Looking for help with getting to know alters

Hiyas

I tried to do a search here for "Communicating with Alters" and came up with none.

The past few weeks especially have been hard on me and things seem to be unraveling quickly again. My dreams are upsetting but can't remember any of them. I am in a fog much more than usual and last week can hardly remember much of it. That is very rare for me.

I've been having lots of times where I suddenly feel confused and lost (as in I suddenly don't know where I am and have to try and figure it out with road signs or things I can recognize).

It's been pretty poopy and scary.

Even now I keep blanking out as to why I am writing this and have to look at the title to remember. ugg

"Looking for help with getting to know alters"

Somewhere far away I keep hearing this thought or voice that says I need to be able to talk to my other parts better so that this stuff will go away.

We got some journals and stickers to cover them at Dollar store.

I'm sorry I seem so confused right now. I'm scared.

Can any of you help me learn how to be closer with the others so that we can work together so I'm not so alone and scared?

I can't find the words to say it right

There are all these people in here running around but do their own stuff and ignore me and leave me all alone again.

My big me is far away but trying to help me. he says to ask some of you how to meet them, get to know them and work together so that it's not like this carnival. he says you'll know what that means.

I'm afraid to post this but he says send it. he's frustrated and grumpy

marky

Hi marky, I'm sorry you're feeling this way:(

And I think it's great that you've made this topic. Lumpy was right; you can ask all kinds of questions about this on this website.

Whenever you feel this way; ground. Tell yourself what year it is (it's 2018 and Lumpy is doing great with all his figuring out theories for the system!), where you are, touch a pen and tell yourself it's a pen, feel the chair you're sitting on, etc. When you relax more, you can maybe understand the chaos you're experiencing better, which makes it way less scary for you and that will open up ways that work for all of you to communicate.

This can happen in journals, in your thoughts, in the mirror; you'll see when you calm down and I bet you can do that:) It's very overwhelming at times and I'm, again, sorry you feel this way:( But this will pass; it will.

Hiyas

I just wanted to apologize for the seemingly confused and chaotic content of the post.

I really am very embarrassed by it and am a bit more present now to be able to convey what I am hoping to find.

I'm looking for helpful ways that any of you have found to get to know and learn about different parts who are off in their own worlds.

I have a few parts of me that I am pretty close with, but there are seemingly quite a few here that are a mystery to me and they have been fronting and blending with us and they seem like total strangers.

I was hoping that by getting to know them and build communication with more of my parts, things can start to calm down again.

I feel really silly for asking this even. But I'm willing to put my embarrassment aside in hopes of finding some help. It's been so chaotic the past couple weeks, it's been hard to function much of the time and all the progress I felt I've made previously went right out the window.

Thank You for any tips or tools you have have to offer

Warmly
Lumpy

Thank You Efragment

Your thoughtful and kind response was very helpful for becoming more present as Lumpy. I think because it was familiar to me? Thank You

I've had "Grounding Techniques" drilled into me for the past 5 years. They can be very helpful at times for sure. But other times they only seem to make things worse?

My "Session Notes" from the past 5 years with T's are littered with notes about it. I'll leave that topic for a different Post.

Warmly
Lumpy

Ah, I'm very glad that helped Don't know if this is of importance to you, but I tried adressing marky ánd you by mentioning you in a positive way as well.

When grounding makes it worse you maybe don't actually take the time for it? You 'work' in stead of 'just be'?

Anyway; good you're feeling better!!

Dear Efragment

Thanks again for the kind words and good observations too.

Efragment wrote:Ah, I'm very glad that helped Don't know if this is of importance to you, but I tried adressing marky ánd you by mentioning you in a positive way as well.

Interesting observation Efragment. Yes it really did seem helpful and seems important now looking back. I felt very comforted by that. Thanks

Efragment wrote:A
When grounding makes it worse you maybe don't actually take the time for it? You 'work' in stead of 'just be'?

Anyway; good you're feeling better!!

I'm "working" on that lately too. lol

We are using "Acceptance. Commitment. Therapy" (ACT), tools as far as trying to just "Be" more as well as trying to feel safer when I get triggered. Combined with my trusty "Paradoxical Intention" tool from "Logo Therapy" , it does seem to be quite helpful when I am clear enough to use it. But only is available to try after I come back down quite a bit.

Yes I am certainly "working" my lil tail off. but is like deep deep down inside a very foggy dark cave of Depersonalization. If Drooling and staring into space is a "Coping Skill" we want, then I am already a life time expert at it.

That Thick, dark, nasty Fog is where I spend far too much time and is my #1 complaint above all else. I can roll with everything else, but that one. I've been doing it severely since age 3 and is very strong. It's basically all I have ever known and come to out of it constantly and makes even simple tasks a hopeful wish. I imagine being in an Opium Haze for a lifetime would be the same effect. Yet another reason why I have never touched them nor would they even do anything at all anyway. Why bother when I live there for free and hate it.

As far as the "working" part and not actually taking the time for it and struggle instead of simply experience it? I can certainly agree with that for sure. The experience with it is like trying to blow out those trick birthday candles that just keep igniting as soon as you blow them out. I just keep huffing and blowing trying to get that stuff to kick in. I'm sure you understand if you have ever had panic attacks. It's certainly out of desperation and panic.

Boy today just really sucked bad! On top of the stuff all day long I had to deal with, I got slammed hard financially and didn't have much of a say in the matter. It was really embarrassing having to deal with so many people this afternoon while having seizures. It freaks people out and they all try to look away and ignore it nervously. Myself included so I don't blame anyone.

I often seem to live in a "Dialectic Paradox" from Planet "X".

Warmly
Lumpy

lumpy68 wrote:Dear Efragment

Thanks again for the kind words and good observations too.

Efragment wrote:Ah, I'm very glad that helped Don't know if this is of importance to you, but I tried adressing marky ánd you by mentioning you in a positive way as well.

Interesting observation Efragment. Yes it really did seem helpful and seems important now looking back. I felt very comforted by that. Thanks

Very welcome and I thank you for sharing that, was a bit insecure if I was being appropiate (I always have that when I'm being very sincere/connecting; comes with the psychological abuse package. It's good to realize how deep that one goes, so this was helpful for the both of us )!

lumpy68 wrote:

Efragment wrote:A
When grounding makes it worse you maybe don't actually take the time for it? You 'work' in stead of 'just be'?

Anyway; good you're feeling better!!

I'm "working" on that lately too. lol

We are using "Acceptance. Commitment. Therapy" (ACT), tools as far as trying to just "Be" more as well as trying to feel safer when I get triggered. Combined with my trusty "Paradoxical Intention" tool from "Logo Therapy" , it does seem to be quite helpful when I am clear enough to use it. But only is available to try after I come back down quite a bit.

Yes I am certainly "working" my lil tail off. but is like deep deep down inside a very foggy dark cave of Depersonalization. If Drooling and staring into space is a "Coping Skill" we want, then I am already a life time expert at it.

That Thick, dark, nasty Fog is where I spend far too much time and is my #1 complaint above all else. I can roll with everything else, but that one. I've been doing it severely since age 3 and is very strong. It's basically all I have ever known and come to out of it constantly and makes even simple tasks a hopeful wish. I imagine being in an Opium Haze for a lifetime would be the same effect. Yet another reason why I have never touched them nor would they even do anything at all anyway. Why bother when I live there for free and hate it.

Here it's rocking back and forth, sometimes for hours in a row. Makes me feel so damn handicapped:( The depersonalization is horrible, yes. I have 1 part who doesn't have that. It's crazy. When she fronts; within a second, all gone. Good eye sight, clear mind, physical fitness, everything. Very good job of our E1, who took care of that while 'building the system':) She knew nothing about any of the more extreme trauma's, so there's truelly not much damage there.

For all other parts who have it; reduce stress (which will also happen when there's better communication; they'll finally be heard, accepted). It sounds so simple but that truelly is the key, I think.

lumpy68 wrote:As far as the "working" part and not actually taking the time for it and struggle instead of simply experience it? I can certainly agree with that for sure. The experience with it is like trying to blow out those trick birthday candles that just keep igniting as soon as you blow them out. I just keep huffing and blowing trying to get that stuff to kick in. I'm sure you understand if you have ever had panic attacks. It's certainly out of desperation and panic.

Yeah, it can be really hard 'breaking through' that. Knowing that being relaxed is the only thing that will help, is maybe also what makes it worse when being so damn frustrated you aren't relaxed! It's like knowing you have to wake up really early in the morning, not being able to sleep and only the thought of that alarmclock will prevent you from what you supposed to do; sleeping.

lumpy68 wrote:Boy today just really sucked bad! On top of the stuff all day long I had to deal with, I got slammed hard financially and didn't have much of a say in the matter. It was really embarrassing having to deal with so many people this afternoon while having seizures. It freaks people out and they all try to look away and ignore it nervously. Myself included so I don't blame anyone.

I often seem to live in a "Dialectic Paradox" from Planet "X".

Warmly
Lumpy

Hope today will be better, and I'm sorry about those seizures and how people respond to that:(

I'm not sure how any of this works but, for what it's worth, here are my thoughts:

Treat them like separate people. At the moment they are interfering with each other and so you need to communicate with them while keeping them at a distance.

Write to them as if they are far away. Write each of them a letter, explaining how you feel and what you would like from them and request that they respond in kind. If one is too young, ask for a drawing.

It might help structure your thoughts individually and get a clearer idea of what each of them wants. If they feel they each have a voice they might be more settled.