how far will an alt go to harm/hurt you.

Can an alt hate you or cause you grief? Has anyone had this happen? I am really worried and I am trying to resolve this with him.

They are their own person, with their own feelings and beliefs, so yes they can.

yes they can hurt you and yes they will try, but it usually stems from internalizing the abuse from the abuser...

The reason I ask is because I feel that someone is trying to destroy me. What do I say? I mean it can effect us both.

yes, that's a common problem, and great question to ask. that's where co-conscientiousness really helps. i have to try to be understanding and kind of, make a deal with the alter troubling me. you have to be on the up n up, cause you can't fool yourself. i usually allow then to do what they want (within reason) in turn, for something i want. you know, a favor for a favor. i asked my shrink that same question, he told me to stop fighting with my alters. that's great as long as one doesn't want to kill someone:roll: i had to learn to reason with them, so we can live as peaceful together as possible. i've found if i don't, one will act out, for spite. as you get more co-conscience, it gets easier. i've gotten a lot of tips from the book "got parts". good luck! let us know how it works out.

benny

ps. some alters like to punish (eg. cutting) to feel better. i learned to do tatoos. i an angery biker alter. tatoos hurt like hell. so now when she gets pissed, she can tatoo herself, instead of doing something very destructive. she's happy, my artistic alter is happy. i may not be that crazy about tatoos, but as long as she doesn't get too carried away, it' cool, i can live with it.

One of mine is determined to destroy me by perpetuating the abuse cycles. Because I fell in love with a man that is not abusive, she tried to push him to abuse me. And when that failed to happen she actively started relationships with abusive people.

And when we were about to be married, she sort of drove a stake through the heart of the marriage pre-emptively and we only found out about it about 2 years after the event.

Now I'm headed for divorce.

Yes. Alters can hate you. They can destroy your life. They can destroy the lives of the ones that love you. They can also commit suicide or kill the body in an attempt to kill other alters or the host (thinking that they'll survive. Which they won't.)

Alters can be really crappy people.

Then there can be some that are absolutely wonderful.

But yeah. Alters can be really quite scungy. My therapist tells me I have to embrace them all and love and accept them all. I say #######4. There are some people inside that I really really dislike. And I'm going to be honest about it.

One of the people inside has destroyed the most important thing in the world to me. (My relationship) and tainted another very important thing. I don't know how I can forgive that part of me, to be honest.

I keep reminding myself that those parts of me exist because I was abused, and that there's some very real likelihood that they quite honestly believe that they're doing the right thing by driving others away.

But it's hard when your life hangs in tatters.

I can absolutely agree with what other people have said so far. It's only really fortunate that I've been able to keep from ruining something very important to me. I don't really know how I'm going to keep it up though. So, I don't really have any advice...