Learning about my persecutor part

This part in my system is named Bad Man...because the man that abused 4 year old has always been known as Bad Man and this because a part internalized...if that makes sense. This Part does a lot of self-harm and wants to kill Holly sometimes. This part says really mean things, etc.

My therapist said that this part might need a new name...because this part isn't actually bad. She said that this part might actually hold a lot of the "worst" feelings...such as anger and rage. This part might actually be really young and scared.

I'm trying to understand this better...but it's really confusing to Holly and some other Parts.

It feels weird that I might have to re-name this part. This part has always looked like the man that abused 4 year old. Is that weird?

I'm here to ask this and reach out and see if I can help Holly with this...thanks

-Haley.

I can related a bit to what your saying.

We have a part that we don't know yet, but sometimes he gets closer and we know he's an introject of my father.
His presence is like my father's, he looks like my father, etc.
Even if we know him being my father is "just" a kind of illusion in order to protect himself/the system, and with time and understanding he could be as cooperative as the reste of the system, most of us aren't yet ready to deal with it, so we're blocking him away.

About the theory of your T, some part sometimes hide themselves under a shape that aren't really theirs. Sometime, it's behind the look of an animal, sometimes behind the look of what scared them. It's a way to protect themselves, like "if I look scary, I will not need to be scared anymore", or to protect the system like "if I look like the one who harms us, I'll be able to prevent him from harming us again by scaring everyone else".

Giving him a new name could be a way to let him know or to help him understand that he doesn't need to be scary anymore.

We have an alter whose mission seems to be an perpetual urge to kill us as she is in enormous pain. Our T has told us it is possible that this suicidal (and often self-loathing) alter is actually a protector for their job is to hold that surplus of pain, which is a challenge to wrap our head around.

All the parts have an important purpose for the system, so even ones that seem "all bad" really can't be. What my T said about the one I have who is hopeless and wants us to die (or at least cut a little) is that she was around at a time when things were so bad that that was the only solution she could see that would prevent worse pain. It's a way of helping, just one that is not helpful now. Same with the one that constantly calls us ugly, stupid, and weird (and makes us feel that way...). We were around people who thought that about us, so it made sense to think that way about ourselves as a protection, to avoid more pain. Now no one sees us that way (unless we make an effort to prove to them that we are), so it causes more harm than good.

Anyway, that's what I've understood so far about what's happening. I'm sure I have a lot more to learn.