Blue days

So it comes down to ... what is normal and who gets to decide.

well im glad that you are doing something you enjoy harri. and its nice to know that a lot of us have an interesting artistic talent. i myself gravitate around the guitar, but still stick to some tangible arts such as drawing.

it takes strength to persevere, little changes can require that. i'm sure you'll do just fine once everything settles down

Yeah, I agree that high IQ and high levels of functioning are associated with DID. Recently I keep hearing/reading the phrase 'genius is often accompanied by madness' or 'genius often has a darker side'.
Well I'd rather have that than 'singleton personality disorder'. (that's a brilliant name, Grace, I love it!) Last time I read up on it, 'normal functioning people' only use 5% of their brain!

I was a child genius I guess, I always had very high grades (which was embarrassing in school), but I always preferred the musical/artistic/creative side of things. I guess you guys are probably similar!

There's something weird about my creativity though. I'm not sure if you get this at all, but when I force myself to do lots of work that is either not creative, or creative-but-not-what-I'm-imagining-in-my-head, I end up having these amazing creative outbursts for my stories and stuff, and invent amazing things.
So when I do nothing in my day, I get creative block, then when I do lots of things, the creativity all comes at once!
Sometimes I force myself to study maths, just so the creativity will come and overtake it!

i kinda have that, i know im a very creative person. but often i dont have confidence in myself and i kinda mope around thinking "man im so untallented, i wish i had talent" and then i force myself to try something creative, usually just dick around with forms of art im not familiar with then suddenly im hit with the inspiration and its like an explosion, i cant draw fast enough, write fast enough, the creativity is overflowing my senses and im purely driven to just get it out as fast as possible as much as possible. i have learned to channel it into ideas by hitting a voice recorder and just stating whats going on in my head and then later once the chaos is over i have a detailed list of ideas as to what i want to do creatively and i remember it all then i get started on my works.

WOW, THIS IS UNCANNY. I DO THE SAME THING. I'LL GO WEEKS AND NOT PICK UP A BRUSH AND STAY UNINSPIRED. THEN SOMETHING WILL GET ME STARTED AND I'LL PAINT NON STOP FOR DAYS. IT'S STRANGE, I WAS A STRAIGHT A STUDENT TOO, WITHOUT MUCH EFFORT. EVEN THOUGH I SCORED HIGH ON AN IQ TEST I'VE ALWAYS FELT DUMB. MAYBE IT'S DO PARTLY TO BEING DYSLEXSIC.(THAT'S WHY I CAN'T SPELL WORTH A CRAP AND TYPE THE WAY I DO) IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO COMPLETE A POST. I TRY TO SIMPLIFY IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

IT'S WEIRD, I HAD TO START SCHOOL EARLY, SO I WAS YOUNGER THAN MY CLASSMATES. KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT WHEN IN KINDERGARDEN WE HAD TO DRAW A FLAG, AND MINE WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH WAVES AND ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE A FLAG. I WROTE SONGS WHEN I WAS 5 YRS. OLD. FREAKED OUT THE FIRST GRADE TEACHER WHILE SHE WAS TEACHING US HOW TO TELL TIME. YOU KNOW LIKE; QUARTER TILL, HALF PASSED THE HOUR, ETC... SHE THOUGHT I WAS DAY DREAMING, AS USUAL, AND ASKED ME WHAT THE TIME WAS. (IT WAS 1:40.) BEING A SMART ALEC, I ANSWERED " ONE THIRD TILL 2:00. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW I COULD BE SO TALENTED AT SOME THINGS AND SO RETARDED AT OTHERS. I'M SO DISORGANIZED IT'S PATHETIC. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO HOLD DOWN A JOB, OR FOR THE MOST PART, MAKE MUCH MONEY WITH MY ART, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SOME HANGING IN MUSEUMS. MY MULITASKER MUST BE BROKEN. MOST OF THE TIME I'M DISORIENTED AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED SEVERAL MIN. AGO.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVISE ON HOW TO FUNCTION BETTER?

DAZED AND CONFUSED.

~chuckles at your broken multitasker~

Benny - I've read a lot where you've said that you aren't fully co-existant with your alters. I would say that in order to use them to the benefit of all parts of you you will first have to be co-existant. After that it takes a careful examination into the character of each one.

Example:

I know that Tina takes care of the bills. The things that we all note are things of importance. It's really easy to allow other things to not sink into the brain. The mail will come in and I will look at the bills and because I really could care less about them I'll just toss them aside figuring Tina will get to them later. Tina hasn't clearly registered that there is something to get to, and then we'll get a disconnect notice and there's suddenly something "important" to look at. Rule #1 - I shouldn't get the mail.

Tina is very logically minded. She understands billing dates for our clients, holding to a schedule, making sure her daughters get to appointments. I, on the other hand, want to sleep in, hate math with a deep purple passion, and like to do what I want when I want. Rule #2 - these things have to be done... let Tina do them!

I am extremely creative, especially after a beating (I'm into BDSM - Master hates to do it... he's such a gentleman, but he will do it for me). Tina's web designs are flat, boring really. Rule #3, I design the layouts.

Tina can't be free, she's too take charge... I can't have "innocent" fun... trips to the zoo are for Dani. Playing games I can do, but Dani enjoys it more. Rule #4 - Those things are usually (when she can come out without fear of others) for her.

Again, Tina is a take charge kind of person. If she's in a meeting she can very easily run the thing. Attending a Fundamental Independent Baptist Church means that SHE can't do that. Rule # 5 - Maybe Belle should handle all meetings where a man should be in charge... or even a strong woman is in charge and should be. She's smart and mature, but a lady. SO NOT ME!

So by evaluating our roles we are able to know who can handle what and who should do what. That's going to be your first step to functioning effectively.

~diamond~

Wow Diamond and the rest,
I wish I could do that.
But as it stands I have so many alters that I don't even know all of their names.
In a way long time ago post I made a "family tree" so to speak and listed all of the alters to date. But sometimes I have 2-3 newly emerged alters come out in one day, and we have simply lost track... also being very disorganized.
being co-conscious is the best way I know to functioning better. When we were switching like crazy and losing time at work and school , I had no idea what was going on, and there was no way of informing me. OUr best system is by leaving notes for each other in a certain place. Whether its a journal, on the refrigerator, the front door,or on our cell phone with an alarm set! Also we give messages to Eliza and she lets the other alters know if we dont have time to write a note or we are simply trying to order a meal.
It is a lot of work but you will get there.
Hope this helps!
~Amber
I do a lot of artwork. Amber just bought me a really big Charcoal art pad because I wanted to make a big drawing. I love drawing espeically in charcoal. But I got some oil pastells too and I really like them!
-Jane