Names for alters?

One of my alters is named Felipé, but I can't figure out a name for the other one. What should I name it? It doesn't really want one, but I really want to give it a name!

I'm not sure why you would force them to have a name if they don't want one. If you found out their reasons for not wanting one, you could discuss it with them and come to an agreement. Also, they might not like to be referred to as "it."

I agree with Gang, their opinions need to be heard.

If it's hard to talk about them when they do not have names, you can use something that describes them rather than an actual name. For example Little Girl or Tween Boy. Just make sure they agree with description too, and it can't be anything negative. I wouldn't use any emotion in the name either, like Sad One. It kind of makes them all about the feeling, and they are not. Sad one is meant to be happy one day.

Living in a system means making compromises. If you need something to call them to talk about them with your T etc. they need to accept they are called something. On the other hand you can not just name someone who doesn't want to.

Reason Why is important just like Gang said. Maybe they don't wanna be talked about. Or maybe they think body's name is their name (and then it is). Maybe they don't feel safe when they are noticed, and having a name makes them feel like a target. Reasons can be pretty much anything, so listen to them so they can feel they're safe with you.

Trigger warning: sexual abuse, emotional abuse There is one part in Fourteen's system that was named against his will. Or let's say against his understanding about what he is. It was because the reason he refused to have a name was because "whore's don't need names". He was given a name so he wouldn't see himself as just a whore anymore, the idea of him not needing a name probably wasn't his own to begin with. He still doesn't see himself as a real boy, but maybe one day he will. ("Real boys" are like this special elite group to him.)Trigger warning ends.

Most all in SF's system picked names themselves. I would often help by providing lists of names to see if any of them interested them. Some went through pages of names, others were less selective. They are also know they are free to change their names, but few have.

We had one part where she requested several names, but I told her it needed to be a respectful name as she was important and deserved respect, which SFs T agreed with. (**TW** She had asked for "stoopid girl" and a few other similar names... **End TW**)

Another wanted to be called The Angry One. I called her TAO for a while as it was a bit more respectful until she chose another name. "The Man" was similar and initially didn't want a name. After a while he started asking for name suggestions. He recently chose a name as well.

We did use temporary names for a couple that wanted to be out, but had trouble... surfacing... This would let them know that either the T or I was there and it was okay to come out if they wanted. These names only lasted a few days to a week before they chose their own name.

So like our names were just like ours from like forever ago... IDK how we got them, honestly... but they kinda are part of who we are... IDK about forcing one- maybe like asking "Can I call you....?" and seeing what they say?

{\Pixie/}

Good point Pixie...

kibahidei, have you asked if they have a name?

I completely agree that asking them if they have a preference would be ideal; we have a little one, Lily, who didn't have a name per se initially. Our SO suggested a few options, and she seemed to respond to Lily, so we have used that as a placeholder. Lilith, meanwhile, was initially Lilian but prefered Lilith when our partner made a comment that they sound similar, and so became Lilith instead.

Short version: names are potentially moveable things, but it's vital that the alter is given an opportunity to decide for themselves.

I agree with most are saying.

We have a little who doesn't have a name right now, we're still not sure if he doesn't want to call attention to himself or what, since he's rarely around. But trying to name him without having his agreement feels not okay for us.

One of us had a "name change", but more than that I think it was that his name wasn't heard correctly the first time (Can't be sure since I wasn't the one who was there at the time) since he just changed the order of two letters.

Anyway, I think giving them chance to tell you why they don't want a name would be great, maybe they can tell you something that would be helpful to identify them.