so emotional.

I have been so weepy and scared, and lonely today, yet I am surrounded by my supportive fasmily in a new safe house... but I am terrified.
I hate being in my hometown.
I hate that it is a full moon.
I hate that Liz's cell phone is dead and I cannot talk to her.
I feel so trapped.
And my mom wants me to spend my entire TWO WEEKS here for christmas break.
I can't even handle 2 days.
and with little amber remembering, and little ones shifting... I am exhausted.
I love my family, and I get so so homesick.
Then when I am here, I feel trapped and lonely.
If it were not for my mom, I think I would go completely nuts.
What the hell is wrong with me!?

lark, is a hug ok? just a little one from someone else who is scared too.
(((((lark)))))

I wish I had some great knowledge to tell you, but I dont.
Feelings are feelings and that is ok.

I have learned alot, little lisa took the pain, hate and rage. I understand now why I am tired. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, I cant even just ride the wave anymore.

I have to go eat breakfast.

hang in there lark! i hate being scared too.((((((hug)))))) glad you posted. sometimes being in a safe place can cause memories to "let go". if it is "safe" and you are surrounded by people that love you, then i'd go with it. get that comfort you've allways deserved. it's scary openning up, but remember they love and care about you. trusting my husband enough to let my little one, carrying memories, cry in his arms, has been very healing. you won't fall apart, even if it might seem the way. allowing someone you trust, hold the broken pieces can help you to feel more like a whole person. at least thats what i've found. they can't change the past, no one can, let them be there "now".

love benny,

ps. hope all goes well!