Giving in or acceptance **TW**

Have put **TW** because this seems to be about something more than just the words and I don't know if that is just me or that it if it could really be triggering for somebody else. Don't know if this will make any sense to anybody else but what is the difference between giving in and acceptance. This might say more than the actual words. This is feeling like a massive question wight now. Think might have hit on something we have been struggling with for a long time. Is it easier just to stop fighting and why when I write that do all my fear sensors kick in when I am relating that to trying to accept this condition?

Think need to bring this to T but know that by Monday we might well have forgotten we wrote it.

I see it this way:

Say your walking along a trail, but your path is blocked by rocks. Giving in is saying "My way is blocked, I'll just go home"; Acceptance is saying "This way is blocked, I'll go find another way"

I don't know how to put the distinction in plain words, sorry.

we are having a similar discussion. from what we talked about the difference might be hope.
acceptance is not without hope, if you put it in the right thing.
Asti & L

Noppera-bo wrote:I see it this way:

Say your walking along a trail, but your path is blocked by rocks. Giving in is saying "My way is blocked, I'll just go home"; Acceptance is saying "This way is blocked, I'll go find another way"

I don't know how to put the distinction in plain words, sorry.

That is a most excellent analogy. Nopera-bo we can work with that.

Birdsong - hope keep forgetting about hope.

Thank you both

Yes, I agree with the points above... I would also like to add that giving in feels somewhat out of control and sad/angry, whereas acceptance feels more calm (at least for me).

LittleMie wrote:Think might have hit on something we have been struggling with for a long time. Is it easier just to stop fighting and why when I write that do all my fear sensors kick in when I am relating that to trying to accept this condition?

Reading this, I also had the thought that acceptance is a bit like like compassionately 'hugging' the problem / the way things are, in a way that things are free to come and go. So, you may not be happy with the way things are now, but they are this way now... And in some way, somehow, that has the potential to be okay, too.

(Excuse my vague wording!)

I think sometimes giving in, in the sense of relinquishing control, has to come before acceptance--it's not necessarily one vs. the other. So in the path example, there is first the giving in that you can't go the way you wanted to (as opposed to giving up and heading home), and then the acceptance that you need to find another way.

LittleMie wrote: Is it easier just to stop fighting and why when I write that do all my fear sensors kick in when I am relating that to trying to accept this condition?

I think I experience this same thing, especially when it comes to letting other parts express themselves. I have to give in to the fact that they are there and have different feelings and needs than I do (as the one who fronts and has spent a lot of time pushing them down). I'll get to a point of "Fine, whatever. I'm tired of fighting this--just say or do whatever it is you have to." It's uncomfortable, and feels like I'm giving in to them, but I also know on some level that this is what I'm supposed to be doing in order to heal. It seems to me that acceptance would be a step beyond this--a more welcoming feeling from a stronger position rather than a feeling of surrender.

I don't know if it would help you to think of it as less either-or (fighting vs. giving in). There could be a little giving in, maybe, to one small thing at a time. For me it would be kind of like, "ok, you can say or do what you want to right now, but then I really need to go back to ignoring you and pretending you're not really there."

lately I have been struggling to accept our condition (being disabled, not the DID)
I want to give up and I hate when L says there is hope.
I think we are both wrong.
radical acceptance would acknowledge the truth of the situation and keep going WITH it. I cant get to that place because I refuse to see this as reality. I fight reality. and then i get tired cause I dont want to fight anymore, not realizing that i was fighting myself and reality never changed.
L is wrong because she sees hope all the time, but radical acceptance would ask her to see the truth of the situation and keep going WITH it. she is moving in places without it, thinking she can hope her way out and make this unreal somehow.
if it is something you cannot change you need radical acceptance and use it as a tool.
if there is a stone in the way there is a stone in the way. we need to learn to live with a way that has a stone.
if that makes any sense at all...