Do healthy people have an inner world?

Amythyst wrote:Hey No-one,

I'm really sorry, we know how it feels. Like exactly. The world we knew as our inner world is like 'off limits' to most of us now. And it makes us really sad if we think about it too hard.

But we've got a new one that's coming together? Its not the same as the old one, not like, trying to re-create what was lost. The new one is closer to the front, less dissociated, more accessable.

Maybe your system can do something like that too? Cos I think we all need a place to go and hide, to not be in the body or whatever. A safe place inside.

Viola

Yea, all I know is that the overlord had moved closer and the town is gone. I don't know what's happening with it past that point. I can't see the twins giving up where they live any time soon but nobody wants to live there.

Perhaps they'll do something like that. I hope so. It completely disappearing is a really scary, sad and horrible thought.

I'm summising it's apparently healthier and healthy people don't have this but I don't know if I particularly care about "healthier" No-one

I don't think you're nowhere near to be healthy, so I don't believe it's disappearing like that. For us it's different, because the place I'm used to think is the inner world is kind of mix of daydream and inner world. It started as a daydream, but our mind made it more than that. Lucas calls it Forget world, so I do too. But not all parts live in there, just the ones I know about, the ones with different background than mine. There are other parts too, in Deep in, in the place behind the Forget world.

We asked questions from our little. Now he's delivering parts who can answer, probably. He has power to drag whole world closer for us to enter better, and it's causing the leakage. The leakage comes from what's probably the actual inner world, where all parts are, but nobody has build anything in there, it's kind of empty or maybe I just can't see. "Dark and full of terror." I don't know what all is in there, because I keep on daydreaming and watching parts I know and like and who are safe and familiar.

There can be many coming from where real traumas are.

Your world is real, and you're not healed. Things changed, because you told something that broke the walls inside the mind. It is a big deal, it was against everything many of you had learned from very young, to stay silent, to keep secrets, to build walls. I think breaking them to some extent is good, some of it is caused by traumatizers, not built by you. But trying to do trauma work on your own is never a good idea, so I'm not wondering why it caused more chaos. Healing is not supposed to cause chaos, inside or out. I think what you have now is temporary, it's a crisis inside because it's breaking walls of silence. I believe you will build new things and you do need a place to stay. Healing for real, to the point of no inner world , if that ever is possible, is after years and years of work, and you all are gonna be different from how you are now when it's possible.

Others are talking about less vivid or not as detailed inner world, but still inner world. Or new one, but still place to live in.

I guess for me it's up to deciding if I wanna face the reality or keep on daydreaming. It sounds easier than feels like. I still need an escape from this world too, and I can't enter inner worlds. I don't feel I'm scared, but apparently I am, because I need that escape all the time. It's not just addiction, I use it as a coping mechanism, it's what I do instead of switching, and that's what kind of keeps me in balance, and able to continue life as a main front. I think when the traumas are gonna come close and the way to daydreams is blocked, I'm gonna switch like crazy.

It can't be the goal in therapy. I must explain how I feel. There's just not enough safety for me to give up daydreaming. If it will be stopped, it's causing more severe symptoms. Switching is way more radical way of survival than daydream thru the hard part. Hard part is staying with people for too long. Or going to new place, like a new store. It's all too scary to me, apparently, to do without imagining things.

I knew healing is hard, but expected the hard to be different kind. I was and am ready to feel bad with a scared little, but I'm not ready to give away things important to me.

On the other hand I trust Sami. 100%. He's calming down me and he's calming down Lucas, both of us who are freaking out when start to think about this. He knows things. He doesn't resist the change. He doesn't trust our T, he watches all that's happening in there, but he still trusts the process. In the end for me, I just don't wanna lose them. My boys. And I can't because we're one person. So he is right, we're all good.

We just let the littles living in the dark to come in the light with us and that's it.

I don't think I'm anywhere near healthy either lol. It's scary that it's changed how it has changed.

There was no plans - hang on there were plans to seek specialist therapy but nobody was doing anything about it.

I know what's happened now. If the twins can't get their own way by conventional means they will by unconventional means. So parts were not getting to a therapist quick enough. Not doing anything about it at all I'm guessing.

So they pushed a part forward who made the police call, everyone panicked and now there's no turning back. No hiding. Nothing to do but seek therapy.

And why am I perfect out front after being gone for so long 1. It's all not a shock to me 2. But I'm still emotionally detached 3. I always hated my parents so none of this bothers me 4. I can't do any of the jobs the others have qualifications in so I have to get a stress free minimum wage job that I can have time to go to therapy 5. Sitting around doing nothing while I'm signed off doesn't bother me at all, I was stoned when I had the body alot as a teenager 6. I hate those guys (the twins) but I have to admit they get results out of otherwise apathetic people.

And the twins are pretty much silent now, from when we left hospital and there's no meds so it's not meds and I'm staying away from the weed even though I literally am surrounded by people who smoke it so they're silent because they're getting what they want. To be fair it's what we need.

As it was we would of never gone to therapy, I can summise. Now it's such a mess there's no choice.

You made me feel better Floralie because I think what you're saying is accurate, the internal world isn't going to disappear over night even though it changed over night. It will take proper therapy. Now I just have to know that and still think therapy is a good idea.

Thanks, No-one

What do you consider an inner world? Like is it just having thoughts in your head that make up a story? Does it have to have a bunch of continuity over time? Does it need to be difficult to distinguish from reality to be an inner world?

What is it like?

JustHelpful wrote:What do you consider an inner world? Like is it just having thoughts in your head that make up a story? Does it have to have a bunch of continuity over time? Does it need to be difficult to distinguish from reality to be an inner world?

What is it like?

Rose thought, probably still thinks I'm not sure, she is just a ghost who helps this poor child who was abused out by being in her body when she can't cope. But Rose is mortified herself at the moment so I dunno how she is currently because I haven't heard.

So to Rose the inner world wasn't an inner world at all in her eyes. It was her living on the "other side" like a ghost I guess. Living her life that she feels she lived when she was alive. Other than what her and Patrick will willingly show I don't know the ins and outs of their life.

For the twins it's "another dimension" they live in another dimension. I'm not sure of how they veiw the body, they aren't in it much. Nobody in the system really knows their inner world other than it's like a living computer game, theme park type place. Even Mandy who lived with them for years didn't see it, she lived in her own part of their world which is an internal replica of our childhood home except she isn't frightened and is happy.

My experience of the internal world is the worst experience. They hid me, drowned me in silent lake for 20 years. Alters don't die so I'm still around. But even I wouldn't be without an internal world. When you're there it's real - I don't know how else to explain it, it's real. Paul went to the twins world recently, he said that's more like a simulation and he flew amoungst the stars flung up into the air and then flying away from an old manor house, that looks like a haunted house, he's showing me. The flying around didn't help his rage though.

It's real when you're in it, that's the best way I can explain it. Like a dream that seems really really real if you've ever had a dream like that, but where you control what you're doing - except if you're drowned in silent lake - but mostly it's like that.

JustHelpful wrote:What do you consider an inner world? Like is it just having thoughts in your head that make up a story? Does it have to have a bunch of continuity over time? Does it need to be difficult to distinguish from reality to be an inner world?

What is it like?

Inner world is place where most DID parts live in, when they're not out in this world, meaning in the body fronting or co-present with who ever is fronting (fronting = in control of the body). Inner world is subconscious, but parts can enter there the way it feels them like this world feels to you when you are in here. And well, you are in here all the time, because you don't have an inner world to enter. They feel it with their all senses, and for us and some other systems we know - but can't say it's like that for all - when parts are in there, they don't know there's another world outside of it. So it's their reality. It feels like reality feels like. It's not thoughts or imagination, to them it feels physically existing, just like your reality feels to you.

That's something people with single identity don't understand, to them it's not real because it's not for them to see, hear, feel, smell or taste, but for parts who live in there, there's no difference in the reality of it compared to reality of this world, when they're in here.

It is not imaginary. Story doesn't need a teller from outside to continue, inner worlds keeps on changing and people living in there keep on doing their things regardless if anyone is thinking of them, or even knowing they exist. Its like if you lock yourself in your apartment and don't do anything for some time, when you go out, you need to catch up with what's happening, what's new, what's everyone been doing, is there any big news. Inner world is like that too, because parts are living, feeling beings and their existence don't stop if they are not fronting. Just like your existence doesn't end if you lock yourself in your apartment, or the outside reality doesn't end because of it. Because parts live and interact with each other and their world, things happen to them.

Inner world can be any kind, and not all people with DID have it (or if they do they never get to be aware of it). Because it is subconscious, the laws of physics are not laws in there. Inside time can be very different from outside time. It can be, but it's not always. For some systems their world is very symbolic and dreamlike, for some it's more realistic.

Inner world is like parts are. In some (probably most) systems (most) parts are just people like any people are, in some systems parts can be shape shifting age slider dragons and a 285 687 year old vampire. Their identity is formed based on what's needed, in subconscious, many times in the mind of a little child. They can be anything. They can be a rock, or piece of wallpaper. Only thing required is to have an identity and own consciousness, but how they picture themselves, it doesn't matter, dragons are as real as people, although we do understand people can not see parts for how they look like inside, when they front. But that is not a special fictive-problem, it's for all parts. Parts rarely look like the outside body does in inner world.

Parts are what they say they are, and because it's subconscious, then that's how it is. There's always a reason why someone is a dragon or wallpaper, it has subconscious meaning, and in the end that meaning is safety one way or another, but you just need to understand that if parts can be anything they say they are (there's no other ways to measure someones identity than what they identify being), inner worlds they live in can vary to same degree. What ever human mind can come up with is possible.

When you dream, your dreams come from subconscious mind. You know sometimes they make sense, they're more like real life, and sometimes they're totally weird, with dancing pink elephants or something. So they can be many kind.

Inner world represents mind's view of things. For example because DID is always caused by trauma, there can many times be children in the inner world living in awful conditions. They are feeling awful, mind is traumatized, symbolic way for subconscious to show that experience can be something very graphic. They can also be stuck in time in a trauma memory that is continuous experience for them until they are helped out of it. They don't know anything else, or know trauma is over in reality, maybe stopped decades ago outside, but for them it's there now with all senses. They may not know what is reality and that there is another world. If they do come here, they have hard time understanding what's happening to them, because all they know is trauma they came from.

For many people inner world, or the center of the inner world, the heart of it, seems to be a house, where parts live together. But some people have multiple inner worlds, and different parts live in different worlds. It can be anything from empty void to one room full of parts with nothing else in there, or it can be detailed universes with their own kind of logic and laws.

The big point is that it is not a story someone tells, it is it's own kind of reality that exists inside a mind of someone with severe dissociation disorder. You can always make philosophical conversation of the nature of the reality, but I'm not into having having that kind of conversations. What matters from our point of view is that it is reality to them who live in there, and therefor something you take as seriously as you take things in outside. There are differences because of non-existing laws of physics, which is why nuclear bomb in inner world can't end the inner world from existing. Parts can't die inside and they still need inner worlds after world end, that is symbol for doing something you can't undo. But if they are feeling bad because they broke up with their loved one, or they are so angry they can't control it when they remember trauma, feelings are as real as feelings ever can be. Laws of physics don't change feelings, so they are as important as they are after same thing happening outside.

In case you are wondering, DID is not delusional condition, we know the difference between reality how other people understand it vs. what is solely inside our minds. It's not psychotic disorder any way. I don't know how much you know about DID, so I said that just to make sure you understand this is real condition, not imaginary. We don't imagine being many people, we just never managed to develop integrated identity/personality because trauma interrupted us from creating one self. That's why we have several identities/personalities, instead of one. No baby is born with identity, it forms when they grow up. Severe trauma child's mind can not bear without totally crushing, needs to be sealed away from the consciousness of the part(s) of the personality who continue(s) living normal life after trauma, and to survive living in repeated or continuous trauma. There's different neurology linked to it, and differences in nervous system. So this is not things we imagine happening to us or imagine us being, although it can sound like it to a person who has never experienced how it is to be multiple. There really are multiple identities, and it gives us skills other people can't do, too.

Parts and inner worlds aren't there because of conscious decisions, they're because of trauma and something that happened to us. We find them and learn things about them to get to know them, instead of planning what we wanna have. Inner world can be changed and parts can recreate themselves, new parts can appear, but it's not me who decides about all that. I watch it happening, try to help out and try to understand why.

Thanks for the answers they were very insightful and appreciated. I would say to answer the primary question that non DID folks don’t experience inner worlds in the same way folks with DID do.

That said parts definitely exist for everyone but they are rarely (you know better than me) as compartmentalized in folks without DID. I am thinking it’s like a video signal, if it’s tuned in on a narrow band then sharp images and experiences can be displayed. But if everything blends together then all the signals, images etc are there but kind of a gray haze that is not consciously distinguishable and not developed enough in most to experience anything tangible.

Everything shared has been really interesting. Can alters fuse together into a single alter or do they occasionally disappear or?