Going Down? (Need Help)

Gotta ask this first, in case Mr. Bates doesn't want to read all this mess. What the heck are you doing in your LJ and what exactly is an LJ? Remember, I'm just a single minded Mono and my tired brain can't figure it out, lol

And if you're planning on reading this, better go on to the bathroom, get a soda, take some tylenol, lol, first.


Things did not go well. I let him know I'd "called" in sick for him and we needed to talk. I'd already started my journal of how the last 24 hours and asked him to do the same. He wrote some assinine paragraph that looked like a school report. So, I explained it more clearly, that I wanted a play by play of his last 24 hours. He got started and the next thing I know, he's broken his pen into 4 pieces and thrown the notebook. I got it, looked at it, the beginning was okay, but when he got to the part about the police pulling up behind him on his walk home, Mr. Angry took over, scribbled some profanities and I guess that's when the pad got thrown. While I was trying to make out what he'd written, Matt popped back and I showed him the pad. He looked at it and smiled??? Then I read what I'd written about his plans to rob the store he was working at and he said he just told me those things to get a reaction out of me!!! Now, if I believed that, HOW sick would that be! Knowing that it was Monday, the day after Mother's Day and I'd just lost my mother and all the financial strain I was under and he said he was just wanting to F**k with my head!!!! Not that I believed it, the messing with my head part. I believe he (Matt) had no idea what the plans were or who or what I'd been told and was trying to ease my mind??? I then confronted him about the money he was using to buy beer and gas with. Then I got Mr. Angry back and he said it was none of my business where he got his money from, it was HIS. I tried to explain to him how tight money was right now and not that I wanted him stealing money, but IF it wasn't stolen, then why didn't he buy himself some cigarettes or milk or bread or something for the house, other than the case of beer and 2 40oz bottles I'd found out in the weight room/music studio. He never asked who told me these things, so he didn't know if he'd said them or somebody else had been snitchin' on him. I tried to tell him he'd broken one of the main rules of the lease he'd signed by having alcohol on the property. He tried to tell me the lease said "in the house". I went to get his lease, to show him what it said and he got madder! Didn't want to see the lease and told me to just go ahead and kick him out. I told him I didn't want to do that, but he HAD to play by the rules and if he didn't think he could, he was free to leave at any time. I told him if he left, I would want his cell phone back, seeing as he's had it since Nov and never paid anything on his bill and has been texting when he doesn't have that on his plan, so it's costing us .15 per message! He didn't care! Told me if I took his phone, he'd go and get the phone from the 18 yr old girl, living here. I told him that I wouldn't allow that, that she'd done everythng she was supposed to be doing AND had already paid for a month of service on the phone. He then said he'd go in there and punch her in her face and take it! Then he jumped up off my bed, went to the bedroom door, it was locked, that didn't stop him, he twisted the knob and it just popped open. I stood in the doorway in front of him, motioned for the girl to go to my room. I stood inbetween her and Matt as she left the room and he told me "You think you standing there is going to keep me from getting her?" and I told him he'd have to go thru me first. She and I got into my room, I explained what was going on. OH YEA, during this time of him breaking the door, I called my husband, told him the number to our local police department (he was in FL) and he could here what was being said and when he heard what Matt was saying, he told me to call 911 before Matt started fighting everyone in the house. So, I did, while I was getting the girl out of the room. The cops come, tell him he's got to go. They ask about the other 2 and I told them that they had not broken any rules and had no problem with them staying. But, the best friend said was leaving, too. While they walked around the house to get their things together, Matt would pass by me and call me "Beeaach" or "Ho". The girl, who is also the best friends girlfriend for the last 6 years, was so shaken up. A couple of days earlier, Matt had gone into the room, while she was in there by herself, locked the door behind him and was cussing her out, up in her face and wouldn't let her leave the room. I told her all she had to do was holler and I'd be the first one to kick down the door! She was so upset that day and I couldn't understand why the boyfriend didn't say something to Matt? I told them both they could stay. The best friend is in GED classes and the girl just finished her GED on Saturday and I had her scheduled to take her driving test on this Friday. But the guy said where Matt went, he went. Matt was being very aggravating while he was getting his things and the police got a little upset with him, but they finally got few bags and headed out. I asked the girl what she was planning, because her father had come to meet me a week or so, ago and I promised him that if the boys got kicked out, I would not put her out. I'd drive her where she needed to go, but I would not put her out walking. The guys started hauling their things, 2 houses down, to the neighbor that I often speak of and set their things down. The girl was helping them and I asked her what she was planning on doing. Matt had kept boasting to the police he had plenty of people to call and places they could stay. She told me she was going to leave with the boys! I told her to at least stay in the house until the guys found a ride, but she wouldn't. They left and the police informed them that once they walked off my property, they were not to come back and if they did, it would be criminal trespassing. They left. I went around, locking the doors and went to turn on my alarm system and saw the "ready" light wasn't lit. I went from door to door and didn't notice anything, until I looked up at my sliding door to my patio and saw that my alarm wires to that door had been cut! Now this freaked me out! So, with no wiring experience, I climbed on a chair, took a knife, stripped the wires and twisted them back together. I'm surprised I didn't get electrocuted! Tried to calm down, lit a cigarette, went to the bathroom (I know TMI) and there was a knock on the bathroom window!! I freak, pull up my pants, open the blind and there stands Matt! He wanted to know if they could come back inside until their ride arrived. I told him no, sorry, but no. After the way I'd been treated and if I let them back in the house, I had no idea what Mr. Angry would do (he'd choked his grandmother at one time and when Matt realized what had happened, he stabbed himself with a pair of scissors (his first, but not only attempt at sui)).
My husband was back on the road and had taken the 4 yr old with him (over night deliver), but I had 2 other children in the house to worry about, and myself, of course. So, now I'm even more freaked,out of my nerve pills, due to missing last weeks P doc appointment. So, I guess I get a little paranoid, with the alarm wires being cut and such. So, I'm wide awake, even though I hadn't slept more than an hour in 2 days with this mess, so I get a pistol we got from my mother's house when she died. Sorry, but being from the south, carrying owning a gun is no big deal. But only for protection. You never know when you're gonna pull up in your driveway and find a wild animal on your porch. So, I'm caring this revolver around, peaking out the windows, not even realizing I have no bullets in the gun! And with a revolver, it's pretty easy to see there are no bullets in it, so the only use it was to me was to throw it if anything happened, lol. I could've gotten my husband's .357 but it has a trigger lock and I have no idea where the key is, but it would be a better object to throw (sorry, having to put some humor in this bad situation). Then I walk through and there's a tap on my front window. It's Matt, again, saying he's cold and doesn't have a coat. I couldn't find his coat, so I gave him mine, slipped it through a window to him. He said he was thirsty, I gave him a can of soda, then he wanted a cigarette and I gave him the one I was smoking, told him I was tired and he needed to get out of the yard, before the police did a drive through and caught him. He started "spittin' game" at me, about I was suppose to be his mother and I was suposed to love him unconditionally and he couldn't believe that I'd do him this way. He tried to tell me he was hungry, but during our "talk" he ate 6 corn dogs! So, I knew that couldn't be true. When he saw he was getting no where with me, he made some smart a$$ remark and left. Then the phone started ringing. It was him using the girls phone, talking about they didn't have any friends or family that could come and get them and they were cold and they were so sorry and just wanted to come home. But even the father of the girl told me to stick to my guns and let them all learn about a lesson. Let them see that no one is going to put up with they way he acts and if his daughter chose to follow her boyfriend out into the cold, sitting under a carport (temp in the 50's, so I wasn't too concerned), let her see what it was like. Then she calls me and says the woman who's house they were at had let Matt in, because she knew him, but wouldn't let her and her boyfriend in, because she did not know them and could he and she come back home. I told her, that if they were so close to Matt, that they were willing to give everything up, to follow him no where, then they were willing to sneak him back into the house to do God knows what. I thought, okay, here's a lesson learned for her and her boyfriend, Matt's BEST friend. Matt had a warm house to stay in and even though they'd chosen to leave with him, he was willing to go inside and leave them in the cold!!! They asked if I'd give them a ride home. Couldn't do that, had 2 kids in the bed and wasn't going to leave them alone with Matt in the neighborhood. Told her how sorry I was, but this was one of those life's lessons they'd have to go through. I finally realized we had an organization that would put up homeless people or give them a ride to the county line, so another county with better facilities could pick them up and find them a place for the night and that would get them 40 miles closer to home. You have to go through the police to have this done, this time of night and I knew neither of them had any warrants out or past criminal histories, so I told her about them and she asked me to call them. I did and the cop I got informed me that he knew of the situation (small town) and the Mustard Seed (local org.) couldn't help them because of funds and the fact that they had a place to stay and chose to leave it, without being evicted. So, I call her back, tell her what they said and while I'm talking to her, she informs me that there are 3 cop cars in front of my house. I jump up, get dressed and go outside. They informed me, that they passed by and caught Matt trying to get through my back gate! Now, the girl was on the phone with me, supposedly under the carport of where Matt was staying. At this time of night, she would have heard him leave the house and I believe she was trying to distract me so Matt could get into the back yard! I was just about to tell her she and her boyfriend could stay in the weight room for the night! I told her that's what I thought she was doing and I needed to go and see what else the police needed. I told them about Matt being back in the yard, knocking on the windows, including the bathroom! One of the officers was the one that had pulled Matt over that morning and he gave me a completely different account of the situation. Matt wan't alone, as he claimed and the guy in the shed hadn't been out there all night, they'd been together and I have no idea what the truth of that night was. They went and warned him again and left. Next I hear from Matt, saying NOW the girl had kicked him out of the house and could I at least give them a ride somewhere. Again, I told him no, it was late, I was exhausted to the point I didn't trust myself to drive. He then told me that the girl wanted me to call the police on her, because it was too cold for her to stay outside and she'd rather be in jail!! I heard her in the background saying "NO I DID NOT" he went on to tell me she said she was GOING to trespass so I needed to go on and call the law on her. I knew better. I got a few more calls, but then they stopped. I sent a text to the girl and told her I was so sorry that things had turned out this way, but hope she learned a lesson on following someone blindly like that would get her. That I really cared for her and wished she were a stronger woman. The next morning, I'm still awake! And they call and say they've finally found a ride and could they come pick up some more of their stuff. I gave them the # to the police station and reminded them that they had been told to call when they wanted to get more things, due to the way Matt acted while he was getting his stuff the night before. The police came, they got some things and left.

End of Chapter!

LiveJournal, it's what all the hip kids are doing these days. It's basically an online journal, that you can share with friends and such. I usually post random $#%^, or daily $#%^. Never DID or anything TOO personal. And yeah, give me the quick summary, that wall of text is too high to climb.

We read it all, we couldn't completely follow everything that's happened with those friends of his and all, but we understand he's gone now, with the police?
That's a lot that was thrown at you, how are you doing now? Has anything happened since then? I'm sorry you have to see how ill Matt is while standing helplessly on the sideline, and while things are getting so extraordinarily out of hand ..

((((((((((((((((((((Pam))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I didn't want to call the police, but he was threatening to hit the bestfriend's girlfriend and I couldn't let that happen. When he loses control like that, he'll fight anybody and everybody. He kept telling me to call the police, because he could do a lot of damage before they got here. The police came and I explained that he had a lease, just signed the day before and had already broken the 2 rules that are cause for immediate eviction, having alcohol on the premises and threatening or doing physical violence to anything or person in this house. He told me he didn't intend on following the rules! I know how he switches and claims things were never said, so I had a tape recorder going the entire time, not for the police, because I didn't think it would go that far, but for him to hear what he says and prove to him that he says these things.

The police did make him leave and the friends of his, that had not broken any of the rules and had signed leases, chose to leave with him. Then the rest of the night was a nightmare. I'd go to the bathroom and hear someone tapping at my window, open the blinds and there he stands. Saying he's cold (it was in the 50's) hungry (ate 6 corndogs, right before he left) and just wanted to come back home. I figured it was time for some tough love and told him no. The window tappings went on for hours. No matter where I was in the house, there was tapping on the window. The police had already told him NOT to come back on the property without a police escort to pick up the rest of his things. Then the girl started calling, saying that the house they were at, 2 doors down, let Matt in her house for the night, but wouldn't let them. Come to find out, there was no one home at all at that house and she was just keeping me on the phone, while Matt was trying to get into my backyard, BUT while I was on the phone, with her telling me this sad story about her and her boyfriend being left outside while Matt, who caused all of this, was in a warm house, sleeping, 3 police cars came down the street. I went to the door and they informed me they'd just caught Matt trying to climb my fence! So he was never in the house!! The next day, I saw the neighbor's baby momma and went down to explain to her that I did not put them out, that they chose to leave. She said she didn't come home until 3 am and then let them all in the house to sleep! So, all lies. Then the next day, I get a call from a friend of theirs saying that the girl was 6 mos pregnant! I believe this was a ploy to make me feel bad, because if she was pregnant, someone forgot to inform her boyfriend, because upon cleaning up the room they were staying in, I found lots of used "birth control". Later, Matt said he just said all those things to mess with my head, but knowing the state of mind I'm in, with losing my mother and this being the day after mother's day and he says he wasn't going to do all the things he threatened, it was just to get a reaction out of me. Well, he got one, alright! He will always be my son. I love him with all my heart. But he needs to learn respect and responsibility. Maybe, years from now, he'll realize he has a family and that we do love him, but refuse to put ourselves through the mind games he plays. My husband has been telling him, as well as me, that he NEEDS to get into therapy. He says it's all my fault that he's not, because I didn't make the appointment for him. I'm suppose to be the mentor, the one that teaches them to do things for themselves. I gave him the number, offered to take him to my session to meet the P doc and the T, but he did all of this the day before the appointment! My T says I have the need to save the world, is that so bad. I don't want to save the world, but if I can help someone in need, I will. I don't have the finances to give them a life of luxury, but I can put a roof over their heads, feed them and do whatever it takes to get them on the right path. It's just the way my family has been for generations! My mother always talked about her parents taking ppl in, my parents did it and now I guess I'm just following a family tradition, but it seems the people I try to help, don't want a hand up, but a hand out. I'd love to stay in the mentoring program, but need to recover from this last episode. There is already a new foster child, next door, where I first met Matt. I know the foster mother is a foster mother from hell and I feel the need to reach out to this child to let her know that if she's locked out of the house or hungry, come here. I've seen this foster mother leave kids locked out of her house for an entire 12 hours! What were they supposed to do for food or if they had to use the bathroom?? They get breakfast and lunch at school, then Ramen Noodles for supper, from what I understand. This lady is getting God only knows what in benefits, but she's not using them on the kids, that's for sure! Our system is so screwed up! To get into the foster program, you pretty much need to be jobless to go to all the meetings and all adults in the house MUST attend. My husband is a truck driver, there is no way he can go to weekly meetings when he's not home for weeks at a time. So, here we are, willing to do whatever we can and we don't qualify! The mentoring program deals with kids that have been in the system and have turned 18 and the state is still willing to help them out with all types of benefits, but Matt let all that slip away, because he couldn't get up to go to school. I don't know, you'd think that a kid that grew up without a home or a family and finally gets one that truely cares, he'd do what he could to keep it, seeing as all the family he's had in the past has let him down so many times. From what I hear now, he's going to be headed to his grandmother's house (the mother of all the child m*lesters). He'll be in jail in a matter of no time. He's got 1 warrant in the next county and 2 here. I'm sure once he gets locked up, I'll start getting those expensive collect calls. I'm just taking things one moment at a time, trying not to worry about things I have no control over. I know I can't fix the world!! Cuz if I did, I'd go back to the old ways of hanging or execution for the really bad offenders. And for some, that caused pain to those that couldn't defend themselves, well, it wouldn't be so quick for them.

Love you all for caring and all the help. I'm made some friends here, so I'll still be around, if anyone needs any mono minded advise ((((((Everyone))))))

Pam

I just have to say that I think what you're doing is amazing. Many people would not go through the trouble or money to help these kids, as I'm sure you know. If nothing else, give yourself a big pat on the back.