Feel ignored

Sarandipity wrote:I'm wondering who your neighbors yell at when they live alone. But then they could be playing games online, my eldest son used to yell online gaming but he's moved out now. I don't know if he's still yelling, I hope he's grown out of it.

I'm not feeling too distressed myself. Bored is what I started to feel. Then this guy I was chatting to said stuff and because of looking that up I then ended up reading about other things entirely from books I have so not online which stopping the boredom and I felt calmer. I think the isolation has its own challenges.

This is a new need. I don't feel it now but it'll probably come up again. I'm not seeing it as s bad thing. My need was always to hide and shrink away so it flipping to feeling ignored and not wanting to be ignored is probably a good thing.

Wishing you feel safer and your neighbors are quieter.for you.

I think they're yelling out of frustration and not at anyone in particular. One yelled about someone being an [expletive] idiot and went on about it for a little while, and I think it was just an angry reaction to an email or phone call that didn't go his way. I hear the other neighbor yelling similar stuff but usually by the postboxes, so I think it's when stuff doesn't arrive when it is supposed to. I don't think either has any other way of dealing with their anger. Some in our system have a similar type of reaction, so we kind of get it, but we have more awareness of how yelling loudly would impact others and that matters to us.

We hope your son has grown out of that too. I never like it when I encounter people yelling in games online.

Do you socialize out of the house a lot? We haven't felt bored, but definitely restless. We are pretty used to keeping ourselves entertained when alone.

Agree that the need isn't a bad thing. It sounds like connecting and being heard are important now in a way they weren't before, and maybe that means those things don't feel unsafe? We aren't you, but it sounds promising to us.

electric crow and Others

Hi Electric Crow and others,

At least (if they are singletons) it confirms singletons talk to themselves too, it's what we tell ourselves when someone starts talking out loud "where is the..." Or even "what did you do with the..." We get self conscious and then negative thoughts come in and either the alter who's there or someone internal says "oh shut up, everyone talks to themselves sometimes"

But yes, it gives the impression of being surrounded by aggressive people so I can see how it gets to you.

I didn't think I did socialise much now. When younger everyone had their own friends, we sociised all the time. Now it's just work and chatting to people we know locally when we see them which is whenever we step out the house pretty much because we have lived here years. So I guess yeah kind of although it seemed like I was unsocial to me really we're all usually pretty social except Beth but she chats online. She's cut that since yesterday because it was doing us in overall. Plus Beth is a really fair person so if we are all suffering isolation she'll suffer too. But to be fair it's helped. I feel like a singleton at the moment, the last couple of days. I can feel they are still there like just saying I feel like a singleton caused feeling of dissociation but they are all quiet. I think they forgot I just like to chill out and I'm actually ok just sitting in. I kind of feel like No-one (the alter) is with me but not overly, like she's just sort of watching.

It feels ok to have need to be heard. So it seems good, as long as it doesn't get out of hand and I become an attention seeker.

Thanks crows