by SystemFlo » Tue Aug 28, 2018 8:36 am
About when it's hard to pee when there's people around: it's very common thing with all people. It's believed to be most common social phobia especially with men. You know men's restrooms many times have those urinals, and there's other people who can actually watch? Not even nearly all men can pee in those. It is called shy pee, or shy bladder, or paruresis, or psychogenic urinary retention. So it's really really normal, not just within people with dissociation issues, but with all people.
People without any other problems can be treated with it like phobias are, just by starting to practice in more and more difficult places, and get used to it. It's maybe not as simple as some other type of phobias, where you can force yourself to do something, because if the pee doesn't come out, it just doesn't, it can't be forced. And also I think with DID/OSDD it's not a good idea to treat any phobias like that at all. Because it probably will be someone stronger forcing the scared one to do things they can't, and it will get worse. It has to be the one who is having the problem forcing themself to face it, never anyone else. So I don't know how to solve it.
What can help is to open the faucet, and look and hear the water dripping down. If it's possible, you can also put your hand under water. For some reason it helps. You know there is also a prank about it, to put a sleeping persons hand in a bowl of water, and they will wet themselves? I don't know what is the explanation of it, why does water help with peeing, or can even cause it, but for some reason it can. It doesn't always work, but it's worth of trying, if you haven't already. With me it helps more, if I'm concentrating on the water and trying to relax, not concentrating on the peeing, which makes it worse.
When I have been in rehab, I've needed to pee with someone watching. They need the test to check you haven't used anything you shouldn't, and some people try to cheat, and use someone else's pee for example. That is why there is someone looking it is actually you peeing. It was like pure torture! I tried several times, but couldn't. It took so many hours in total, before I got it finally done, and I tried many times. I felt like my bladder was going to explode, but still couldn't pee. And when I finally could, I peed so much, I didn't know it was even possible to have that much stuff in someones bladder. NO rehabs for me ever again, not after those experiences.
(I didn't found them helpful for other reasons either. Mainly because of the attitude of some staff members. I was there to be helped, not looked down to. They were clearly interested only the physical side of it, not the reasons why. And I was put there instead of the hospital and was gonna go to the hospital after it, and would've needed help. They also gave me some kind of medication which caused my blood pressure to collapse down, and I was rushed to the hospital because of that, to get my heart monitored. There I would have needed to pee also, but I needed to be monitored, so I couldn't go to toilet. They gave me removable toilet seat next to my bed in the room full of other patients and nurses, and I tried to pee in it, but couldn't. So there I was laying on the bed thinking just when will I be released from the monitoring thing and can go to pee. That was the time in rehab I told about, when I created new part, the boy who was in hospital, to help me deal with things happening then. And after I was finally home again, he disappeared from the inner world.)
) to tell them simply in words they can understand, what he DOES think about us (likes us, cares about us, is committed to working with us, feels that we are valuable and important just for being us, etc). It's been very reassuring for the littles, and good for me to get past that feeling of, "I KNOW that's true so it would be silly to have to ask him AGAIN to tell me that it's true."
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