**Trigger Warning** alters who tell anyone everything

** TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE **
I wrote a post about memory and I have a second concern. Once certain parts of me know things they are really really vocal, they have no shame and will literally say whatever it is to anyone.

For example, my husband raped me. When he did it there was a moment where my brain nearly "tripped out" and then a voice said "not this time Sarah" and it was awful. It went round and round in my head and every time I was alone with my husband I would recount exactly what happened to him from beginning to end in full detail. After 4 days he broke down and cried. These parts wanted to kill him so they reported it to the police and said they didn't want him arrested. The police arrested him and they were really angry .. that's different parts to the no shame parts, I went off on a tangent.

Anyway he was arrested. He went to prison. Then I'd tell anyone what happened. I'm out with some women I knew they said "you don't usually smoke" I said "well last week I hadn't been trapped by my husband and this week I have so now I smoke" which did stop the smoking comments. I went to get Welfare because my husband was working but I was only working a few hours at that time. The woman says, in a room full of other people sitting there doing the same thing, "why are you here to claim benefits" I said "well my husband raped me and he's in jail so now to top it all off I have to come here" A street preacher Christian woman started going on about marriage and asked me if I was married. I said "yeah" she said "are you still together?" I said "no, separated" she said, with a really satisfied look in her eyes "why are you separated?" I said "well he raped me and he's in prison. Does your religion say I should still be with him?" Which I knew that alot of them believe you should stay in a marriage with a rapist but she was so shamed up she didn't know what to say and stuttered about how that's not a typical marriage break up.

So they literally don't care. They'll say whatever happened without shame and pretty much pleased with themselves that they have the capability to do that. Other parts of me are mortified by this.

It's one thing to know what happened, what caused a terrible disorder. It's another thing to have parts who go around telling everyone without a second thought. Beth hasn't been outside since that except by accident and occasionally she'll come out if she's in a small place with only one or two people. When she realised she was having panic attacks over the whole thing she just decided she'd never go out.

So not only do I have stuff going round and round in my head but also I'm now worried I'm going to start telling everyone about it that I come across. I haven't verbalised it all to anyone yet and I don't think I will till I'll dealt with the possibility that I'll then just tell anyone and any given opportunity.

Those examples don't sound inappropriate to me--they are definitely within the normal range of blunt, snappy comebacks to nosy people. It doesn't sound like you're going around sharing traumatic childhood memories with strangers, or recounting the details of the incident with your husband to people.

Sarandipity wrote:It's one thing to know what happened, what caused a terrible disorder. It's another thing to have parts who go around telling everyone without a second thought.

But you're not telling people about what caused your DID, just about this most recent abuse as an adult. If you're worried that parts will start to do that, you can talk about it with them and try to come to an agreement as a group about where and with whom to share personal details.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I agree with Gang.