New here. Nervous

4 years ago, I saw a therapist for the first time because I started having extreme memory loss after a trip back home that sort of brought all the trauma to mind (well, the stuff I didn't repress). The therapist diagnosed me with DID but I thought she was insane at the time. It just didn't seem to fit. I've been going back and forth between acceptance and denial ever since. I recognize three full alters, one of which has two alters and many itty bitty parts frozen in time. But I think there's still a couple more because I've been told repeatedly "There are 7 here". I feel so silly because I've been like this ever since I could remember, but acknowledging it as DID makes me feel like I'm making it up. At what point did you accept it? I'm really good at being co-conscious for the most part (MOST part), but everyone's goal is to move through life unnoticed, which means I can switch rapdily without much detection. I want to fully admit DID to myself and my SO, but I...I don't know. Just not ready to accept it.

DID is a hard pill to swallow, but let me tell you, the sooner you do, the better. This isn't something you can just wish away, or ignore. You need to come to terms with this and start working on relationships with your alters, and discover the rest. Think of them as people, because they are (in a way) seperate people from you.

Hi Sunshyne(s),

Welcome to the forums.

I don't personally have DID--but I can relate to what you said about accepting that I have a particular disorder. I mean the part about feeling like I made it up. Well, you're definitely not making it up.

This is a pretty safe place to discuss it. I'll let the other members answer, since they have a lot more experience with DID. I hope that you stick around and that you find the support you're looking for from other members and their stories.

I can't tell ya to not be nervous, but if I can help reassure you and get you to a place where you can accept and then start working on your challenges, I'll be happy.

(((HUGS)))

--Frayed

Welcome!

You sound a lot like me when I first realized what was going on. Even now I still have moments of doubt. Sometimes it's obvious that I have DID, other times it seems impossible. Hopefully you'll be able to get to know your alters better, and that might help you accept. One thing that helps me a little is that I was keeping a journal around the time I found out I had DID. When I look at the entries I remember why I thought I had DID in the first place, and that makes it easier to believe. Maybe try writing down the things that make you think your therapist was right, like maybe making a note in a journal when you hear the others say things like "There are 7 here".
Otherwise, I think time is going to help you the most.

Wishing you the best!

I am new here, too, and I can relate. My therapist has been encouraging me to receive the information and voices with an open mind. sometimes I can't deal with listening, so then she says share with them how I am feeling and be honest about it. (this was because an alter was mad that I wasn't admitting that I didn't want to deal with some of the more difficult stuff.)

a big part of me doesn't believe myself--but then other parts get very upset and s**c*d*l. For me, it's my emotional reactions that I trust. I know I am not making up feelings.

indigo girl

thanks for the welcome

Coming out about DID has been a fun game of manipulation. Theres not a part of me that wants to be acknoweldged, but lately I keep hearing threats like "Do it or I will" but when I go to do it, I oddly draw a blank or stop believing it. I'm giving it time...

Journal idea is great, thanks. I used to keep one. I should start up again. You're right about it helping the belief. I have an entry from when I was about 15, way back when I thought schizophrenia and MPD were the same thing (do you know unbelievably common that is? Drives me crazy!). Well anyway, in it, I started to list the people inside and what their ages were. I didn't think much of it until more recent years.