Blurry

We're not doing so good. Almost everyone in the system is being attacked by memories, and borders between alters are fading because of it. Whether I'm outside the whole day or not, our age fluctuates throughout the day, from big to small from small to big to in between to..... triggers are seeping in and disappearing again, information is seeping in and disappearing again.. and the confrontation, that we are all parts of a single soul instead of all separate persons, that we function separate but we're all pieces of a whole puzzle.. it's hard to swallow, and we're scared. We don't want any borders to fade and we don't want to come too 'close' to each other, we feel like our safety is leaving us, we want to get as far away from each other as possible, but we need to stick together now. It's just too damned complicated right now

Well, thanks for being able to write this down here..
take care everyone!

sorry you are going through all the d.i.d. crap. i know how it feels. it sucks. being aware of each other brings on it's own problems. some one on this forum talked about having to go to the depths of insanity, to get well. who ever it was, (you know who you are) was right! thats exactly how it feels. i hope it's just one of those akward stages between denial and recovery. whether the end result is co-conscienceness or intergration. what ever works. i must be at or close to the stage you're at. my day goes the same way. i always keep in mind no matter how bad i feel, i can come hear and talk to someone that knows exactly what i'm going through, and it makes me feel better. hang in there! i've been told it gets better!

benny

I am sorry you have to go through this.
I wish there was more i could do to help.
All i know is that right now I am so blurry and all i have wanted to do is stay in bed.
Sometimes I really hate my birthday.

Thanks for the supportive responses Benny and Amber, we really appreciate it.. we aren't there yet, but we're starting to sort some of this chaos out and organise our shifting picture again, getting some clarity in our head so the panic about 'falling together' doesn't consume us, taking power in our own hands by placing walls between each other and then still communicating, and such things.. don't know if we're still being clear, sorry if we're not.. things are just as heavy and hard, but at least we're actively doing something about it and know some things that help us cope and get through by sorting this out with other people instead of by ourselves. Thanks again!

Since our last post it's really been going downhill 'cause we got triggered. We did work through it and had a good therapy, but our fostermom isn't doing good and things went wrong there too and now everything's an absolute mess. Sorry for maybe not being able to be enough support for all of you right now.. but we're thinking of everyone!

We're thinking of you too Dimensional!
We know you're strong, and the mess WILL clear!
^__^

Hang in there! We know you can pull through!

We are here for you! And here to be strong for you.

Thanks for the supportive responses after our vague message, means a lot to us .. it's true, we will pull through and the mess will clear, no matter how it appears at times.