what

there is no past and there is no future. its only right now, why why why does everyone keep telling me theres a path we're going, and why are people lying to me, telling me about long term memories, that they link to the past, something that didnt happen, wont happen. ive never had a memory over a year, they dont exist. why does everyone tell me they do? maybe everyone isnt real, maybe everythings just my head playing tricks on me? maybe we're in our own personal hell for doing something bad in a previous life? no hell doesnt smell this pleasant, but it could all be fake.

god dammit we're confused...memories are lies, they dont exist they dont

Memories are real. They exist. And if you don't except them, they'll just haunt you forever.

Except your memories, Johnny boy, thats all you can do towards taking one step forward.

but i dont have memories. thats why i find it so hard to accept they exist.

Yes, but you can't just come to be, you had to exist at some point before that.

Find an old family photo album. Pictures will show you who you were at that exact moment in time. Proof that you have a past.

My memories maybe mixed or gone, but I know I have a past, and if I keep searching, I'll find it.

They are real, they do exist, but you were so hurt they have escaped to the far reaches of your mind to hide from you so as not to hurt you again and again.
When you are ready, these memories will surface, they will aid in your recovery. Do not force them, it will only frustrate you, I promise when you are ready, they will come.