Hi

Hello i hope its alright to be here. I am a fifty year old woman who is really struggling with who I am. I have held down a good job since i left school all those years ago but have always found life difficult. i am going to be honest as lies have ruled our lives for years and now I want it to change. I don't make friends easily as we have issues around trust but i have always wanted to be normal like everyone else.For many many years I have led two lives the one that was day to day and the other what I now know was a life of ritual abuse. I kept it all safe in my boxes in my head until it all went wrong and everything toppled out of control. I think I may have been diagnosed wrongly with epilepsy when I was 14. I think it was mistaken for switching. I am so struggling with my others the world feels a scary place. I have been seeing a CBT therapist for a couple of months who said to my psychiatrist she believed I have DID i sit there when I see her hoping I can keep grounded to time and place but frequently I cannot remember what I said or the time has gone and I feel exhausted I hope you understand what we are trying to say and I hope its been ok to say this

Thanks for listening

Chez

Welcome to the board. Sounds like you got a long ways to go, but some stability in your life is not completely out of reach.

First thing's first, you need a therapist who actually specializes in dissociative disorder, especially DID. They are out there if you look. Secondly, there is no drug for this, don't let anyone lie to you and make you believe some magical pill will make it all better. It's not a chemical imbalance in the brain, its a powerful defense mechanism designed by your subconcious. Finally, and most importantly, you need to establish communication with your other sides. You have zero level of communication, and that's not going to help you at all. Most people start with journaling, leaving notes for alters (the other personalities) in places they can find easily. (next to the bed, on a counter, etc).

I've given you the basic tools you need, hopefully you find them useful in your journey

Welcome

Welcome, Chez!

hello and welcome