flashback triggering. :(

I've been had the flashbacks. One of them tracked me back in the day I was born. The first time, I was very scare because in the flashback everyone try to kill me. What I felt, super scare and numb. This happened before I knew I have DID. I believed, the whole story was truth back then. After I know I have DID, I have the flashback again but this time I look things differently. All things happened when I was an infant so I thought maybe nobody want to kill me. I was born when my mother had been pregnant for 7 months, everyone thought I was going to dead and yet they didn't want me to be alive either. (What I always know nobody want me.) When the flashback happen again so I started to talk to myself that the whole thing happened when we was really young and the people who want us to die cannot hurt us or kill us anymore. I still don't really know what the truth was but I be able to calm a little one down and I don't have this flashback again. I knew what my father and my mother told me on that day, is not correspondence but I don't want to ask them for the truth either.

Sometime we just scare when we was young but when we grown up we don't scare them any more or less scare. Please be aware of this and believe in yourself. I believe in myself my memory coming back because I'm ready to accept them and be able and ready to cope them. Now I'm doing ok with my flashbacks, eventhough I still have a panic time to time but everything around me get better. That what I feel.

Hope this help.

All the best,
Ray