At home it's "us" and outside its "me"

Does anyone else do this?

I've found that when I'm at its "us" and "we" but when I'm out and about and I'm talking to people it's just "me". I've always done this.

I know that some people here say "we" and "us" quite a lot on the forum but I'm just wondering if when you are in real life if you still say this or do you say "me".

The vast majority of the people with DID I know does that. Even when we meet IRL, there's always a bit of a "warm up time" before everyone feel safe enough to say "we".

To me, it's about not letting others know that I dissociate. Dissociation is a pretty powerful protection, but it can backfire quickly if the wrong people discover you dissociate that much.

Those I've seen without any trouble to say "we" IRL usually 1) have an extrovert system, build to attract attention instead of avoiding it, because it was safer for them that way, 2) are far enough in their healing journey to not really care anymore, because they have ways to protect themselves, 3) polyfragmented systems, and systems (or alters) that became aware of their DID really early (teen or childhood). All of them aren't common compared to the "classic" introvert DID system becoming aware of themselves between 20-40yo - but they do exist, not common doesn't mean rare!

We switch between using we and me but we grew up in an area wher the posh people used "the Royal we" so when we do use plural they just think we are being snobby.

Western wrote:Does anyone else do this?

I've found that when I'm at its "us" and "we" but when I'm out and about and I'm talking to people it's just "me". I've always done this.

I know that some people here say "we" and "us" quite a lot on the forum but I'm just wondering if when you are in real life if you still say this or do you say "me".

yes we have always done this long before we understood we were DID or autistic! We are also a very covert system who grew up in an era where mental illness meant being locked up for life!... I guess we're oddly fortunate that they saw the 'autism' in us first and that was was regarded as a learning disability back then and 'untreatable' (medication-wise..in comparison to something such as schizophrenia which is controlled by mediation) we just needed to be 'specifically taught' to 'act normal'...we were just subject to 70's old style ABA therapy to eliminate all autistic behaviours (basically 'smacked into submission')..needless to say physical contact is a big issue for most of us!

Sorry .. some of that was 'Bobby' our 'original child' who had to endure most of it!

but yes we have 'social masks' being both autistic and DID. I do believe now that we really are DID as well as autistic ..nothing else explains it!

Jay

I'm going to say 'yes'. This seems pretty normal. From what I understand it's part of DID to want to mask near strangers that we are/have more than one personality.

I've only just started to get to know what's up with me, and I never really say "we". This might be because I'm the original (at least I think I am) and so far it seems my two alters' work full time to keep themselves hidden and secure my position as the host.

I refer to myself as "I" and to my alters as "them".

One alter (White/Shield) refers to me as "she" and herself as "I". So it only gets tricky when someone asks a direct question about me, the host. In this case she tends to avoid using pronouns when it comes to strangers or slips up and uses "she".

But my second alter (Black/Sword) refers to herself and me as "we". So both when she means only herself and when she refers to me. When she speaks to me directly she does use "you" at times, but it's often a case of "we" and "us". When she's fronting near strangers, she consciously makes an effort to avoid using any pronouns at all. So all sentences get swapped around or pronouns get dropped all together.
I.e. "I'm okay" would be "we're okay" but when she's fronting near strangers it'll be "It's going okay" or simply "okay".

So I think it's different for everyone, but general conclusion is that you're valid.

~ Grey/Knight

yeah i don't tell anyone outside of this forum (and a little on reddit), (And I talk about it sometimes with my partner) but no it is really embarrassing and makes me feel too vulnerable. So I never bring it up or say we or anything like that.

Thank you all for sharing your personal experiences. It's nice to hear about.

I notice it more when I'm doing certain things like going to bed at night and getting up in the morning. I feel more aware of "us" when I'm doing these types of things. I'm thinking it's maybe because of the little ones.