Dissociative experiences relapsing

I am ruminating a lot in between days and the main thing is I am not even aware of that.I detach from surroundings and used to think and get lost in memmories and all.My main trigger to dissociate was smoking.And offcourse love like if I am obsessed with someone I dissociate a lot.And I used to just stay in freeze state to long time.I started therapy after an year and now i can feel my old parts are returning.the parts that are not in denial of he trauma I experianced.I think I am healing from last heartbreak I had.Slowly and gradually my parts are surfacing and showing emotions that I holds for long time.I feel so sorry for the parts.I promised them that I will neve smoke and will never goonto triggers and never deny them.That sort of Helped me to stay present for sometime from the internal chattering.
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I resonate with this a lot. I've also noticed smoking makes dissociating and switching wild, it's not very covert anymore. Is there something you could do instead of smoking, like art? Meditation? Something that grounds you and takes you off from those thoughts. My opinion is that if you have promised something to your system it should be essential to keep.

I also spend most of my time in daydreams and memories and sometimes feels like I am not here at all. It's like a pond and I'm sinking and it takes a lot of energy trying not to drown there.

Hi, I am glad to hear with therapy that parts that seemed gone have come back. That sounds like a good sign. Sorry to ehar that things you thought you never would do, you now feel you are doing. I do things to help cope too. Mainly I drink coffee, but I can understand that.

spinningtops wrote:Hi, I am glad to hear with therapy that parts that seemed gone have come back. That sounds like a good sign. Sorry to ehar that things you thought you never would do, you now feel you are doing. I do things to help cope too. Mainly I drink coffee, but I can understand that.

Yeah,I am now smoking a lot which makes me so dissociative and lost.I miss most of the life with dissociation and when smoking is added most are missed.I am now trying to do some grounding techniques to help me stay present and not switch or ruminate .
Also my triggers to dissociation seems to be changed.Like I seems to dissociate more when I see happy couples around me or just some women in street that look like my old collegemates.I used to dissociate a lot thinking about life and other things of them.Like I completely depersonalize and stay out e myself like floating around and stuff.I hate this 3rs person view which always makes me act like a robot.I am not myself most of the time.I act in ways that I think will help me survive the trauma.My second trauma happened after a heartbreak with my crush and that doubles my dissociation experiance.I actually don't know how to cope with this new triggers that came from that trauna.Also I am afraid if it is reversible at all.Like I am losing hope that this will never go away.