Hello, how does this thing work?

Hello
we are new to this place
feeling incredibly lonely lately
my people don't feel accepted by anyone
so they do not want to come out at all
but they are still inside
wanting to be acknowledged.. because i am studying and working they have less out time. out time is only when i am safe alone. Or you know if im triggered and switch. i dont know how to create safety for us to be seen.
I dont know who the original is, but i have been the front for 3 yrs, diagnosed 9 years ago. female body thats 29.
have had many therapists, have a new one, its been almost a year, she seems nice, should I let some of us meet her? I have been burned on many occasions. sent to psych wards, had people pray over me, other things. feeling a bit apprehensive, but also little ones want to speak to her.
Anyways please drop a line and introduce yourselves!
any tips on opening up and staying safe i would love to hear
thanks

Hi Tain Team,

Welcome. This is a great place to connect. There is a special for the littles. They love it. Learning to trust a T is tough. Does she have some knowledge/training in DID? That helps, although if they have done their work and have open caring hearts and are good at relationships, I think that's the main thing.

I, of course have had this for years and done a lot of therapy in the 80's and 90's, but was only diagnosed about 6 months ago. I've been the host since the early 90's. I am 72, a little old to be on this journey. We are mostly co-conscious. We are 19 folks.

So glad you are here.

Warmly,
Berta

Hi TainTeam,

Welcome to the forum.

Telling therapists is a big deal. I'm glad your new one is nice. We have a really great T who accepts us and even calls us by our names. But of course we didn't know that before we told her.

We'd like to tell you some really great way to do this but we didn't do it very smart. Evan (who's a little) just had a melt down one day and cried all over T's office. That pretty much told her all she needed to know. She was cool about it though.

Good luck,

Iain

Hi TainTeam,

Welcome! We're new to posting here, too, and I'm still learning a lot about my system and who is in it. Any of your inside people can write here if they want to, and it's a nice place to be accepted and acknowledged!

It's been hard for me to give inside people time to do what they want to do because I've been so used to ignoring them my whole life. Sometimes I worry that it's wasting time to watch cartoons or color when there is so much "important" stuff that has to get done. But I've been learning that my days go much better if I make sure to give them some time, even if it's just to write in the journal before I go to sleep so they can tell me how they are feeling and what they want. So I guess I'm saying that it's important to make sure you take time to open up to yourself, too.

As for therapists, I think it's really important that they have training in treating DID. It's very specialized and there are lots of pitfalls for therapists even if they are caring and competent at treating other things. I know that in my system, the littles are not very good at judging who is safe for them to get attached to, and once they do get attached, they never want to let go, and feel desperate to hold on, even if other parts figure out that the relationship isn't going well.

My new therapist (since June) is an expert in DID--he trains and supervises other therapists in treating it and gives presentations about it, and he has lots of clinical experience, so someone having inside people is not a big deal to him at all. But I'm still being very careful about developing trust, and protector parts are calling him out on every little thing he does that doesn't feel right for us. So far, he's proving over and over that he will adjust to what we need.

So, for me, someone just seeming "nice" wouldn't be enough. Maybe you could start out by asking her if she knows anything about dissociative disorders or how to treat them, and get more information before you think about letting the little ones get more connected.

Best,
S.P.

Thanks everyone for all your replies!!

This is totally surreal writing somewhere and having people understand it, you guys are awesome!!

yes i agree its so important to have team time, makes the whole day run a lot smoother!

yes this therapist actually does now about DI and she has explained "structural dissociation" to us, which we liked a bit, also she has lots of toys in her office and I messaged her once when I switched and she told me about it next session, so she does the whole( t 29 needs to know what happens).
in the past it has been like Therapists coaxing me to switch and then a little one is out at the end of the session, I havent known whats happneded and its really hard to get back. I think i trust this one. But theres this argument like, we only will have her for another year (she is my college counsellor and i have one year left) but also maybe we would only need a year if she really is an outside safe attachment figure!!

another question, how do you guys get everyoned needs met, with only 24 hours in a day? We seem to have a very busy sleep time, with a lot of meetings and things happening, so the body seems "asleep" but really we are all doing stuff, does anyone else sleep for long amounts of time?