Some disclosure from an alter

DozensOfDenizens wrote:

Zor wrote:I'll get him taught better and straightened out! LOL

{\Pixie/}

...I'm going to hold back some of the others' responses to that comment. LOL

Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
And, honestly I know all of us soooo much better than he does- even the ones that don't know they are one of us (they think they are like their own person, body and all).
{\Pixie/}

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:

Zor wrote:I'll get him taught better and straightened out! LOL

{\Pixie/}

...I'm going to hold back some of the others' responses to that comment. LOL

Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
And, honestly I know all of us soooo much better than he does- even the ones that don't know they are one of us (they think they are like their own person, body and all).
{\Pixie/}

I don't think I've met anyone in our system that knows everybody like you seem to know everybody in y'all's system. Or at least, I haven't had a chance to talk with them much about everybody else. Dom knew that Mike had been around since I was doing Karate in like 1st grade, so I feel like he might know everyone in our system in the way you know everyone in y'all's system.

I haven't met anyone in our system who's dissociated as far as those you described in the last bit of your reply, though. That seems kind of difficult to deal with honestly, from their perspective and yours.

DozensOfDenizens wrote:I don't think I've met anyone in our system that knows everybody like you seem to know everybody in y'all's system. Or at least, I haven't had a chance to talk with them much about everybody else. Dom knew that Mike had been around since I was doing Karate in like 1st grade, so I feel like he might know everyone in our system in the way you know everyone in y'all's system.

I haven't met anyone in our system who's dissociated as far as those you described in the last bit of your reply, though. That seems kind of difficult to deal with honestly, from their perspective and yours.

Now if I could just begin to learn them all to some degree like she knows them… At least I've got a good relationship with her, she's willing to communicate with me, and willing to work with me in this. I can't imagine the difficulty if none of them knew they were alters (a few, apparently, don't know), or if they were hostile to the idea of working WITH me, of being cooperative… 

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:I don't think I've met anyone in our system that knows everybody like you seem to know everybody in y'all's system. Or at least, I haven't had a chance to talk with them much about everybody else. Dom knew that Mike had been around since I was doing Karate in like 1st grade, so I feel like he might know everyone in our system in the way you know everyone in y'all's system.

I haven't met anyone in our system who's dissociated as far as those you described in the last bit of your reply, though. That seems kind of difficult to deal with honestly, from their perspective and yours.

Now if I could just begin to learn them all to some degree like she knows them… At least I've got a good relationship with her, she's willing to communicate with me, and willing to work with me in this. I can't imagine the difficulty if none of them knew they were alters (a few, apparently, don't know), or if they were hostile to the idea of working WITH me, of being cooperative… 

To an extent, it's not always necessary for the host to know everybody in the head I feel. I hope you get the understanding of your system that you need to function well with everybody, though:3 I'm glad you have Pixie working with you to do so ^w^

DozensOfDenizens wrote:To an extent, it's not always necessary for the host to know everybody in the head I feel. I hope you get the understanding of your system that you need to function well with everybody, though:3 I'm glad you have Pixie working with you to do so ^w^

True, but it could (I think, at least some times) be helpful to know who is "there"… when I hear a voice it's nice to have a name or sense of the person it comes from. When I feel something they feel, it's a bit awkward (at the least) to have no idea where or who it comes from.

I don't think I NEED to know them all, per se… but a better sense and awareness of the ones I know would be nice… and knowing OF them, at least, would be a little less jarring when they make their presence known in some form or fashion. It'd be less confusing if nothing else.

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:To an extent, it's not always necessary for the host to know everybody in the head I feel. I hope you get the understanding of your system that you need to function well with everybody, though:3 I'm glad you have Pixie working with you to do so ^w^

True, but it could (I think, at least some times) be helpful to know who is "there"… when I hear a voice it's nice to have a name or sense of the person it comes from. When I feel something they feel, it's a bit awkward (at the least) to have no idea where or who it comes from.

I don't think I NEED to know them all, per se… but a better sense and awareness of the ones I know would be nice… and knowing OF them, at least, would be a little less jarring when they make their presence known in some form or fashion. It'd be less confusing if nothing else.

Having just got a pretty close-to-full mind map from Head Captain working on it the past few days, it is pretty helpful to have a full understanding of who is there, (or at least, in our case, which subsystems people might be a part of). Every part serves a purpose, and every part has a time to become known to the host(s)~

DozensOfDenizens wrote:Having just got a pretty close-to-full mind map from Head Captain working on it the past few days, it is pretty helpful to have a full understanding of who is there, (or at least, in our case, which subsystems people might be a part of). Every part serves a purpose, and every part has a time to become known to the host(s)~

That is something I would like to try and work on, too… to try and figure out a list or "map" of all my parts, the others… to know who is there.

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:Having just got a pretty close-to-full mind map from Head Captain working on it the past few days, it is pretty helpful to have a full understanding of who is there, (or at least, in our case, which subsystems people might be a part of). Every part serves a purpose, and every part has a time to become known to the host(s)~

That is something I would like to try and work on, too… to try and figure out a list or "map" of all my parts, the others… to know who is there.

I think that if it's what your system needs, then someone, or multiple members of your system, will make one. It's what our system needed, so I worked with the others to make it:D

-- Tue Jun 26, 2018 7:12 am --

Oh, and I also want to add that it's not always the right time for everything. It just happened to work out that this was the right time for us to have a mind-map:)

Edit: I'm not 100% sure it was only me that said this. A lot of us System Veterans are integrated in varying ways at different times and it can get a little confusing who's saying what

-- Tue Jun 26, 2018 7:17 am --

I mean, we have 93 denizens in our mind-map and have a lot more that we have yet to find. We'd be hard-pressed to sort through all of the trauma every one has gone through without a mind-map.

...Fair point.

DozensOfDenizens wrote:I think that if it's what your system needs, then someone, or multiple members of your system, will make one. It's what our system needed, so I worked with the others to make it:D

That's a good point. I am not pressuring or trying too hard at this time to figure it out- it's more of a curiosity and "I really wish I knew"- there's a sense of "who the heck am I" that goes along with being told you're dissociative and there's other people in your head. I feel almost incomplete in a sense, b/c I don't know who is in my head and makes up who "I" (in the "me" sense) am. It's so weird feeling. I feel like there are "gaps" in my self-understanding and self-perception. For my own peace of mind and sense of completeness, I'd like to know who all "I" (in the we sense) am.

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:I think that if it's what your system needs, then someone, or multiple members of your system, will make one. It's what our system needed, so I worked with the others to make it:D

That's a good point. I am not pressuring or trying too hard at this time to figure it out- it's more of a curiosity and "I really wish I knew"- there's a sense of "who the heck am I" that goes along with being told you're dissociative and there's other people in your head. I feel almost incomplete in a sense, b/c I don't know who is in my head and makes up who "I" (in the "me" sense) am. It's so weird feeling. I feel like there are "gaps" in my self-understanding and self-perception. For my own peace of mind and sense of completeness, I'd like to know who all "I" (in the we sense) am.

This comes with time, sweetie. Those gaps will close and you will come to find yourself within your system. Take it one step at a time, and put one paw in front of the other. We don't have to always know who we are.