IFS and me

Allcoulors wrote:This sounds more like an ego state treatment to me than did/alter treatment.

Sarandipity wrote:Reading this is making me think twice again about going to a specialist. I thought by now they would have a set way to treat not options. So it looks like they still are not sure what they are talking about.

The naming of parts having roles seems ok, I don't think I fit into a role name, I feel like if I had a role it'd be "stabiliser" because mostly I'm out when life needs stabilization and I lack emotions to an extreme where I think I'm probably fitting ASPD because I have rage and shame at weakness but not much else. So I wouldn't say I'm ANP other than I can do all "normal" stuff without trauma or life stress effecting me. And I can definitely see other parts have and hold many more emotions than I do but they're not just emotions, like a mixture of functions and emotions and wants and needs - I'd say they're more ANP. Plus there are suppressed emotions here that are seperate from parts, don't have a function and were just seperated off like an emotional cloud and if not kept an eye on will latch onto vulnerable alters - maybe they're EP but part I wouldn't call them.

Ego state ideas I'm not convinced on because different parts have ego states of their own, are aware of ego states and know what ego state they're communicating in because we did alot of therapy and courses and studied psychotherapy. So I don't think for us putting parts as being one ego state applies.

So now not only am I gonna have to seek specialist therapist of which there are only 2 specialist centres in this country, now I'm gonna have check in what way they're going to want to play with the brain. Feeling like I can't trust the experts theories again. But we don't like to read too much because we don't like to get caught in "oh maybe we're this" which is what happened before we heard of DID and were convinced we might be narcissistic or BPD or neurotic etc etc. We've gone over Bipolar about 5 times since coming out of hospital because that is yet another diagnosis and it's not helpful trying to convince yourself you have something so we can fit into what they're saying so we want to avoid reading too much DID stuff because then we might try to fit into that. We just know there's more than one of us and I have to make sure I remember that or it all gets a bit overwhelming when they start coming back.

We call it body amnesia. You're in the body too long and you can't remember the internal world, forget there's other parts and think you're a whole person. At the moment the only things keeping me from forgetting is that 1. I miss my sister, she's internal and playing games in Terra Magica. She came in the body once in years and only because the twins tricked her and told her "go out there, you're robbing a bank in Paris" she thought it was an area of one of there games. Then thought "this isn't Paris. Oh B. I'm in the body. Ok. Guess this is work" and then the second day she didn't go to work and went shopping. So she's unreliable and does what she wants, stays internal and I miss her. We spent alot of time together the last few years but she won't come out here. 2. Coming here helps me remember. I actually read stuff here every day, more than once a day and don't reply just to make myself think "oh yeah DID" otherwise I'll forget. 3. The bf, he reminds me because he knows. So instead of what usually happens when I'm here all the time and I say to whoever "go away, I don't love you, I've never loved you" because I haven't I have been able to speak to him more honestly - he asked me one thing, when I just got here into the body and wasn't caught up on all the daily life stuff I'd missed and only Patrick would be able to answer him "sorry the person you are trying to contact is currently unavailable" which has actually made it a bit better. I'm not just fobbing someone off saying "I don't love you, go away" I can actually have a convo so it's holding off the amnesia a bit.

Sorry that I'm going on. Ignore me. Paul.

andiKirkwood wrote:having a distinctive personality (your word alter) underneath another personality.

Sub personalities have their own memories, perceptions, behaviors, beliefs, emotions.

they are a different kind of alters. "sub" personalities and "alternate" personalities. Andi has both kinds.

if this was Andi being angry and scared yes that would be ego state. but this is not andi being angry and scared. Andi is feeling Sally's hate and scared. Sally is a sub personality under andi's personality.

Sally thinks of herself on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed and andi on the top bunk. two different people one under the other. both fully aware and active at the same time.