Can't sleep

Haven't been like this for ages. Since hospital. Before I knew it is been laying awake for 3 hours. Work nonsense going round in my head but must have also been dissociated.

Where I work it feels like I'm on a ship but nobody is steering it. It feels ok when other managers are there. When they are not there I find problems, I tell who is supposed to be in charge but nothing happens.

There's two people that are difficult. Once is the new manager who is not cut out for managing. For many reasons. The other is a woman there who is weird. They say I'm odd, make jokes, it doesn't bother me.

This woman causes interpersonal problems between collegues. She says she's stressed but isn't. She came to me yesterday saying stuff had gone missing. Because it's my nature to try to grab a wheel that's out of control at first I was "what!" Then I firstly remembered who I was talking to, a trouble maker, and then secondly remembered I'm not the manager. So I told her tell the manager. She then said "I know she sent them to HQ" So I knew as usual she was trying to create drama.

Another time she told a Xmas temp to leave early. She told me the woman just left for no reason. I was new then. She then faffed around in the back and made us late leaving. I was angry with the Xmas temp till I found out this woman told her to leave. The woman then when asked by the Xmas temp Infront of another member of staff admitted she told the woman to leave and was then ill for two weeks. Hiding I think.

Now it's other stuff like saying "the new manager knows why there is 15 missing out the till but she's covering it up. I don't know what to do" I think she's talking nonsense trying to cause more problems. She also deliberately does annoying things like not mark stock correctly. She also doesn't label things in the window with the correct prices. I tell the new manager stuff is marked incorrectly but she doesn't care.

I can see the place going down the toilet once the trainer manager people go. I want to tell them all the mistakes but I know they will all hate me in the shop when I do that so I also feel like I have to quit but I don't want to quit. I don't want to quit but I have to tell them what's happening. Like how a big sale was lost because the trouble maker one taught the other new girl to send people to other stores not request the customers size. After she sent the customer out I saw the rings were incorrectly sized and we did have her size. The new manager didn't care about any of that and then said we weren't to tell anyone. Which I don't like, I find it triggering. This new manager then came up to me a week later saying "we did loads of ring requests" like I'm supposed to be the one telling her well done and I just thought "I know. Because I did half of them"

She keeps saying she's going to manage the shop properly when the trainer people have left but she should be doing that now. If me and the other new girl didn't follow the timing of stuff we'd never leave on time. This new manager who also can't count or do basic maths said I have to stay unpaid when she messed up the till - which will be every day unless me or the other new girl do it or the trouble maker, she can balance the till but I suspect she makes it up because she's rubbish at maths and also she seems like she takes stuff she shouldn't - I don't have proof on that. Both the new manager and trouble maker seem shocked and pleased when the till balances because they're so rubbish at adding up. On Monday the shop was filthy. They both get really stressed when the trainer managers are coming.

It seems like without the fear of the trainer managers it'll all be labelled and priced wrong and they won't clean or suddenly learn to count.

I want out, it's that bad. At the same time I don't because I love the company. It's fairly priced and honestly labelled. They have really clear instructions for everything. It's a pleasant nice job - without the trouble maker and with a proper manager.

Because of the new manager not taking the wheel so to speak I keep nearly doing that and I got really upset and stressed when that good sale was lost. But all that happens is they make excuses and cry to the rubbish new manager that I got stressed because of loosing money and the new manager does nothing except come and tell me we did loads of requests like she wants my approval which again puts me in an odd position because it's supposed to be her getting stressed if the shop loosed money because of poor labelling, she should be the one saying things to us and caring about it not hiding it, making excuses and then coming to me like she wants a pat on the head.

So it's stressing me out. Why do I end up in a no manager shop where they bring in a shop worker with no management experience and no natural flare for it either who likes to be liked to much and wants to cover up mistakes which is very dangerous with the trouble maker there because I'm not sure if she incorrectly prices stuff so people she knows can buy them cheaper. Everyone left the shop and just she was left there so they hired two new workers, me and the other girl and got this shop staff from another store to run the place. Because of how this trouble maker is I wonder if they all left because of her.

Anyway I'm not going in tomorrow. I can't. I haven't slept and I'm too stressed because I have to tell the trainer manager all this stuff. She vouched for the new manager and it will look bad on her when they crash and burn. They might not, I could be wrong, but I'm going to tell the trainer manager because it's the right thing to do. And jump ship like a rat because short of miraculously a manager turning up it's gonna be a mislabeled $#%^ show of a shop. I'd rather go now then get more stressed watching the shop go down hill. And also once I rat them out they are going to not like me so it won't be pleasant there and I need as little stress as possible.

Pat and Paul did the most the meeting. The host got upset. Without sleep I feel like I'm on speed. Need to rest but if I don't sleep later tonight I'm gonna go see a doctor or summing tomorrow and get help coz although it's sorted my brain loosing it's sleep pattern goes into overdrive. We just switch and stay awake. Feel ok but then eventually the sea creatures take over and we not talking and are a mess sometimes go psychotic. Each part that comes in feels awake but the brain has had no actual rest so eventually it'd mess us up. Fingers crossed on the sleep later. No-one

I hope you get some sleep. I know insomnia stinks! Maybe drink some warm milk and count sheep. It's mundane so it will keep your mind from racing.

Rive wrote:I hope you get some sleep. I know insomnia stinks! Maybe drink some warm milk and count sheep. It's mundane so it will keep your mind from racing.

Thanks Rive. Got a great sleep which was a relief.

I can't really give advice about the company-part,
but if the not-sleeping-part happen again, maybe you could try to use self-hypnosis-techniques or autogenic training.
Both helped me alot in such times.
But it needs some practice.