organizing a system

I think a short holiday helped me to gather a bit more momentum. I've been doing the cooking lately. And cleaning up, every day for about 20-30 minutes.
Today I finally saw the progress. I vacuumed abd mopped the floor. It's been impossible for the last three months because there was just stuff everywhere, like a bomb exploded with stuff.
I live in a tiny place. It's like living in a van. So you actually need to do tidying up every day, sometimes even every few hours. Even when everything is cleaned up you can't sit in my house with more than three people.
So.... yeah... maybe not the best match if you have issues with doing household stuff.

I also remembered that my mum made me do the household so much when I was a child that the only thing I asked for for my birthday was a new vacuum cleaner. She said everything would be so much easier and less work if I wouldn't be there, but then when I moved out she soon found out reality and hired a cleaning lady.

I've been trying a new tactic; setting intentions. So I have a clearer view of what my goals are and it "counts" (is good enough) if I work on getting in that direction. Eg. I want to take cold showers, but it's "good enough" if I shower as far as i feel comfortable from the hottest setting.
Same with food, the intention is to eat as many vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and stuff like lentils and peas as I can. But the goal is to make as many meals as possible that fit with that, still sort of goingwith the flow of what is possible. (Some parts just DON'T LIKE some foods). It's helping with the shame.

I am so scared that I lack discipline. Maybe that's what the T was trying to get at with her "punishment" idea. In a way I still feel like a child myself, so how can I take the lead and provide a safe environment and safe boundaries?
One step at a time.
At least now I like the direction it's going.