figuring things out

Things are feeling less stressful with Max. We're still sort of figuring out what to do as far as finding a new therapist and such, but I think we both feel more at ease after spending some time last week and during the weekend trying to sort things out.
I still feel like we more fit the category of OSDD, but I also get this feeling that Max wants to be more "involved." My last therapist wanted to immediately try to integrate Max as soon as he put a foot forward during a difficult moment during a session and that just really turned me against going back. I'm at a spot in life where things aren't too stressful, so I'm able to put some thought and time and energy into sorting myself out a bit better.

MellonCollie wrote:Things are feeling less stressful with Max. We're still sort of figuring out what to do as far as finding a new therapist and such, but I think we both feel more at ease after spending some time last week and during the weekend trying to sort things out.
I still feel like we more fit the category of OSDD, but I also get this feeling that Max wants to be more "involved." My last therapist wanted to immediately try to integrate Max as soon as he put a foot forward during a difficult moment during a session and that just really turned me against going back. I'm at a spot in life where things aren't too stressful, so I'm able to put some thought and time and energy into sorting myself out a bit better.

From what we're learning (by experience and research), there's like NO SUCH THING as "immediately integrating". THAT is a long and difficult process. It takes time and cooperation, work from BOTH people to get there... Our T told us it could take a long long for us to get co-conscious, maybe YEARS to get integrated... and that's like talking about Zor and I- who are totally willing to work on moving that direction and stuff (we'll see how far it goes as it progresses - see where we're both comfortable at and going towards).

But like for real, there's like NO benefit in "immediately" doing something. Even starting that like needs time and work to get to where like both people are in a place to start working on it- and that means like both of them have to want it and agree on that process is like good for you. It's like NOT the kinda thing you can pressure or force a person to do, but even if you could, that would be like a TERRIBLE thing to do to a person. I'd see that as like a serious violation of trust and respect for me as a person if Zor or any of us tried to FORCE ME to do that with them. ***TRIGGER WARNING (for language) --- IMHO, that's not much diff than a prolonged mental raping - to force a person against their will into a relationship that's intimately connected in the mind like that. END TW***

You so did the right thing in NOT going back- and I would have NEVER gone back either. Nope. Not after that. So inappropriate.

{\Pixie/}

Like...they didn't even ask. I felt so talked down to the entire time. The only sort of "coping mechanism" they offered was:
"Let's just shove this into a box to deal with next time. Let me know if you have any nightmares."


That's 89% why I'm in therapy. I spent so long visualizing putting problems in bottles like ships as a child. Nothing got dealt with. Ever.

MellonCollie wrote:Like...they didn't even ask. I felt so talked down to the entire time. The only sort of "coping mechanism" they offered was:
"Let's just shove this into a box to deal with next time. Let me know if you have any nightmares."


That's 89% why I'm in therapy. I spent so long visualizing putting problems in bottles like ships as a child. Nothing got dealt with. Ever.

I got like super mad the first time our T talked to Zor and was like "they're not real people" or "don't talk about or think of them as real people". I can't even imagine if he was like trying to force us to be like integrated in the "we're gonna get rid of them" kinda thinking! >:(

{\Pixie/}

It's so gross and frustrating! I'm so sorry that happened to you all, but it's nice that someone understands...

I got like super mad the first time our T talked to Zor and was like "they're not real people" or "don't talk about or think of them as real people". I can't even imagine if he was like trying to force us to be like integrated in the "we're gonna get rid of them" kinda thinking! >:(

{\Pixie/}[/quote]

One of Britney's biggest fears when I told our T about the others was that she (the T) would mention integration and insist on working towards that. We only have one part that would welcome integration, but only if it happens naturally.

B would sabotage our work with any therapist who tried to push towards integration.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that!

K

-- Mon Oct 29, 2018 12:13 pm --

MellonCollie wrote:Like...they didn't even ask. I felt so talked down to the entire time. The only sort of "coping mechanism" they offered was:
"Let's just shove this into a box to deal with next time. Let me know if you have any nightmares."


That's 89% why I'm in therapy. I spent so long visualizing putting problems in bottles like ships as a child. Nothing got dealt with. Ever.

Yeah, bottling problems up never helps!
Ugh!

K

Max got very, very angry and completely shut everything down at a certain point. He just said
"No, we're done."
And I honestly couldn't get myself to talk after that.
There's going to be a lot more leg work and research before I jump back into seeing a professional again. I feel like I've had enough time away.

I hope you're all doing alright now and have good support and protectors.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I can see why. From what I've read, finding a good T with DID experience can be hard. Though, I only have experience dealing with my wife, and I guess we got lucky on her T.

All I can say is a good T is a VERY good thing.

MellonCollie,

I'm so sorry you had that experience. Definitely do a lot of "leg work and research" like you said and make sure whoever you choose has a LOT of experience treating DID.

SOHank wrote:All I can say is a good T is a VERY good thing.

This times 5 billion.

I'm checking out a new place soon...I hope that it works out. If they don't have someone there that has experience treating OSDD/DID, maybe they can at least point me toward someone/someplace that does.