be a very awkward or intense process.

Yeah it can be a pain in the ass but it's so much easier once you do!!

jacksenigma wrote: I'd welcome any and all advice that you felt free to toss my way.

No advice! but welcome to the forums

Collingwood wrote:Welcome... it's really encouraging to see someone in a lasting relationship Do your any of your alters have a relationship with your wife? Do they know about each other?

Do you have any idea about what the underlying cause of your dissociation is? Sorry if this is a rude and blunt question. Feel free to ignore it, heh.

I know you weren't talking to us, but thought I'd answer.

Mara's partner knows & regularly speaks to 5 alters. There are others she knows of, but they don't come out/speak to her for various reasons. In our system we are all co-conscious. There are 2 who choose to stay away from the rest of us, but whatever
-Kerry

canolime wrote:Why would they think she put the idea into your head, when she had dismissed it, years before?

I'm not sure, but that seems to be the first conclusion ppl jump to, that it was someone close to me putting these ideas into my head or trying to influence me somehow...

canolime wrote:too many people fake it, I guess Do your therapists believe in DID? A lot don't, so maybe they don't believe you, because they don't believe in the disorder...?

No, my therapist told me he doesnt personally believe in DID, but that if he were any of his colleagues, that is what they would tell me i have. Wtf? Anyway, now im in another state and i havent the foggiest idea where to look for a new therapist... any places recommended to look for portland oregon for someone with low/no money???

jacksenigma wrote:There is a 36 yo Russian woman named "Sasha" who actually speaks Russian (though I've never taken it)

camolime wrote:You'd think that would be interesting to the therapists who don't believe you

yeah i suppose so but she's a "new development" lol... no chance to discuss her yet...

Sorry if this is a bit obvious... but google can do wonders.

http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&clien ... =&gs_rfai=

I don't know about the 'no money' part. If you have insurance, that may help... other than that all I can say is, apply at a bunch of employment agencies, call them every day and get some temp work to pay for therapy. That's what I'm doing. There's plenty of general labour to go around. I hate gen labour, its so... unstimulating... but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.

jacksenigma wrote:I'm not sure, but that seems to be the first conclusion ppl jump to, that it was someone close to me putting these ideas into my head or trying to influence me somehow...

That seems odd

jacksenigma wrote:No, my therapist told me he doesnt personally believe in DID, but that if he were any of his colleagues, that is what they would tell me i have. Wtf? Anyway, now im in another state and i havent the foggiest idea where to look for a new therapist... any places recommended to look for portland oregon for someone with low/no money???

Um... okay? And why the heck is he telling you what his colleagues would say, if he doesn't even believe in it? He sounds a little weird

There should be some sort of program available (at least for a discount). Call/search around?

jacksenigma wrote:yeah i suppose so but she's a "new development" lol... no chance to discuss her yet...

Oh, okay

Sorry its been so long since we've posted... life, ya know?

I've met/been informed of two more alters: one named "sam", F, and completely deaf - she communicates via ASL... and a little, "emily" around 4 or 5 i think. I suspect that emily *might* be the original, but not sure. It's really awkward socially when i'm out in public and sam comes out... you've no idea of the terror of not being able to hear (or maybe some of u do) but i am occassionally co-conscious with her.

Another possible alter, or maybe a latent manifestation of one of the others i'm already familiar with... is that there are times when some random trigger, or memory, or what have u and its like my brain and nerves go on hiatus... for all intents and purposes, i'm "there", but unable to form words or communicate in any way. My coordination goes to $#%^ and my fingers curl sometimes... its almost like i've had a stroke or something. It's scary and frustrating!!!

Sorry i havent responded to some of your comments... this is actually the second time i had to type this. Like i looked away from the screen for a second and everything i wrote was gone...

So i'll try to respond when i feel more "with it".

Thanks!

jacksenigma wrote:Sorry its been so long since we've posted... life, ya know?

Yeah, I know

jacksenigma wrote:It's really awkward socially when i'm out in public and sam comes out... you've no idea of the terror of not being able to hear (or maybe some of u do) but i am occassionally co-conscious with her.

Wow yeah, that has to be scary. It's cool that she knows sign language, though

jacksenigma wrote:Another possible alter, or maybe a latent manifestation of one of the others i'm already familiar with... is that there are times when some random trigger, or memory, or what have u and its like my brain and nerves go on hiatus... for all intents and purposes, i'm "there", but unable to form words or communicate in any way. My coordination goes to $#%^ and my fingers curl sometimes... its almost like i've had a stroke or something. It's scary and frustrating!!!

May I point out a possibility? Baby alter. I could see that happening, if you're co-conscious with him/her.

jacksenigma wrote:Sorry i havent responded to some of your comments... this is actually the second time i had to type this. Like i looked away from the screen for a second and everything i wrote was gone...

Well, that's frustrating. Think someone erased it?